this song will play forever in our shared dream - minaahye - プロジェクトセカイ カラフルステージ！ (2024)

Chapter 1: ACT I

Chapter Text

All the best stories have gripping openings, tumultuous middles and fulfilling endings.

The worst ones let people down and do not capture people's hearts with the first sentence or paragraphs.

They fail to understand what peoplewant to see and read and hear about.

The more heart retching ones they give you hope and take it away at a moment's notice.

Building you up for something great before dismantling it brick by brick.

Like dreams.

Far.

Coveted.

Illustrious.

Always out of reach and taunting you.

Our story begins with one which turns to two that then became three.

Ending with four.

Formed from the heavens and the clouds.

Painstakingly, pieced together like a puzzle.

Fluffy and comforting and warm and perfect.

Dreams were ideas and visions.

They were cradled like children and improved to the point that they were.

They were formed from droplets of water like the oceans and the seas.

Piece by piece.

- Act I, Kotaki Taiga, The Formation of Dreams

Also known as the beginnings of RADder and their rise to fame despite the circ*mstances with love and dreams to power them. Coming closer together as friends and, eventually, a family of some sorts. Misshapen and ambled together against the odds as they fought to be who they are and who they want to be.

Chapter 2: I - 1

Chapter Text

Taiga remembered the day Nagi was born. He remembered being with their grandparents, who were awfully negligent if he had to be honest, and constantly staring at the door. He didn’t understand what had happened.

One moment, he was asleep, dreaming about something, anything really. The next moment he jolted awake to his ma's gasps and cries of pains. Her harsh words towards their pa before she gave him a watery grin and said, “your little sibling is coming.”

He couldn’t quite comprehend that at three. He didn’t get what they meant fully. It meant something important since everyone around them cooed at his ma’s stomach and constantly asked about her stomach. But Taiga didn’t get it.

He was also slightly irritated by it. Everyone cared about the stomach more than him. What was he? A forgotten train? He was much more than that! But his protests went unanswered as everyone continued to fuss over the stomach. Over his sibling....

Whilst he could remember his bitterness, but he also remembered what a good day it was. It was the 24^th of April and it was a glorious day. Taiga had been sent to his grandparents, forced to go to school and explain why he was so tired (thank God they were a community and they knew about his mother’s pregnancy. His explanation made no sense to them) and suffer through the school day before he was picked up by his grandma and went to theirs.

It was a beautiful day. A warm day. A joyous day. Just like Nagi.

The door jingled and in walked his parents, a tired and wary smile on his pa’s face as he held open the door for his ma who walked in carrying something that looked like dirty washing. He would come to know that ‘something’ as his annoying brat of a little sister. But right now, in that moment, Taiga remembered being confused as his ma walked so slowly. Hobbling on her way and hissing as she tried to sit down somewhere refusing to put down the washing.

His pa closed the door and looked st his grandparents and sighed. He bit his lip and crouched next to him.

“Hey kiddo,” his pa smiled, it was a crooked one as the frown lines on his forehead increased. “Do you want to meet your baby sister?”

Baby sister? What was that?

Taiga turned his head and his ma sighed and groaned. “Mizuto, he doesn’t know what that really is,” she seemed so so drained. “Come here baby, this is your baby sibling.”

“Where?” Taiga asked as he walked over to his ma.

“Right here, I wish I could bend down...” his ma sighed and his pa took the hint. Picking him up, though he would’ve protested and said he was too big, and bringing him close to the washing.

He frowned, that wasn’t washing. It was a strange thing with a scrunched up, slimy and red face. All fisted up like Taiga if he clenched his fist during a tantrum. It also seemed too much like him. Too close to him to deny a similarity, yet too different that it was possible if he thought hard enough at his sister. Whoever that was. Whatever that meant.

“She’s called Nagi...” his ma provided softly just as he turned to face her and ask ‘what?’ or ‘who?’ or ‘why?’

“Nagi...” he repeated and it sounded nice.

She was a small thing she was, Nagi. She was a tiny precious thing that stayed calm in his ma’s arms and he wanted to touch her. To reach out for her but he refrained from doing so because he was scared admittedly. Scared to hurt her because she looked so fragile. Like one of those glasses he has knocked off from that one event they had on the street before the stomach thing was a thing. Before Nagi was a thought.

“Kotaki Nagi,” his ma repeated as his pa set him down. “She’s your baby sister. You’re going to have to protect her as her older brother. Can you do that for me?” and in his heart of hearts, Taiga knew that was a ridiculous question. He had already made up his mind. He was going to protect her until the day he died.

Chapter 3: I - 2

Chapter Text

By the time she was two, they had all realised that Nagi was not the quiet and peaceful little thing she seemed. She was a crier. Every waking moment, all she did was cry and howl and screech and yell and she would cry so much sometimes all she did was just choke on water. On her spit. Because all Nagi did was sob and sob and nothing could soothe her.

Oh, and they had tried everything. Driving her around in a super warm car with soft lullabies? Failed. A specific teddy bear that was super super soft? She threw out of the crib immediately went straight back to her ratty and crumbling one. Lavender in the room and on the pillows? She was allergic to that actually. It lulled her to sleep but they couldn’t use it without taking up permanent residence in the hospital because she was covered in rashes and wailed even more when she woke up.

Taiga was desperate for something he realised as he rested his eyes in school. The teacher’s kept scolding him but once they remembered his little sister was cry-baby Nagi, they let him do whatever he pleased.

As per usual, Nagi was howling again, and he was home alone. The crib was too tall for him admittedly to reach for her like their ma did as she cooed at her softly and played with the few ruddy strands of hair she had on her head. He was too short to reach up and see if she wanted food, if she was hungry. But even then, he couldn’t make formula milk and his head was in pain as he walked into her nursery.

He had to do something so his parents didn’t worry when they came back from helping whoever they had to help.

“Hey, Nagi,” he called out as he entered the room and she stopped her crying for a moment before she sniffled again and began to screech at an even louder volume than before. He hadn’t known it was possible for her to be this much of a crier. None of them did really.

He looked around the room and thought. Lullabies always worked for everyone else, it had to work for her, right?

Taiga didn’t know how to sing. Whilst he grew up in a town full of songs, he had never tried to sing. It was always older children. Children who towered over him and covered in little metal bits that clung to their ears and nose. Children with pretty like pictures covering their arms and a deeper and more pronounced voice than his own.

He wouldn’t be the best. But he would try since he was going to be the best big brother Nagi could ever dream of.

One issue was: he had no clue what to sing.

What was a lullaby you could sing to children? He tried to cast his mind back to his own childhood and simple drew a blank. There wasn’t one at the forefront of his mind. It was nothingness save the songs he was forced to endour during school.

Would she even like them?

Taiga considered his options, weighing them out with his toy trains and in the end. One train had four carriages and the other one. The options were weighed and he’d have to try it he supposed.

Usagi to Kami was shaky at best, abysmal at worse but soon Nagi was no longer crying and instead bouncing. Clapping her hands frantically and giggling as she listened to him and what was a god awful rendition of a famous song. Nagi was grinning too, her brown eyes wide and full of adoration as she stared at him and, in turn, his confidence grew as he sang song after song. Singing until he began to choke and she started to cry again. She was hiccuping every single sob as Taiga felt his throat burn.

He wanted to continue to sing if only to save his ears and make his baby sister happy again. He was unable to because he lacked something. He lacked a technique for it he supposed.

He was going to get up again one day and show his sister what it was about.

#

The next day in school, Taiga was genuinely interested when they sang in lesson. It wad the only time he was present the whole day mentally. During Japanese he had zoned out and began to dream a dream, something so far off and something so sweet. In maths, he did the work and tried to fall asleep since his parents refused to hear his thoughts about Nagi and music. And now, in music he was wide awake and eager.

They did beat games the teacher called it. Stomping and clapping to the beat of a song.

Taiga did it well, better than well with all the praise he received, so he dared to ask, ‘What’s a beat?’

His teacher was a kind old man. He was smart Taiga presumed. He knew many Japanese idioms and many folk tales and stories. He had a pair of thin wire glasses and frowns all around his mouth and eyes from when he smiled kindly at them all. He knew everything Taiga thought. He would be able to help, that was what Taiga assumed.

He didn’t.

Instead, he paused and a crease formed in his brow before he laughed a heart laugh. “Why? Do you like music Kotaki?” he asked instead.

Taiga paused, he mused it carefully (well as carefully as a sleep deprived five year old could) and when he had an answer his teacher waved him off.

“A beat is a beat, you just know it. Now let’s continue with the lesson,” his teacher explained and Taiga frowned.

The one day he cared about school, and he received no help? Why was that just his luck?

He shoved the thought to the back of his mind though. When he went home, he’d see those older children and asked them. People in the town were knowledgeable about music, different to those in the city where the only sounds were that of cars whizzing past or the obnoxious advertisem*nts on the big flashy billboards.

The town, the town was different. Music coated every street and it was all different. Largely of the same form admittedly, featuring talking so fast that it made Taiga dizzy and confused. Lost as he jerked his head back and forth when two people fought one another into microphones.

He didn’t watch that often since his ma dragged him away, guiding him by his hand back home. His pa did let him watch the events before he shook his wrist and sighed loudly and Taiga knew they had to go home.

But even in their, fairly, small house, Taiga heard music. The kitchen windows were always opened and the sound trickled in, his ma singing along softly when the song was heard repetitively as she washed dishes and he did his homework. His pa would play music softly whenever he woke up early to make pancakes for his ma (and to sneak some to Taiga). It was different to what was normally heard on the street. But like mental Taiga noted, it was what was normally on the street.

In reality, they had many different music styles that existed in the one town.

Taiga couldn’t differentiate them, but he knew someone. People. Who could and who would possibly help them like his parents did for them. All together like one little family.

#

Taiga’s grandparents were negligent. In fact, they were even more negligent now that Nagi was two and Taiga was five.

She was crying again. Shrieking in fact. Complete and utterly shrieking at the top of her lungs, screeching like a dying cat as their grandparents just let her.

He wanted to console her, he knew theoretically how to console her. But he wanted to be better and learn what a beat was. Learn was music was.

All in all, the commotion gave him time to sneak out of the front door, have it clatter behind him loudly and step onto the noisy streets.

It was strange admittedly, he had only walked around the town holding onto an adults hand (or trailing behind in his grandparents case). Everything looked the same, with drawings and art all along the walls and bright lights and signs saying ‘li-ve house.’ Whatever that meant!

It was bright and disorienting as he walked around and tried to follow the music. But with so many corners and so many alleys and so many diffrent songs, he was a little lost. Not too lost to want to curl up and cry, but lost enough he did get a little worried.

He thought he should turn back, but then he remembered Nagi and he stopped himself and headed forward. The town was only so big, surely he’d find his way to where he wanted... right?

And that’s what he kept telling himself until he reached the centre and sighed in relief.

“Taiga?” One of the workers from one of those li-ve houses called out as he entered the centre. He looked no older than Taiga’s grandparents in all honesty as he stopped his sweeping. “What are you doing here?”

“I was looking for someone...” he answered carefully. “I want to learn to sing.”

“To sing?” the worker repeated and Taiga nodded his head decisively.

“Nagi likes it when I sing. She stops crying. I want to make it so she never cries!”

The worker nodded and laughed slightly, “Cry-baby Nagi? Shocking I thought that kid would never stop crying... Well, who are you looking for? Maybe I can help you.”

“Someone to teach me music.”

“I know music.”

“You work at a li-ve house.”

“Live house,” the worker repeated as he placed down his brush. “People perform live music here.”

“They do?”

The worker hummed, “Of course they do. This town always has live music. Your ma... she'd kill me if I let you in to see. Maybe when you’re older and so is our little Nagi.”

Taiga wanted to ask if he promised. But he didn’t, but the worker understood his unspoken thought and chuckled to himself quietly.

“Now, what do you want to ask?” and the questions poured out.

#

Taiga was grounded after that. But they also no longer had visitations to his grandparents, which put a strain on the family as well as Taiga’s need to be around music. Eventually, his parents has realised that he would not stop when he lingered by CD stores or when they wasted half of the night speaking to the worker at the live house. His eyes wide with something akin to childlike wonder his parents thought.

And they were right with the countless arguments that they had when they thought he was asleep but loving music meant that he could hear it. He heard every sound, each one sounded so different and unique like the creaking of the second step to the right was different to the creaking of the tenth step in the middle. The soft crickets that were normally drowned out by the music blaring from the guitars and voices the rap battles (as he now knew what they were called) that travelled through the street. The whirring and whizzing of the vending machines his pa now frequented to placate Taiga who stomped his foot when his impromptu lessons were cancelled. His face all puffy and red and scrunched up but instead of crying like his baby sister, he was angry and irritated.

When his teacher originally asked if he liked music. He was unable to give an answer. But now, now he knew that he did. It was undeniable his love of music, which his sister shared oddly enough since their parents didn’t love it, and his natural passion and flair.

The way he just understood what a song was meant to be like and performed like. What it was meant to sound like. He got it instantly, even the older children (teenagers) remarked on it as they clapped for him when he performed in the centre of the town. His ma watching him with pursed lips and keeping Nagi close to her who kept reaching out for him. Kept stretching her tiny clammy hands and fighting their mother to break free from her hold, her grasp and reach out to Taiga who was performing – somewhat – more complex songs than his peers. Than children his age were doing at least anyway.

He wasn’t the best at it but he would force himself to be so long as he made Nagi smile and laugh and the music continued forever and ever. Even his baby sitters were people who were close and liked music now, a community that had truly welcomed in the Kotaki’s thanks to Taiga and ‘cry-baby’ Nagi’s love of the art. And forever more it would stay that way.

Chapter 4: I - 3

Chapter Text

Taiga was seven, he was seven when he could recall the first of many times, he would visit the hospital with Nagi. She was four, she used to be such a rambunctious and wide-eyed child bursting with energy like the sun. But, recently, she was much more irritable and her appetite growing smaller and smaller and soon, she paled. Not that she wasn’t pale to begin with, but she soon grew so white it was concerning to say the least.

Hospitals were awful he realised. Even if this was only a children’s hospital, everything echoed. From the sounds of the hospital beds rolling across the clean surface to the conversations that were hushed and quiet. Hissed out with every breath to the beeping of a heart monitor. It was nerve wracking, stressful even. And Taiga hated it.

He also hated the clean smell of the place. Not that he hated cleanliness, no, but more so that it was an overpowering smell of disinfectant that killed him from the inside out. That it was powerful and so strong that his nostrils burnt from the smell. It was suffocating and dizzying.

The lights were too bright too, but he was used to the world with natural sunlight from the performances on the street which were getting later and later. Sometimes, he would be able to do it until it began to grow dark before his mother walked out of their new house.

She still pursed her lips, still looked vaguely disappointed and uninterested in his music, but she made no comment. She had to accept that he and Nagi loved it.

Which was how they finally went to the hospital once Nagi got irritated at music, throwing one of her teddy bears as well as shutting the song off. She also swayed on her feet as she did so and began to yawn, which was once again strange since she never grew tired or weary unless there was now a melodic song or white noise. She was a restless thing who kept turning her nose up at her favourite foods and falling into a soft sleep.

The chairs were uncomfortable as he looked at the bright colours and drawings on the wall. Waiting. He hated that. He hated hospitals he decided. In that moment they were dreadful things that whilst they were meant to heal people were uncomfortable and awful.

“There they are,” their ma sighed in relief as Nagi was sniffling again in their pa’s hold. She was getting too big for him by now, but when she was needy, he wasn’t one to deny her. Especially because the town adored her and wouldn’t deny her it either.

“How was she?” their ma asked, meeting their dad halfway as Nagi pouted and pointed to her arm. “They took blood?”

“They need to run tests... they seem to think she anaemia.” Their pa answered and he turned his head.

“Anaemia?” Taiga asked quietly as his dad smiled a little, it was tiny as Nagi’s cries quietened, and she was sobbing softly.

“It’s a condition where the blood doesn’t get enough air,” their pa offered. “She’ll live though.”

“You’re my brave little girl, aren’t you?” their ma fawned over Nagi, the girl wriggling out of his dad’s hold, her soft ruddy hair falling over her eyes as her nose was bright red and so were her brown eyes.

“She was braver than me, I thought I was going to faint when the nurse brought out the needle,” his pa admitted, and their ma laughed. She truly laughed.

“Oh, Mizuto,” she sighed fondly, placing her hand over Nagi’s head in order to kiss her husband. It was disgusting Taiga realised as he shuddered watching that. “How long do we have to wait? I wanted to take Taiga to see some performance...”

“You? Take Taiga? To a performance?” his pa repeated and so did Taiga himself. The two of them raising their brows to stare at the woman.

“You told me to be more open...”

“I did, but, Aoi...” his ma hummed and his pa stopped. “I’m proud of you.”

“I’m proud of you too,” his ma returned as Nagi perked her head up.

“Me? Mama?” Nagi added, with a watery grin.

“I’m always proud of you, my heroic baby~~ I’m proud of your pa too and your brother. I’m proud of my family.”

And Taiga smiled a little, something swelled within his chest as he looked over at his ma and his baby sister with her pretty pink plaster and her crying ceased completely. He was at peace with everything.

#

Nagi did have anaemia.

It wasn’t a serious bout of the illness, but it was still bad enough for them to want to put her on medication even if she was only four. They were going to wait for her to get older and see if changing her diet would help to counteract the more negative effects of it.

It worked sometimes, but not all the time. She would have to live with it. And so would everyone else who worried whenever she jumped around Taiga when he did new performances. Each member of their town looking over her warily and prepared to catch her as she tried to dance to whatever song he wanted to sing to.

The good thing though was that she was no longer grouchy and liked music once more. And that Taiga was now traumatised from hospitals his parents could stop the bets on who would be sent there first, himself or Nagi. Whilst they knew it was Nagi now, they had all assumed (and rightly so) that Taiga would be in the hospital first for a stupid injury pertaining to his music love. Whether it was a sprained ankle or a broken fist or even an enflamed throat. It was something to do with his music they predicted. Of course, they were wrong, and Taiga spent the rest of his days being careful. Trying to be an example for his hyperactive sister.

“Taiga…” Nagi began softly, looking away from the TV. She was busy watching some TV show that ruined the remaining braincells of his as he worked away at some homework.

Immediately, he snapped his head up to look at Nagi who was staring at him. Waiting. “Yes, Nagi?”

“Do you… Do you think you could help me?” She smiled hesitantly, showing him one of her dolls that their mother had bought her when she exited the hospital.

“With?”

“I’m bored… It’s no fun playing by myself and you…” she paused what she said and shook her head, staring at her white trainers that were all muddied and stained. “It’s nothing.” She began, holding the edge of her shirt.

She seemed much smarter than he was at that age. She was speaking longer than most other people and seemed more confident in her words and her language. Like she knew what part of you to reach even if you would do whatever she wanted when she sent you a huge and big smile before she hugged you closely and tightly. Squeezing you like her stuffed rabbit (which had practically disintegrated over the years from how much Nagi adored the thing) or her cushion of the week.

She was a people person though her teachers reported that she was shy and awfully calm. Too calm they believed. They expected her to be more energetic considering they were from the town and who her brother was, and Taiga was known to be ‘rambunctious.’

Nagi was practically his opposite save their love of music though she never expressed it aloud. Though she never uttered the words ‘I love music.’ You could just tell. You could tell she did from how quiet the house became whenever Taiga worked on it in his room or spoke to their parents about music opportunities he was going to have at school (such as guitar). She was always so silent, he wanted to say it was deadly, but it was better than her screaming she was prone to doing.

“Come here,” he sighed, holding his arms out and even though he wasn’t much bigger or stronger than Nagi, he wanted to try and pick her up. She helped him by climbing his legs like a monkey once his hands secured themselves around her waist. “What’s with the sad face?”

“You’re busy. So is mama and papa.”

“Busy?”

“You’re always at ‘chool and…” she looked over at his little microphone set in the corner and Taiga realised it.

He had prioritised music over his baby sister! His sister he was meant to protect and love, his sister who had even gotten him down that treacherous and loud path…

“Nagi…” he began softly as the girl began to cry softly. “I’m sorry, why don’t you tell me you want to play? We can play whenever!”

“We can…?”

“Of course,” he promised, and he knew that was a lie more so than anything but her tears stopped falling and she grinned.

“Yay!” she smiled, slipping off his lap and Taiga followed. She didn’t even need to tug him since Kotaki Taiga was always going to chase and tread behind Kotaki Nagi.

That was how the Kotaki siblings were, especially as they grew older. Like when- That was for another time…

Regardless, the Kotaki siblings were always that way. Nagi would mention something, and Taiga would move heaven and earth and hell to get it for her and achieve it for her. If she wanted to play dolls with Taiga, he would give up and play dolls with her as she forced him to play it perfectly. Laughing the whole while and it was like they were back to normal. Back to nothing else in the world.

And she was happy, no longer pouting or being upset about her diet and the way her snack intake had to decrease and Taiga’s didn’t.

(He would avoid eating them around her, but he was only seven, he wasn’t perfect nor was he too old to not want to do so. He would eat whatever he wanted to recover after his lessons that made Nagi smile gleefully.)

They forgot about everything, and they were young. They were them and getting along perfectly well and without music. They were simply siblings. Nothing more, nothing less and not siblings that were famed and adored by everyone. In the house, there was no 'cry-baby' Nagi, only Nagi the brat. There was no temperamental Kotaki Taiga, there was only Taiga the worlds bestest big brother - according to Nagi at least which meant it was God given truth - and nothing more and nothing less. And that was fine to them and, when he looked back on it, Taiga would miss the simple times before he transferred school and Nagi fell head first into music.

Chapter 5: I - 4

Chapter Text

When he was eight, they transferred schools and Taiga was the new kid. Not that he didn’t know the people, he knew of his peers considering they sent him to a school close to the town and they all naturally had migrated there when they were younger. This was unlike Taiga considering his parents never really considered themselves apart of the town until Taiga began to sing and they had to accept it and the town them.

Now, they had fully integrated into it.

The first day of school wasn’t the worst thing, the only bad thing was being sat next to another boy like him called Shiraishi Ken.

Ken was aggravating at best, made everyone want to commit suicide at worse as he messed around and did whatever he wanted. He never cared about anything, Taiga learnt, and made it everyone else’s problem as he sat back on the chair and tried to launch scrunched up paper into the bin the furthest corner of the room.

Taiga didn’t care about anything, but he at least was respectful enough to not distract anyone else or make it their issues. He just simply kept it to himself and did what he needed to do or he fell asleep hidden behind a book and was woken up by the teacher scolding him. Taiga had some amount of respect but Ken… Ken didn’t with his shaggy brown hair and laid-back grin.

Ken was someone that Taiga was never going to see eye to eye with and he didn’t particularly want to. He just simply ignored Ken as much as he could even though the teacher thought they would be such good friends.

Ridiculous.

When lunch came around, Taiga was glad. He could finally breathe and get away from Ken and sit on his own as everyone rushed over to Ken and fawned over him. Particularly small girls who kept fanning themselves and offering him some of their food as he played whatever sport he wanted to do.

Taiga was going to smash his head in.

So, he left and found somewhere quiet so he could calm his temper as to not disappoint his parents or Nagi because she would say something to him. She would be disappointed in him considering she promoted friendship and the like and strongly admired him.

The pains of being an older brother.

Taiga sighed as he sat alone and began to rehearse music for his lessons after school since he was greatly improving rapidly. Since he was doing well and he was going to learn how to truly utilise his mix voice and-

“Sorry!” Ken called out as Taiga had to dodge a football coming at him at super fast speed. “I don’t know my own strength sometimes,” the boy laughed as he raced to where Taiga was and took possession of the ball from near him.

Taiga gritted his teeth as Ken kicked the ball back at his friends. He said nothing more to the brunette who removed his sun glasses to look at him.

“We cool?”

Taiga hummed non-committally as he rolled his eyes at Ken mentally.

“Okay...” the other boy continued. “See you later!” He finished before racing up and away to join the football match again though he wasn’t passionate about it Taiga realised.

But it wasn’t his place to be nosy and care. Ken was simply someone who he sat next to and tried to murder him with a football. There would be nothing more to their relationship Taiga was certain and he wanted it to stay that way.

#

Ken tried to get closer to him. He kept trying to speak to Taiga during biology where they were learning about plants. And whilst it was boring as anything, Taiga had to feign interest in order to not speak to Ken or be labelled as rambunctious. Again.

“So, you like to sing,” Ken began again once their teacher forced them into group work.

“And?”

“I didn’t mean anythin’ by it. ‘ts cool and all,” Ken continued. “Everyone likes music here though.”

“Tha’ supposed to mean something,” Taiga continued defensively as he labelled the stupid drawing of a sunflower.

“You’re defensive. Why don’t you chill? Music clearly makes you all up tight.”

Taiga sent him a sharp glare and Ken didn’t falter as he removed his sunglasses from the top of his head onto the table. He rested his face in the palm of his hand. Taiga didn’t believe that Ken was intentionally trying to piss him off, but he was just so...

There was something so aggravating about him that naturally pissed Taiga off (and ‘pissed’ was the only word that Taiga could conjure to describe him even if his parents didn’t want him to know any swears). That naturally raised his blood pressure just a little.

“Can we do the work?” Taiga huffed and Ken relented, leaning back on his chair, tipping it slightly, resting his hands behind his head.

“You can do the work,” Ken grinned and Taiga clenched his jaw.

This would be a long f*cking year.

Chapter 6: I - 5

Chapter Text

Taiga was in a foul mood after his first day which only soured upon hearing that the teenagers had detention and that the old man was sick. Not that he could exactly begrudge them, he could the teens not the old man, but he wasn’t exactly happy that his music lessons were cancelled which led to the blasting of music at such a high volume everyone wanted to die.

Everyone except Nagi.

Nagi, they realised almost belatedly, loved music. She loved anything that sounded like a melody similar to how she liked talking. She liked voices in general. Not necessarily people since she still cowered away and her shyness was amplified that evening since she too moved schools alongside Taiga. That was disruptive for her. She had barely gotten settled into her old school and now she had to redo it? Needless to say no one in that house, hell, the street even, got any type of sleep thanks to Nagi’s cries and protests.

She calmed down by four in the morning and Taiga had to lull her to sleep with a song and there she was, asleep. It was a normal thing for music to lull her to sleep, but it was only Taiga’s voice. Only he could reduce her to sleep.

And her anaemia but that wasn’t something she could control per say.

Regardless, Nagi loved music. Without a shadow of a doubt, whenever Taiga experiemented with new music or played anything from Bach to famous rappers to Hungarian artists, Nagi’s feet would pad softly along the floor. The floorboards creaking constantly as she lingered outside the door, listening in on Taiga and thr music easily before she ran whenever she felt she was going to be discovered. She already had been, but Taiga didn’t care to highlight it and (likely) embarass her considering she didn’t want any of them to know.

She did a poor job of it. She would hum the songs quietly as she played with her dolls. She would move her head to follow along with the families conversations about music like she was watching a tennis match. She would smile cheekily to herself whenever Taiga suggested certain songs. She was an awful liar they realised.

But they loved her for it.

Which, was why it should’ve come as no surprise when she lingered by his door hesitantly. This time his door was wide open, when it was closed it meant he was in a good mood because Taiga enjoyed his privacy the most. He was unconventional in that way they all supposed.

He looked up from his bed where he was writing in some notes of how to sing, the floor covered in old T-shirts and ripped music drafts that were too had for him.

Nagi made no move and looked at him hesitantly. Tucking her hair behind her ears as she bit her lip and played with the edge of her shirt.

Taiga sighed and closed the book over before moving over to give her a little space to join him on his bed. Pressing himself into the wall and avoiding the windowsill that would dig into his head so she knew she could join him and lay down like him on her stomach.

Gleefully, Nagi took it as she walked through the pile of clothes on the floor and tried, and struggled, to climb onto his bed for a while. Taiga did try to help her, but she woukd glare up at him, call him names and insist she could do it. Well, she wasn’t wrong really, was she? She had done it eventually, she just needed time and he needed to be patient.

“You’re such a brat...” Taiga breathed out softly as Nagi copied his position exactly.

“I’m not a brat!” she exclaimed and her eyes begsn to water softly. “You’re so mean!”

“I’m not.”

Nagi frowned like she didn’t believe it before she huffed dramatically clearly not amused by the turn of conversation. She did it repeatedly in fact until Taiga got fed up and had to ask, “What did you want?”

She grinned at that, perked up even and sat up in a sitting position, smiling at him and he felt scared. Not that he thought Nagi was scary or could do anything, but there was a little seed of doubt in his mind when he looked over at her.

She flicked her hair back (an attempt to seem older possibly) and stared at him with the biggest and brightest brown eyes ever. “Could you teach me music?” she asked sweetly, tugging on her hair and pouting a little. Large puppy dog eyes staring at him. Pleading with him almost.

Taiga sighed and sat up too. He was taller than her by a lot, but then again she was only five the height gap was to be expected, as she craned her neck to look at him. She didn’t remove the eye contact as Taiga thought of what to say.

Was it good for her with anaemia? Was it good for her health? Could she cope with the being around people and people being around her?

Taiga didn’t know. But clearly she thought she was ready, clearly she had thought long and hard on it if she was finally desperate enough to enter his room regardless of his mood. Regardless of how brooding he was, she was determined to get what she wanted and had entered his room because she could. Because she knew he would do anything to make her smile. She just needed the faith.

“I’ll teach you,” he sighed and Nagi clapped her hand before launching herself at him, choking him tightly in her excitement.

He laughed a little and returned her over eager hug with less excitement and strength, but enough she couldn’t deny his presence and happiness for it.

“You’re the best!” she squealed as she pulled away. And Taiga knew he had made the right decision even if he didn’t want to accept it. “Can we start now? Please, please, please, please~~” she pleaded, sitting on her knees and trying to tower above him.

“Later.”

“When?”

“Later.”

“Taiga....”

“Nagi.”

She pulled out her bottom lip and it began to quiver. Her eyes began to water and shake as she looked over at Taiga and stared at him intensely and she forced herself to sniffle multiple times. Taking deeper sniffs each time. And soon, her body began to deflate and Taiga knew, he just knew she was going to start sobbing

How she had anaemia and enough energy for that sh*t no one had clue. But she did and Taiga, Taiga was a fool and he wanted to share his passions too admittedly considering she liked them too.

“No crying,” he huffed as he moved to slid off the bed. And Nagi stopped in her tracks and followed on, hovering by his dresser as he turned off his CD player and he heard his ma’s sigh of relief.

“Firstly, I’m going to teach you what a beat is-“

“But I want to sing!” Nagi huffed and stomped her foot on the ground.

“You can sing. Once you learn what a beat is,” Taiga insisted easily. Picking up his shirts and throwing them onto his beat to give her enough space.

Nagi rolled her eyes and Taiga had to bite back a remark to her because he’d get in trouble when she was being a brat as per usual. It would be a long, long time teaching her.

#

Nagi was tired by the end of the training, her eyes closing at the dinner table as she tried to process all the information and fight her natural want to rest. She wasn’t like Taiga, she took in less air than him so naturally tired out easier. But she wanted to be like him. She wanted to do everything the exact way he did it. She wanted to learn like him. She truly did admire him and it was satisfying and scary.

Satisfying because there he was being a good older brother. He was making his parents proud presumably with his actions of taking care of her. Of being someone she could look up to and want to follow in the footsteps of. Even if there were major differences – she still admired him regardless.

Scary because she could turn out like him. Outgoing, aggressive, moody (according to his ma at least), reckless and someone who didn’t care about school. Right now, she was none of those things. She did well in school and her lessons, she was top of her class even, she was not outgoing in the slightest nor was she aggressive. She could be considered moody, hut she was simply emotional as irritating as it became over time. That was just Nagi from the day – well close enough to the day – she was born, she would just cry and that was that. That was a fact like the sky was blue and grass was green.

His parent’s seemed amused by the siblings and their actions havinf gradually warmed up to music once they got closer to the town. Though, their ma seemed a little worried for Nagi as she tried to eat her seafood.

“So, Nagi, what have you learnt today outside of music with Taiga?” their pa asked in between a bite of sushi.

The girl shrugged. She looked at the floor and stayed looking their and at her plate. She wasn’t wholly at ease with their parents.

“I don’t know...” she whispered quietly.

“That’s fine,” their pa smiled. “So what did you learn with Taiga?”

“What a beat was and a rhythm and yeah! Taiga said he’d teach me more later!” she grinned happily, and her energy came back at the thought of music.

“He did now, did he?” their ma asked, humming slightly. “Then, he needs to do well in school to be able to teach his baby sister, no?”

Their pa sent her a withering look but she only smiled at them and Taiga knew. It would be a long life of teaching Nagi music.

Chapter 7: I - 6

Chapter Text

Taiga was nervous as he waited with the live house worker. Waiting with bated breath for Nagi’s first performance in the chaos of the street that was gradually stopping. The calm in his currently hectic and messy life.

He had to admit that, by this point, life was simply just life. And whilst it was going relatively well, there were some issues. Nagi’s anemia was still present and his fear of overworking her as he taught her music was there. Coupled with the stress lines he had to suffer with during school about how he and Ken were never going to be friends....

Taiga was stressed and needed to relax a little and music, and watching his baby sister, was that way because it emptied his mind of school.

And he needed that now that they were learning English in school and, whilst Taiga took to it instantly. (Or as the English speaking countries said, ‘Like a fish to water.’) Ken too took to English naturally too and that sparked a little, scratch that, major competition between them.

Both of them were awful at other subjects. But this, this they were good at naturally. This they didn’t have to force themselves to be good at and they just picked up the unconventional grammar and actions. They understood it perfectly well. They were not fluent in the language, he didn’t think they would be but they were certainly rivals. Racing to complete the worksheets and give the answers because they were awfully at everything but this. This one subject they were good at and they had competition with the other person like them.

It irritated Taiga. Because Taiga at least tried a bit. He did the homework, he turned up relatively on time (it wasn’t his fault Nagi nearly collapsed on the way to school three times because of her anaemia) and he tried a bit. Not at lot because he could’ve been getting higher than barely a pass. But he didn’t exactly want to. It wasn’t for him to try. He would try if he gave a sh*t.

Unlike Ken who never tried and seemed to pick up on Taiga’s one sided distaste and wanted to piss him off more. And then, then they were rivals. Not that it pushed either one of them to better themselves in anything save English, but they were officially rivals. Staring at one another with disinterested faces, sending kicks to one another under the table, making snide comments to their new friends and whatever else they did that teetered the lines of bullying without crossing them exactly.

So whilst his school life was going to sh*t. His personal life with music and Nagi was going better even if he was still stressing and worrying about her. It was much better... to a degree.

She was still a climber in those short two months. Clinging to him like a tree and scaling her way up his legs and bodies, singing or screeching or talking loudly in his ear as he tried to not fall. This would prompt her long and personal insults when she would bully him relentless and tease him like the true brat she was and it pissed him off. She was confident though thankfully.

Only to family though which made her first street performance so nerve wracking. Their parents they were on a date night that night, something about needing time to themselves to love one another again. Or, at least, how to learn to love one another again the street said under their breath, in hushed whispers when the family walked by and they believed – certain even – that none of them could hear them. But Taiga could and he always spoke loudly to block out Nagi’s ears since he believed she could hear too. That with her natural inclination to music, she understood what he did. She would hear the words and the soft padding of feet like him and she grew quieter too. She was more mindful of where she was and shrunk into herself as the live house worker babysat them.

It was strange seeing her shrink into herself and not ask about music or singing. Though, she wanted to with how she heard something and glanced at Taiga but stopped once she realised he was listening to the worker or the music itself.

And, admittedly, he wasn’t paying attention to her. Not because he didn’t want to, but because he wanted to learn how to teach her better because he was young and he wholeheartedly believed that she was an amazing singer. That she was better than people gave her credit for. It was a fact and he, he was great just not Nagi great. Plus, he lesrnt through research at the library one day when the rain began to pour, that female and males had different ranges.

Well, not exactly puberty was a thing it said and the breathing techniques add on and accounting for nstural accent and dialect and everything. There were countless differences that Taiga was unable to account for to help Nagi reach her true potential. Even his own lack of experience would hinder Nagi. He needed the advice.

And that advice led to Nagi stood on the street, her body shaking as she stared at him with wide eyes. People hesitating as they walked past to stare at the young girl, the exceptionally young girl, holding her microphone a little too tight and a little too close to her mouth. Her knees buckling beneath her as she refrained from falling to the ground and cutting her knees and her black tights.

She played with the ends of her reddish-brown hair and kept trying to glare at him before stopping when she remembered she was in public as he ran around setting up the music. She was very scared, but it was natural. Taiga remembered his first performance and the anxiety which was worse for Nagi because she was naturally shy and anxious. He was scared for her too because he had bigged her up to worker and if she wasn’t able to perform well...

It wouldn’t do good to think like that. He needed to believe in her simply because she believed in him and, in this world, they really only had each other.

She could do and she would. She just needed to stay calm and not over exert herself.

#

Taiga was certain the whole town came to watch Nagi’s performance by the time she reached the second song. She had realised it too as her words grew shaky and her voice quieter, her gaze avoiding the crowd of people who wanted to support her and cheer her on.

She did it though, she made it through even if she practically collapsed by the end and her breathing was harsh. Sucking in as much air as she could as the mic sat next to her on the floor with Taiga by her side rubbing soothing circles on her shoulders, people coming up to compliment her.

“You sing like a grown woman!”

“You have a natural talent and aura for this! I would love to see you perform again!”

“You were amazing! I wish my daughter was half as talented as you!”

Then there was the critiques and help which Taiga had to accept on her behalf, taking out a new notebook he had his ma purchase on his behalf. It was one like his own black one, but in pink instead (which Nagi frowned and turned her nose up at) and full of different pages. Some of them were lined and others had music sheets in case she wanted to learn an instrument or write her own music like she did stories. There were some random blank pages that were loose since Taiga used blank pages to visualise things, his ma presumed Nagi might too. But no one knew how the five year old rationalised anything. It was better to he safe than sorry, and to be safe, Taiga wrote in the help.

Nagi heard them and tried to understand, holding onto the back of his jacket and nodding into it softly. She would repeat the words to herself quietly and try to listen to them. How to project and not get so nervous and stressed around them. She took it all in stride, but her fingers clenched around Taiga’s jacket just a little tighter each time and her brown eyes shook with fear a little more each time. But she kept a straight face as she cowered behind him and by the end, she had cracked a smile to one person who said she would have to embellish her performances. It wasn’t much, but it was a little bit of progress and Taiga was full of pride.

He was so happy in fact, he waited up super late for his parents to get home to tell them about it with a large grin on his face. Rambling on constantly about what a good little sister she was and the likes. And how proud he was of her. He couldn’t stop and soon, soon it was midnight and he was still at the table talking as his ma made them all a little late night snack. Even she too was smiling a little from his enthusiasm and her pride with Nagi and his pa, well he was basically asleep but he engaged the conversation nonetheless and smiled often even if he was closing his eyes.

But Taiga, Taiga had a feeling, an inkling, that they already knew what he was telling them. Like someone else had gotten to them first because they hardly seemed shocked. They seemed like they expected it in all honesty.

But Taiga wouldn’t begrudge them over that. He wanted to express his pride over Nagi and wanted his parents to feel it too.

He didn’t know the whole town fell asleep that night feeling the same giddiness and the same satisfaction as he did. And he didn’t know that the town had unanimously decided to look after her as their own child in their own families. He was unaware that it wasn’t just him who would protect her but so many more people that their happiness was second to that of the scared and sick child.

And he wouldn’t learn that for a long, long time. He wouldn’t cherish it for a long, long time.

Chapter 8: I - 7

Chapter Text

Nagi had done more performances over time and grew braver with people as the years passed and soon, soon it was no longer up to Taiga to write in the little pink book that she always complained about until she got a new one in dark green. Which, admittedly, wasn’t actually a book but more so a thin folder with different sheets of paper in that she could use at her will which she did since she was learning so many instruments for free from the town.

Each person passing her a new thing and soon, soon she began to compose songs working late into the night at her creaky desk, humming a new melody as Taiga dropped her off to school. Singing new lyrics as they greeted every person who called out to her since she was still, and always would be, a cry-baby. Making sure she was okay. Making sure she was loved enough since their parent’s frustration was only growing with their love of music and how little effort they put into anything else. Not that Nagi was failing anything, Taiga was, but Nagi still kept amazing grades and was well recognised in her school for her achievements even if she was a loner. Every person faking liking her in order to get closer to Taiga because they had a huge crush on him and he was a total heartthrob.

It pissed Nagi off a little as she was now eight, pouting and stomping her foot as she went through friend after friend, being truly alone save himself and the town.

Hence why she was on this date with him.

“So, you like Taiga?” she asked nosily, kicking her legs out as she looked at Taiga’s date expectantly.

Taiga clicked his teeth together and pushed her shoulder slightly. “Nagi…”

“What? I mean, am I not allowed to know?” she asked innocently enough but her teasing tone and the way she kept staring at Taiga’s – potential – girlfriend meant that she was not being innocent. She was being a menace to society.

You asked her to give a public speech and she would start sobbing and screeching. Her brown eyes would fill with tears and her voice was shake and be wavering, missing her signature Nagi teasing lilt that Taiga had grown accustomed too. That contradicted the idea of ‘cry-baby’ Nagi that the town all knew. It contradicted the belief that she was a shrimp. That she was everything that was typically negative and associated to people with social anxiety. You tell her to face her fears and you would miss out on the real Nagi.

This Nagi that was eating her ice cream with a sh*t eating grin and a knowing look that if their parent’s found out, Taiga would be killed alive and skinned to be a decorative piece. He would have to buy her that one doll she wanted if only to guarantee her silence. But that would not guarantee her not being a brat.

“It’s fine,” the girl insisted, smiling at Nagi. “She’s cute! There’s no problems with me answering her.” and Taiga rolled his eyes whilst Nagi stuck her tongue out at him.

“So…”

“Emiko.”

“Emiko, do you like my brother?”

“I think he’s cute,” Emiko grinned as she rested her head on Taiga’s shoulder and he had to fight himself from physically recoiling. That was too much affection for the first date, brushing hands against one another had to be enough, right?

“Him? Cute?” Nagi repeated widening her eyes and scrutinising Taiga. “Maybe if his opponent was like a blobfish.”

“The fu- frig is a blob fish?” Taiga repeated, stopping himself from swearing as Nagi grinned even more. Her ice cream forgotten about entirely, landing in the bin next to her as she turned to stare at him.

“Personally, I find them to be cute,” Emiko smiled passive aggressively and Taiga disliked her even more.

“Of course, you do,” Nagi sighed, sliding further over on the bench.

Emiko rolled her eyes and turned to look up at Taiga. “So, where else are we off to for this date?”

“I thought we could just… wait here,” Taiga began as he watched a friendly rival begin to set up for a performance. He waved over at them as they looked to Emiko and raised a brow quizzically, staring her up and down. Judging her harshly considering she was not anything that Taiga would like.

“Wait? Why? What’s so interesting in waiting?” Emiko huffed, turning her nose up at the idea.

“Graffiti,” Taiga supplied easily, and Emiko pulled an even worse face.

“Music,” Nagi continued once she saw the opportunity. “And fun and family. In fact, we should ask if Ren would let you two sing a duet to introduce you to the community.”

“I should be introduced enough…”

Nagi laughed a little. “I believe you believe that.”

“Nagi…” Taiga chided lightly and Nagi closed her mouth. “She’s not really wrong though. This town is united by music.”

“Like classical? Pop?”

“Rap and street,” Taiga supplied, and Emiko closed her mouth.

“Oh…”

“Oh indeed,” Nagi repeated before she shyly waved over to the people walking past. The ramen shop worker namely as they all slowed their pace to watch the Kotaki’s with the random girl who was insanely clingy to Taiga.

They looked like they were going to say something, but Ren interrupted them, and they turned to the young boy’s performance to support him or to insult him. It was never consistent the town and their opinions. It was really only Nagi who received constant and overwhelming support and Taiga would not begrudge his little sister for that. She deserved it and it made him strive to be better. That he wanted to not rival her, but to be able to stand on the same stage as her. To make people feel half of the emotions they felt when they listened to her. He worked hard for this and he would continue to do so even if Ken never understood it and made sly comments under his breath. Even if the school and Emiko couldn’t feign an interest in the talent of the home, Taiga would prove them wrong. He had to.

#

“So, your date was…interesting,” Nagi began when they were back home, Nagi laying on the floor of Taiga’s room.

“It was.”

“I was talking about Emiko.”

“She was?”

Nagi hummed. “She’s very pretty, I mean, she had really nice eyes.”

“I knew that,” Taiga protested as he looked up from his English homework.

(He would kill himself next time he had to write an essay talking about Romeo and Juliet. Seriously love was an awful thing why did they kill themselves? He knew fate had something to do with it but suicide? Really? Love was an awful thing).

“Did you? What colour were her eyes then?”

“Green.”

“What kind of green?” Nagi continued prodding, closing her ring binder folder and tapping her fingers impatiently against it. “Come on, it’s not that hard~~~ I thought you were older and smarter you should know this~~”

“I really regret getting you into music…” Taiga grumbled and Nagi giggled.

“You don’t! You love that we can bond over something,” Nagi insisted easily.

“I did until you got an attitude and started giving me one.”

“I always had an attitude!”

“Your most charming and appealing quality.”

Nagi scrunched her nose before she began to sit up. “But genuinely, did you actually like her? Did you truly love her?”

“We’re too young for love…”

“Not really,” Nagi continued. “Genuinely, what did you like about her?”

“She was pretty.”

“And?”

“And…” Taiga trailed off lost in thought. What did he like about her?

“So, you don’t like her?” Nagi supplied instantly, sitting up and rubbing her head a little.

“I don’t dislike her. She’s just Emiko. Everyone likes her in the school.”

“But you.”

“Stop being invested in my love life,” Taiga huffed, leaning over to shove his foot in her face and Nagi recoiled.

“Then stop lying to yourself,” Nagi countered. “You’re lying to that girl too. You don’t lie to yourself that you want to succeed in music with me. That you love it a lot. Why lie about liking someone? Isn’t that crueller?”

Taiga scoffed. “When did you get so wise?”

“Since I officiated Yuki’s wedding at break the other day.”

“No getting married at break,” Taiga warned her and Nagi hummed thoughtfully. “Nagi…”

“Yes?”

“No. Getting. Married. At. Break.” He gritted out and Nagi hummed before she started to laugh again, keeling over.

“I won’t, I promise. I’m married to music. Besides…” Nagi trailed off thoughtfully. “I don’t get people and their romantic lives. I don’t get love and kissing. Mum and dad are so…” she shuddered in disgust and Taiga had no clue if it was real or fake disgust.

“Good, no dating until you’re forty,” Taiga insisted.

“Forty!?”

“Yep.”

“That’s hardly fair?!”

“It is because I said so,” Taiga rolled his eyes. “You’re too young.”

“You’re like four years older than me…”

“Older.”

“I’ll tell mum.”

“I’d love to see you tr- Nagi! Don’t you dare!” He called out, chasing after the girl who bounced up speedily and rushed into the hallway.

He was f*cked.

Chapter 9: I - 8

Chapter Text

Taiga had broken whatever he had with Emiko off. He couldn’t look her in the eye after his conversation with Nagi just knowing he could never reciprocate what she needed him to.

He didn’t know why, he just knew that she simply was a attractive but he felt nothing more and any time she tried to act like a doting girlfriend – and she tried – a wave of nausea would hit him in his stomach and he wanted to die. He would tense up, pull a face and fight off his urge to run as her claws, nails, dug into his shoulders.

He tried to let her down lightly, tried to not give her any hopes but that had entirely failed and the whole school hated him even if some people did find him reasonably attractive. Whatever it was, he was practically alone in the school and Ken, Ken got to reap those benefits.

He got to take all the girls that fawned over him, slinging their arms around his neck and nuzzling his cheek, sending sharp glares to Taiga as he walked past for offending their best friend. Which was fine, Taiga didn’t exist to be a popular person he simply was true to himself because he always had been. Even as a child, he was true to himself when the town were hesitant and wary of the Kotaki’s or even when his parents were wary of music too disliking it gravely. He still stayed true to himself and now he was a great singer, rapper and could play guitar. He could probably do much more if he applied himself and stopped pretending to be goofy and aloof since he really wasn’t when it came to music. But it was easier to make everything seem like a joke and not that important because then no one could use it as evidence. No one could use it as a way of making a joke and bullying him for it.

Not that he wouldn’t give it back ten times harder, but he was always good to stay on guard. Forcing an easy grin on his face as he styled his brown hair making it seem natural, but nothing in this world was natural.

Except his f*cking hatred towards Shiraishi Ken.

Just saying the name ‘Ken’ in general elevated Taiga’s blood pressure. You could be talking about barbie and saying how you needed a Ken doll and Taiga would clench his jaw and his fists and feel the anger rush and course through his body. You may know another Ken, a special Ken, and he would still have to fight the urge to not punch someone in the face. Sock them in the jaw even.

He was so aggravating. He was charming, arrogant, self-absorbed, entitled, co*cky, smarmy, stupid, idiotic, a free loader, a waste of air, a waste of time-

He was a lot of things all of them negative save the charming and that he was mildly attractive and handsome which Taiga could agree with. He was very f*cking attractive but, he was a bastard at the end of the day and Taiga loathed him. He hated him but Nagi thought that was a strong word whenever he ranted on about Ken at home or at the live houses or on the streets or to his few friends or-

He talked about Ken a lot admittedly. It was embarrassing and shameful according to Nagi, but she was always a kind person. As much as she was a brat and a tormentor, teasing and prodding at Taiga making jokes at his expense, Nagi was a kind person at heart. She always greeted everyone and smiled at them, she had gotten better at speaking to them, and laughing with them. She always handed out gifts or thing she knew they wanted and what they liked whenever it appeared in her mind, and she remembered it all. Logging it carefully in her mind.

She remembered a lot truthfully; she remembered every whispered and angry insult that Taiga spewed about Ken. Bitter and full of hatred. She remembered every little tip and trick. She never forgot a thing. She was simply too kind. Immortalising each fact she knew of the people and loving them the way they loved her.

All of them except Ken because the loyalty of siblings was thicker than anything else. And she had never seen Ken, always disappearing and sneaking off when she spotted the brunette and his rambunctious group of friends. She was like a spy almost, a ninja maybe, that she would disappear silently and no one would ever find her again. No one could track her and, for once, she was practically silent.

Now, back to Ken.

Taiga was temperamental, everyone said that his ruddy hair matched his temper. He acted impulsively and without thinking, never contemplating anything or the consequences of his actions. He just did what he had to do and that was fine.

If his brain said to jump off a cliff. He would jump off the cliff. If Nagi said she wanted to learn ballet (she didn’t, she was getting too dizzy as time went on and her body needed more time to rest up), he would move heaven and earth to get her what she needed to do ballet. Searching out for the best ballet teacher in Tokyo, hell, all of Japan. He would simply do whatever it took because that was what happened and that was how his brain worked.

The impulsivity and his hatred of Ken meant that Taiga could and would do stupid things around the boy. From all of the name calling to the silent treatment whenever Ken toed the line a little too much, Taiga was reckless around Ken.

The recklessness led to one of Taiga’s biggest mistake.

Or so he thought.

It was late, it was always late when he practiced as he got older. His parents trusted the town more and more to keep him and Nagi safe, but unlike Nagi, they had realised that Taiga only attended school because it was legally mandatory. And, to be quite frank, Taiga believed he didn’t need it. But Nagi, she cared for her education. She liked school somehow and for as much as the siblings were alike, things like that reminded everyone that they were not clones of one another.

Regardless, it was late, and the moon was out. Shining and Taiga had been experimenting recently with new songs, because why wouldn’t he? Staying in one box, one niche was damaging and reckless to his career as a music artist. He would be secure in something, but he wouldn’t be as good as he needed to be.

It was a slow song, not a personal song but close enough with all the changes he made. It was a love song. Soft and wanting. He felt like his voice had too much power for it, it was too strong to convey the want that coated the song.

City pop was difficult to sing but it was a type that did exist in their precious little town. Their creative little hub and bubble of music.

He wasn’t confident, but he had to be. He knew he had to as he clicked his fingers together, tapping the microphone and soon, the song was ending. He knew it was ending and he believed he did well, ‘I’m in love,’ was not the hardest thing to ever do admittedly. But it was hard for him because grasping those feelings was difficult.

He really only loved his parents, Nagi and music. Grasping a romantic love… those feelings were distant and dulled. They were hard to tap into which made the song and the singing – arguably – worse than before but it was good. It was different and Ken.

Ken ignored it. Cold indifference as he did God knows what with his friends.

If this were any other day, he would ignore it. He usually ignored the indifference from Ken who never mentioned music around Taiga after the one time he gave him a black eye and a busted nose. He never talked about music in a derogatory way. And Taiga could agree with that, music was simply off limit as his way to express himself, his bonding with Nagi and strengthening his relationship with the town because they always gossiped, and they looked down at violence. Which was alright, and Taiga could understand that because it was reasonable and he had done something wrong even if deep down, a little part of him believed that he deserved it whole heartedly.

But for trying something new. For being Taiga. It all had to culminate eventually like a snowball at the top of a mountain, getting bigger and bigger as it rolled down until it exploded, and Taiga had snapped. He had to snap eventually.

That eventually was that day.

“Oi! Ken!” he called out and the name sounded foreign on his tongue. It was angered and irritated his tone, but Ken formed a nasty acid in his mouth that burnt everything. It was sickening and disgusting, twisting and choking. Suffocating even.

The boy stopped and turned around. Bored. He was slouching, knocking down his sunglasses as he faced Taiga. He said nothing and made no movements.

Taiga hesitated for a moment and Ken scoffed, likely rolled his eyes but they were hidden by his dark sunglasses and turned around to his friends. Leading them away with their spray painting cans to do whatever destructive – creative and non-harming – thing they were going to do.

“Ken!” he repeated this time with more determination, a lack of hesitance and irritation as his vice. His guide.

It was like he was lost at sea, maybe space actually with all the glimmering stars. The twinkling and bright stars that shone down on him, illuminating his way as he chased after the sun. The biggest and bright star of all and it burnt. Ken and his disinterest burned. But he had to try, saying f*ck gravity and orbiting. He had to touch it even if it killed himself because that bastard had nothing he cared about in life. He had nothing to care about or fight for. To want to live each day instead he was a natural at everything and used everyone’s love for him to his advantage and it pissed him off. It really f*cking pissed him off.

How could you go through life and feel nothing for anything?

Simple, you didn’t. And Taiga needed to make Ken realise it. He needed to reach into whatever thing lingered in his chest because he doubted the bastard had a heart otherwise, he would have some passion, and rip it out. Making it feel something. Electrocute it again and again forcing it to beat with some emotion and care. With some feeling that was natural to feel but Ken was a bastard and had nothing.

He was irate.

He was angry and he was determined as he began his next song. Metal and rock weren’t his style, but his anger was too much to channel into something new and something that he could. Maybe when he calmed down and he could breathe again. When he had clearer thoughts and wasn’t dying to try and take a breath in and clinging to the microphone as a lifeline.

“Everything has gone away, I wanna feel your warmth,” it was slightly romantic he supposed, and Ken seemed taken aback. He had to make the bastard look. Appreciate something for once in his sh*tty pathetic life and he needed to reach for something and he had heard it, he knew it from Romeo and Juliet that the line between love and hate was so thin.

So thin it snapped with the slightest bit of pressure and when you hated someone, you practically loved them in a twisted way. In a sick and deranged way, you f*cking loved them and Taiga didn’t love Ken. He hated Ken but considering he was a fool, an idiot, he wouldn’t tell the difference between the intense blackening hatred he felt that was certainly killing him. But if he was going to die, if he was going to kill himself, he would take Ken down with him and that hatred. Burying them together in an unmarked grave, side by side maybe reaching out for one another as a way to fight to try and save themselves as they burned everything.

But there was no going back from what they had done. It was fate. Destiny and Taiga needed Ken to realise that.

And he had. He had halted. Taking in staggering breaths and staring at Taiga.

Hook. Line. And sinker.

He needed to keep this hatred alive, keep this attention, Ken who was finally staring at him. It felt so natural. But it had to be when what Taiga was feeling was true emotion, true hatred in his heart and this rivalry had existed for a long time. Older than time itself. Predicted with the dinosaurs. Predicted with Jesus Christ himself. This sh*t had been a long time coming and unleashing that rage, that emotion was something he needed.

It was cathartic. It was freeing and it was something the town had been anticipating as they exited their homes, their bars and clubs. Huddling together, whispering under their breath. The ones from the houses with balconies above holding torches to create an almost spotlight on Taiga. Focusing on him as he tried to reach out to Ken helplessly, pathetically almost. This had to be the end and Taiga would make it so.

And the song never stopped. The song of hatred never ended people creating a beat with their instruments up above and Taiga had to smile at them briefly as he made up lyrics and the vocal direction. He had to pray he understood music and the town. He understood how they composed, and, for a moment, they were all one. Cut from the same cloth and stitched together with the same thread so lovingly piercing their skin and their body to stop Taiga from drowning in the abyss of hatred only. Love entering the song and his heart. His feelings. The thin line having snapped and wavered. Frayed entirely as he hoped, begged, prayed even that there was something there.

Once the desperation set in. The hate was lost. So was the love and all there was was pain. An overwhelming unbearable amount as the town slowly dispersed, he was losing control. His grasp on his feelings and it felt nice. It was therapeutic and he practically crumpled, Nagi said something, racing towards him as he looked up at Ken.

The brunette said nothing. He moved forward before moving back. He hesitated. His hands twitching as if he wanted to reach out and save Taiga.

But the hatred that Taiga walked was not a one-way street. It never was at some point; Ken also treaded down that path. Past those familiar landmarks. Past those dimming streetlamps that guided him home when all he felt was anger and pain. That led him to where he had to be with bleary eyes and a heavy soul. Led in his shoes and his feet guiding his way into his bed and into Nagi’s arm. Into his parent’s arms. Into the warmth of his home with music his one true love. His one thing that he could never hate as much as he wanted to and begged because the pain, he had inflicted upon himself from this was too grave.

And yet, it was not music’s fault his voice was hoarse, and that Ken walked away once more. It was all Taiga’s, and he was drowning at sea, sweat pouring off him, his head lightheaded as Nagi fawned over him panicking. Calling out to people, the people that adored her to help him, adults racing over, his parents watching from afar and all Taiga could see was Ken’s retreating back and the fact that he had failed.

Chapter 10: I - 9

Chapter Text

Taiga’s voice hurt like a bitch the next day. He could barely say ‘mornin’ to Nagi without feeling like his throat would rip apart and he would continue to hack up blood in the bathroom. He felt like death itself had claimed him. It had not unfortunately, but it felt that way.

It was raining too which soured his mood even more considering that now he was forced to be inside with everyone staring at him warily. Every time he spoke, it was like he was opening a portal to hell and a demon was escaping. It was so raspy and broken and he had to try and speak to say that he was here but in reality, the longer he was at school he regretted not taking his mum’s offer for him to stay at home because he knew he could. He had been given the out, but he was stubborn.

He didn’t want to show any weakness to Ken as long as he lived.

Last night had been a desperate fluke. And it had to be seen as desperate because it excused his actions and lack of clarity. If he had been seen as sane and acting the way, he did…

Taiga would no longer be heartthrob number three to put it lightly.

Taiga was going insane tapping a song on the table with his pen as he tried to study physics, but the physics wasn’t… physicing. It was words on the page that Taiga wanted to understand, to attempt to do something that was progressive when he was unable to do his passion because any song he tried to sing or create, he would hum the words or begin drafting lyrics once he figured out the chords. That meant, music was off limits whilst he felt like that.

The door opened and Taiga fought the urge to turn back and look at it. It was a public library – in his school at least – for f*cks sake. People could come and go as they pleased, and he needed to not be so on… edge, which he was. He was tense and prepared to leap and jump, attempt to throw some insults at someone but his voice hurt like a bitch in order to convey them properly. Maybe he could write them out? But it would lack his signature bite. His easy-going personality in the way he threw the because the moment his voice dropped or took on a more serious timbre, everyone ran because Taiga was always so joking. So freely teasing when he was serious it meant he was serious.

The chair on his table was pulled out and placed in front of him was a packet of tablets as Taiga frowned.

“I heard,” Ken began, and Taiga visibly jumped, and he snapped his gaze up to look at the brunette. His sunglasses long gone and attached to his neck.

He seemed sincere Taiga thought, like whatever he was saying was genuine. Not that there was a way for Ken to be genuine, but he seemed it and Taiga was willing to listen so Nagi didn’t chastise him for not doing so because he was presumptuous.

“I heard that they’re really good lozenges for a sore throat in the industry,” Ken offered quietly, flashing a hesitant smile like he didn’t know if he was doing it right.

Taiga took them, he did dip his head as a way of saying ‘Thank you,’ nonverbally because his throat was precious and Ken… Ken wasn’t worth the pain. Ken wasn’t worth anything much really. He was simply a bug that Taiga couldn’t squash whether it was because he wouldn’t die or because everyone stared at them with irritation. He was unsure.

He tried.

But he failed each time. It was like the hate in his heard was no longer enough and he was weaker towards Ken. That there was something that stopped him.

Taiga looked at Ken pointedly as the brunette stayed sitting down. He looked hesitant and nervous, like there was something more he wanted to say but was unable to. Taiga was unable to prompt him, so he stared at him.

The tension between them was too confusing. Too much was hidden in the silent looks of Kotaki Taiga and Shiraishi Ken when one was at his weakest, unable to reply with anger but the other one was nervous. Ken being nervous had never happened, he was so arrogant and confident. Like he owed the earth and the world just simply bowed to him. Humility was not a word one could associate with Shiraishi Ken. Neither was timidness.

“How do you sing… like that?” Ken asked eventually, looking away from Taiga and off at some encyclopaedias. His voice so quiet he might not have spoke at all and Taiga would’ve thought he was going crazy. Ken? Caring about something? He hadn’t done that since Taiga moved schools and they sat next to one another. When the rivalry was petty and one sided. Something Taiga had began because he just didn’t like Ken’s attitude and his personality before it spiralled out of control, egged on by other students and teachers.

For that moment, with that question and Ken making sure to pronounce his words… there was an air of sincerity that could not be forgotten like he was dreaming.

Taiga shrugged before he looked around for a spare piece of paper.

“I brought some paper for this,” Ken began when Taiga stared at him as if he grew ten heads and passed him a large chunk of paper.

Taiga rolled his eyes but made nothing to make the situation go any further. He wrote what he needed to and turned the paper to Ken. He was clipped, not wanting to take the situation any further. Not wanting to let Ken in without good reason to believe him.

“I didn’t expect ye- I mean, you t’make it easy on me,” Ken sighed quietly. “I’m sorry for this feud. For continuing it foolishly and pettily. I know that everyone on the street says we should’ve stopped years ago, and we would’ve been a force to reckon with. I think it would be funny if we were.” He laughed quietly at that. “But…”

Taiga just stared at him as he trailed of. They knew what was said in the silence, words that would not ease the tension but instead made it thicker. Words that Taiga had thought about some nights as Nagi got more vocal about her disappointment.

Sometimes, she would voice that disappointment in a teasing tone (“Ah~~~ all you do is talk about Ken~~~~ you like~~~ him”) or just straight up disappointment and irritancy (“Again? Aren’t you all getting too old for this? I mean… it was just a bad first impression…”)

He hated making her disappointed. He hated making her upset and be the voice of reason, he was meant to be like that as the older sibling and not the other way around. He was meant to chide Nagi when she f*cked up (which she never did, she was too selfless for that) and not her chiding him for something so petty and being a petulant child.

Taiga took the olive branch Ken was offering in the silence and wrote something else before spinning the book back around to him.

“You want me to watch your sister?” Taiga nodded. “Isn’t she like dead good?” Taiga nodded again. “Can she help me?”

Taiga requested the paper. Maybe it was wrong to throw him into the deep end of singing with Nagi, teasing Nagi who would tease him relentlessly – as much as she was disappointed in Taiga for his choices in the bullying war, she was his sister, and their bond was stronger than anything heaven or earth could throw at them – maybe make him think that the people were lying. Gaslighting him until she took him down easily. But Ken, he needed to know what he was getting into without the desperation and irritation that clouded Taiga’s mind. He needed to know the actual passion that lied within them to pursue music.

“You make her seem like an utter prodigy.”

“She is,” Taiga breathed out defensively, staring at Ken with contempt as the boy flinched from the severity and brokenness of Taiga’s voice.

“I believe you,” Ken assured him, throwing up his hands in surrender. “So, should I wait for you?” Taiga nodded, jerking his head to the window across the room.

Ken nodded; he understood what Taiga was trying to convey by having them meet in that courtyard. It was discreet but the easiest way to the streets. The darker corners were more senior musicians played rather than the more amateur ones.

If Ken was serious about music, which Taiga doubted (but a little something in his heart told him to believe him, a little tiny bit) but went along with, if he was serious, he would need to know the intricacies of the street. That the town all came together with one thing in mind. Music and performance. Without that, there would be no Vivid Street. Even graffiti artists like him had to hear the music, maybe they didn’t put any effort or thought into the music that laced their lives and livelihood, but to some degree they were aware. Without music, there would be no Vivid Street or community.

If Ken finally had something to give a sh*t about. Something to put effort into… he would have to know the ugly truth and what better way than to start off with the person so adored and glorified. The most talented child on the street and then Ken. Could do whatever he liked after that.

He could make that decision whenever he had to or wanted to. He could do whatever he liked with that lax personality and style. So long as he finally had something to give a f*ck about. Was it so bad to wish for someone to have something in their life to care about? Someone that you… that he… that… Taiga was at a loss of words as the bell rang and they had to pack up.

The words he wanted to say felt unnatural. Like he was forcing himself to say what he thought he was supposed to say. To feel what he was supposed to when he felt something more. Something he couldn’t quite put a finger on it. Something that was complex and convoluted that made him want to rip his hair out.

So, Taiga remained silent. He couldn’t close that gap so easily, but time would he presumed as they walked side by side in the hall. Speeding up before slowly down unconsciously to match their steps as they headed to biology. Walking in tandem to one another as everyone stared on, looking at them in awe and concern.

On the wooden, broken bridge of friendship separating Kotaki Taiga and Shiraishi Ken, there was a plank. It wasn’t the most stable, it was likely rotted but they had gotten one step onto the bridge to close the gap and maybe, maybe they could do more. Maybe.

Chapter 11: I - 10

Chapter Text

The whole street went quiet as Ken and Taiga walked together side by side. Ken was apprehensive at best, hesitant as he walked the street and the silence of everyone around them made the tension worse. Made the way past all of the musicians who could only look on in fear, or excitement.

Taiga was undecided how they were looking in on them considering the elders always wanted them to work together since they believed they could do something more if they put aside the pettiness. If they ignored the hatred that they could do something good, Taiga was inclined to agree he thought. Not wholly since he really saw nothing reasonable about Ken, but deep down he was aware of the fact that they could do something more if given the chance.

And this was the chance. So long as...

Ken stopped as they walked past a senior musician, Mamoru Taiga remembered, as he appreciated his song. Tapping it out easily with his foot, nodding his head along whilst he sang. He was the only one to be singing in the world of tension that was Kotaki Taiga and Shiraishi Ken walking side by side. And that, that started a competition and the street was alive again. Each one wanting to win the boys over. Teasing one another before cajoling the boys. From Isra and her band, to Mamoru on his lonesome then Tsukasa who usually played it funny and not too seriously, all full of jokes before he went all out. Everyone was alive again and, for a moment, Taiga was a stranger in this world. He was young again and desperate to get Nagi to stop crying, unaware that it was simply within her nature to cry and the world was so simple. So easy. Manageable. The world was simply something that spun and nothing more.

But that wasn’t enough for Taiga to simply watch on and as more artists came, amateurs like him, he just had to join and sing the song of the heart. Reaching out to everyone with a fit of laughter and moving up the ranks in the impromptu battle.

Of course, there was always someone better, he knew he wasn’t the best of the best but he believed he could be. In fact, he knew he could as Ken watched him in awe but also calculation.

Ken, his rival and whatever else in the future, stared at everyone else with pure admiration. Wide amber eyes, sun glasses in his hand being held softly and his head moving along to the song. His eyes darted around the place. One person to the next then back to the first then to a new comer then to the second, the first the new, the old, a person on standby, a bassist, a-

His eyes moved around quickly but with Taiga, they simply stayed trained on him. Unwavering and they were set with a look of pensive calculation....

“Come on now Tai,” one of the musicians told Taiga as he began to laugh and wipe away the sweat on his face. “You gotta get your little buddy ‘ere. There can be no by standers in the face of music!”

Taiga chuckled lowly, “Him? Seriously?”

“Awww come on Taiga,” Isra simpered, “You know what we’re like. In fact... OI! Kid! You gonna sing or what!?”

Ken paused and pointed at himself hesitantly. As much as he was academically smart, he was not the most street smart. He was like a fish out of water for someone who frequented the streets.

“Yes, you!” Mamoru chided. “You were walking with Taiga and that kids only friends are musicians. You must want to do it.”

“I am not friends with only musicians!” Taiga protested weakly as they all shook their head at him.

“You really are,” Isra sighed, “But it’s cute I suppose. How ‘Cry-baby’ Nagi is more sociable than you surprises me each and every time.”

Taiga wanted to say something, but stopped as Ken (reluctantly) walked up to the microphone, a natural beat and song was going and now they were all interested. It had been so long since they had someone new, someone to want to rival themselves with or someone to want to make better. It had been so long since a new voice would coat the street and Taiga had to wonder what he’d sound like. What he range was or what his natural flow was like.

Ken opened his mouth and-

He wasn’t the best. Not as good as him, but very good, he took to this well just like Taiga predicted. He simply understood music, not to the best degree there were choices that Taiga frowned at visibly. Tweaking his god awful lyrics and choices that he had made under his breath earning a disappointed gaze from Isra who jabbed him in the side as if to tell him to ‘stop.’

But Taiga couldn’t, they had been mortal enemies – rivals really – for so long, it was natural to be judgemental and hold one another to an impeccably high standard. It was a logical step for them to make considering the fact that that hatred still existed in them. It wouldn’t disappear so easily. So simply. It would take time to heal them. Taiga knew that and he knew he shouldn’t want to ruin Ken’s dreams, but it was natural. He needed to understand there were always people who were better.

The song ended and Ken was still standing up straight. Not winded like he or Nagi, he was simply still standing strong. He was nervous though before the town erupted in applause, it was overwhelming. It was thrilling and tense. It was exciting and the music winded down.

“How was tha’?” Ken asked, reasonably eagerly but he coated it in false nonchalance to make it seem like it did not matter to him at all when it really did.

Taiga shrugged. “Heard worse, just some lyrical choices made me wince.”

“Made ye wince?”

Taiga hummed. “Amateurish at best.”

“And at worse?”

“You’re a newbie. The street’ll tell you what to do.”

“You’re f*cking sh*ttin’ me.”

“I ain’t say nothin’ false.”

“You’re harsher on me than other people.”

“someone’s gotta be,” Taiga shrugged easily. “Now, let’s travel back to the live houses and tell you about the gigs here. Because someone has to introduce you to this world properly. Plus I need to at least see if Nagi got home alive.”

“Your sister, right?”

“Baby sister.”

Ken nodded along and Taiga had to not roll his eyes. He was so aggravating.

#

For weeks, Taiga would perform on one corner, Ken on the opposite corner. Trying to get the crowds to leave one another and watch them. Give them the advice.

Taiga loathed to admit it, but Ken showed great improvement. But, of course, Taiga still remained in power over singing. He wanted to say it was because Ken wasn’t putting in the effort, but that was a lie because this was the most he’d seen Ken give a f*ck about in all their years of rivalry. Yes, it came natural to Ken but unlike sports where he could simply just learn the rules and do it. Never doing anything more like unnecessary training or like school where he understood the concepts but never did any club work or tutoring to help others. Ken actually put the effort in.

He would talk to live house owners, asking when he could start gigs and the likes (when they, because Taiga had to be included, started middle school which was only in a months time they said). Ken exerted something and they had a rhythm.

Sing, fight, make up, give advice, teeter towards friendship before they argued again and repeat. They never fell over that line until one day.

“Are you serious?” Taiga asked Nagi unamused as the girl was chuckling to herself quietly as he did her hair. Honestly, she was so needy.

“Of course, I’m serious!” Nagi grinned as Taiga twisted the strands of her hair to form tight plaits. “I mean, come on he took so much of your time and you always complained about him. Plus... he’s charming or so I hear.”

“And where do you hear this from?”

“Friends,” Nagi waved off easily as she readjusted her position on the floor.

“Nagi...” Taiga gritted out and he didn’t know whether it was because his baby sister was listening to gossip about attraction or her movement which caused him to let go of her hair.

“I’m only kidding! I told you, I’m married to music. I just heard from my friends he’s meant to be attractive,” she shrugged. “Anyway, can I watch you today? Please~~~”

“No.”

“Why not!?”

“Homework or something.”

“Unlike you, I do my homework beforehand. It’s all done and I have a free day.”

“Can’t you call Mei? Or Ayaka?”

“Both of them are busy,” Nagi continued factually. “So is Kirara, Ei, Makoto, Akari and Emi.”

“I’m going to regret asking this but...”

“They’re all watching a football game and...” she trailed off mocking a gag. “Basketball is far superior.”

“I can sleep easily at night now knowing you won’t date one of them because of their choice in sport,” Taiga sighed as he tied off her plaits. His fingers aching by the end of it because of how thick her hair was and how tight she wanted it.

She swivelled around immediately and flashed him large puppy dog eyes. Her eyes welling up with tears as if she were going to start sobbing as she played with a light blue denim jacket, rolling the cuffs around in her fingers, tugging it over her hands to engulf them all. She was awfully desperate Taiga realised.

He sighed and Nagi knew, she just knew she had won.

“Alright, fine,” he huffed and she bounced up before wobbling a little. “Are you okay?”

“Fine,” she smiled, holding her head. “Just got up a little too fast, but, come on~~~~. I want to meet your partner~~~”

“Not my partner. And you’re not coming otherwise...”

“Taiga,” she began seriously. “I’m fine. I’m always going to be anaemic and get dizzy... Why do you keep protecting me from the inevitable?”

“I’m always going to protect you because you’re my baby sister,” he sighed. He wanted to ruffle her hair, but he had did it too tightly. He walked over and hugged her. “You can protest and try to act older, but I’m going to worry nonetheless.”

“I know you are. I just hate it a lot. I can take care of myself. I’m no longer a cry-baby!”

Taiga pulled away and looked down at her. “You sure about that?”

“I swear~~~” she whined, stomping her foot. She pouted and Taiga laughed heartily.

“Ah~~~, Nagi, you’re so easy to rile up,” he remarked, leaving the hug.

She said nothing but merely huffed and turned away from him.

“How about this, you can climb on my bac-“ he didn’t finish before she launched herself at him and began to cling to him because as old as she wanted to be seen. She was still a child and loved to get piggy back rides from him and loved securing herself to his back.

Taiga huffed and nearly toppled forward, but said nothing more as Nagi squealed in glee. “Let’s go! Let’s go!”

“Nagi...”

“Taiga...”

He huffed, but trudged down the stairs, holding onto the banister tightly, Nagi pushing her head into his neck. He was going to have a broken back.

#

When they arrived on the street, they stopped every step because someone had something to say to Nagi. Whether it was cooing at the siblings or advice. Hell, sometimes gifts that they had to refuse because, hands were full.

They didn’t refuse free sunglasses though nor a hat for Nagi as it jabbed into his neck. He wanted to groan and complain, but she looked absolutely adorable and made up in the straw hat so he relented as she moved her head to the music, singing quietly.

“Is that him?” she asked, pointing over to where Ken was setting up and warming up.

“Yeah, that’s the bas- that’s Ken,” Taiga answered. And Nagi hummed.

“Let’s go greet him,” she grinned, and Taiga always fell to his sister’s whims.

“Oi! Ken!” he called out and the brunette stopped, stared for a moment and took his sunglasses off to continue to stare.

“He’s rude, isn’t he?” Nagi mused, as Taiga brought them over. He wanted to reply, to say something to her but she didn’t let him and she grinned at Ken. “So you’re the one who’s been taking up all of Taiga’s time.”

“You must be Nagi.”

“The one and only,” she grinned, before trying to clamber down Taiga’s back.

It was moments like these he realised how short she was. Whilst she was slightly above average height for her age, coming in at 4ft7, he and Ken were slightly taller than their average height for their age, standing at 5ft4 inches. And whilst it wasn’t a huge difference in theory, they were still a whole head taller than her and had to really crane their necks to look down at her.

“You’re quite...”

“Quite, hm?” she questioned, before shaking her head. “I just know that I’m good at what I do!”

Ken made a face and Nagi countered it with amusem*nt. “Can I show you?”

“Sure?” Ken returned and Taiga laughed a little.

“You just willingly signed yourself up to get beaten by a nine year old,” he chuckled before clapping Ken on the back.

“Is she really that good?”

“She’s shy as anything, I’m surprised she was that forward with you, but she sings like a woman,” Taiga bragged as people stepped out.

“Ahhh, we’re getting treated with a Nagi special,” the worker of Crawl Green (a newer live house) began.

“You know it,” she smiled cheekily, but her voice wavered a little. Ken glanced at Taiga as if to say he understood what he meant but said nothing more as Nagi began to sing.

Kaketemiyou began and Nagi was at ease as she sang the song easily. It was as easy as breathing she made it seem, like she wasn’t thinking as she interacted with the crowd. Drawing everyone closer, Taiga watched on worriedly considering her light-headedness earlier on in the day, but she never stopped. Nagi loved rapping and street music, but city pop was her true calling. The soft way she could basically trot around stage and form a connection with the audience without having to try too hard.

(Not that Nagi had to try at all, they all loved her).

Then, she moved from Japanese music something simple that would have Ken doubting what he heard. Doubting those rumours into something western because like her brother, she too was excellent at English. Often, they conversed with one another in the language because it was easy to do so.

Now that, she was good at it she could do something complex like ‘I will always love you’ by Dolly Parton and the whole street came out to cry and scream. Some of the people who had practically taught Nagi all she knew (because they had taught Taiga) were sobbing and no matter how many times she sang it, it always reduced them to tears.

Ken looked at Nagi, with large wide eyes and Taiga saw his sister’s mouth turn up a little into a small smile before she went back to something easy. Something simple but Ken couldn’t forget the performance as she handed the microphone back to him.

“That was fun, a nice warm up,” she stated to Taiga before hugging him. “How good are you?” she countered, and Ken could only splutter.

Taiga loved his sister well and truly.

Chapter 12: I - 11

Chapter Text

Two months had passed since that day and many changes were made to Taiga’s life. Firstly, he and Ken were able to perform in live houses. Crawl Green loved having them there, but COL offered them sets too. They performed in a mixture of events, but Taiga was always more drawn to battles more so than anything meaning he saw Ken less and less because battles weren’t ‘for him’ he’d say even though he was competitive. You could always tell his competitiveness depending on how Taiga pissed him off that morning or afternoon or whenever really. The fire that lit in his eyes, the narrowing of his eyes whenever Taiga pushed his buttons a little too much. The way he glared at him as he sang across the street from him and drew in the crowd.

Shiraishi Ken was competitive for how much he portrayed himself as laid-back.

But battles didn’t suit the image he was portraying as the fish out of water late comer to street music. To the less impulsive teen that gave Taiga a run for his money from how laidback and casual he was, not having to strain too much to be able to do what he was doing. Not having to exert more effort than necessary.

Plus, he had begun to learn how to DJ and DJ’s, well they were awfully casual as they twisted around their records and made the music stop and start.

In those two months, Nagi had warmed up to Ken and taken a liking to him. She had assured Taiga multiple times it was nothing that formed from romance, but she still really liked him. Smiling at him and always speaking to him, punching him in the shoulder before he got her a treat or something.

Something swelled within Taiga when he watched that. As pathetic as it was, this jealousy over his sister forming a friendship with his rival, he still felt it. It was like he was in a losing battle and was losing Nagi to Ken like everything else and, at some point, all Taiga was good for in this world was singing but even then…

He never voiced his concerns to anyone, he just wallowed in the self-pity. But Nagi… Nagi knew it.

It was late, the stars were out. Well, they were close to being out. Attached to a city with bright neon lights they were hard to see, they were something that were so rare but so treasured by the city. By Nagi in particular even if she would deny that she liked them. Even if she turned her nose up at them and the mythology behind constellations, she was like a child and naturally drawn to them. Dragging her desk chair to her window, crossing her arms and resting them on the window ledge before placing her head on there to watch them. Her mouth open slightly in awe and her eyes wide, a large smile fighting its way onto her face.

“How’s being jealous going?” Nagi asked casually, glancing back at Taiga who was situated on his bed (since when wasn’t Nagi in his room? She practically lived there, and her room was glorified storage featuring a bed) and writing in his book.

“I am not jealous.”

“You are,” Nagi laughed. “You know, you’re my brother and I love you a lot. I just… I think Ken’s funny. He’s really passionate about music.” She tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear.

“Is he now?”

“Stop being so dismissive,” Nagi huffed. “I… I want to team up with him.”

“Do you?” Nagi sent him a pointed stare that made his insides twist in uncomfortableness before he closed his book and looked at her. “You can team up with whoever you want.”

“You’re not upset I asked you first?” Nagi countered, grinning evilly and Taiga rolled his eyes.

“Why ask questions you already know the answers to?”

“Because. I like it when you’re open and honest. Isn’t honesty the best thing you told me?” Nagi grinned evilly.

“You need to stop grinning evilly,” Taiga huffed.

“Stop deflecting.”

“I am not deflecting.”

He was, he didn’t want to make Nagi feel bad. If she felt that Ken was better suited for a partner, then he wouldn’t stop her though he was a little irritated that it wasn’t him. They were siblings, they did duets on the street from time to time. Jumping into random battles because the music started and it wouldn’t stop in their lives until they could no longer get up and sing and, for the first time in their lives, they would be quiet since they discovered music. The Kotaki’s, at least the children, were notorious for being in every music and rap battle. Taking down people twice their age, sometimes twice their height with a small smile and waving their fingers as their way of saying goodbye. They were a dynamic duo and-

“You are irritated,” Nagi continued factually. “I didn’t ask you because I didn’t know if you would willingly work with Ken. If you two can get on fine, I would love to be a group with you two…”

“What would even do as a group?” Taiga asked, he wouldn’t refuse it outright… yet. He would listen to Nagi because that was his little sister and if her request was reasonable, he could put up with being in a group with Ken. For Nagi’s sake.

“Be the best musicians in this town and then, then the whole world. We take it over,” Nagi continued like it was obvious. “We already sing like were dying and… this whole town says we could make something of ourselves. We have the talent we just need the unity.”

“You could make something of yourself as a soloist.”

“You know that soloists aren’t the best in street music. You form partnerships and you are well aware of the severity of a partnership,” she was so wise and smart for a ten year old. “Can you just… try it for me? One song, me, you and Ken. Then I’ll never ask you about this again, but I am going to take over the world with or without you.”

Taiga shook his head. “An ultimatum, seriously?”

“If it’s the only way to get through to you about my dreams? Then yes. I would give you one again and again,” she insisted easily.

“Fine. I’ll sing a song with you all.”

“Good, because Ken says he can meet up with us tomorrow at like two,” Nagi stated easily as she looked at her nails. “I need a nail appointment…”

“You already told Ken about this?” Nagi nodded.

“Why wouldn’t I? He wants to fulfil my dream with me, something something, I’m like a little sister to him.”

“So, you planned all of this out and didn’t tell me? For how long?”

“Like three days,” Nagi answered easily. She looked at him, in his eyes. “Are you upset?”

“A little,” Taiga admitted before Nagi rolled the chair over to him and clambered onto his bed. Resting her head on his shoulders. “You’re going soft.”

“I was always soft, will always be when it comes to you and when I hurt you,” Nagi laughed softly. “I’m sorry… it was a spur of a moment thing. I just… I want a partner so bad, and I want to be the best in the world. I want our music to reach people and change people’s perception of street music. I just…”

“You don’t have to justify yourself to me,” Taiga began, adjusting their position to hug her tightly. “I love the sound of your dream and, even if I can’t work with Ken, I’ll be the biggest supporter of it. I’ll always cheer you on.”

“It sounds like you’ve made up your mind without even trying.”

“I said ‘if’. I didn’t say ‘when.’ I said, ‘if’. I’m willing to try.” I’m willing to try anything if it’s for you, I always have.

“Is my dream too childish?” Nagi asked softly.

“With your voice? If people didn’t let you take over the world, I would be surprised. You have the best voice I know and with time, you’ll only get better,” Taiga admitted looking at her. “Why? Who do I need to threaten for placing doubts in my baby sister’s mind?”

“You don’t need to threaten anyone.”

“You sure?”

“Positive. I was just thinking. Everyone around me has such realistic goals, I mean Ayaka wants to be a ballerina. Not a prima ballerina, but just a ballerina in general and she has the balance and the talent. The natural poise and grace. That’s natural. Then Emi… she wants to be a vet and you know her parents already are doctors and the likes. They’re putting her in extra classes, and she loves animals. She’s super smart too. Then there’s-“

“Breathe,” Taiga instructed, taking Nagi’s hand as she begun to spiral. “Breathe with me. In one, two, three. Out, one, two, three.”

Nagi followed along easily before laughing once she had regained control of herself. “I’m so-“

“Nagi. What have I always told you?”

“Respect your elders?”

“That but…”

“Sing from your heart?”

“Yes but, I mean, you never have to apologise to me. Unless you’re entirely in the wrong like you blew up a hospital and I was in there,” Taiga explained, smoothing her face with his hands. “This is natural. Anxiety is natural but I think, no, I know your dream is realistic. You’ve been making music for years, what instruments do you even know by this point?”

“Drums, bass, piano, flute, guitar, violin to a degree, the celes-“

“See? You know a lot of music and you know how to sing. Ken admitted it to me one day after a joint event, I was getting coffee from one of the vending machines,” Taiga explained and Nagi was interested. No longer living in her world of doubt.

Good. He thought. He wouldn’t be able to protect her forever, but so long as he lived, he would protect her the best he could. He would always protect his little sister and ease her burdens. That was his job as the older brother, and he would do so forever and ever until she begged him to stop and, even then, he would refuse. She was his baby sister. His favourite person on the whole wide planet. The person that made him love music. The person that whenever he had a bad day, always came in with something. A stupid and cheap card she made with a random sheet of paper that had been picked out of the bin saying, ‘you’re the bestest I love you!’ or a random song and dance that made him worry in case she fell or got dizzy, but put a smile on his face. She was his everything and without her, he would be lost and if she lost part of herself, he might as well lose a part of himself too.

“He walked out and said, ‘So, about Nagi?’ I wanted to sock him then and there, thought he was sayin’ he wanted to date you,” Taiga admitted and Nagi pulled a disgusted face. “I know, I know, ‘I’m only married to music.’ But because you are doesn’t mean other people won’t want to date you.”

“I think that’s insane,” Nagi huffed. She dipped her head for a moment. “Continue.”

“Well, I ask ‘What about her?’ and he started to ramble on about how good you were and are. That you just sing in a way that captures people’s hearts and make them look at you even if you are shy and scared. Voice trembling and bowing down afterwards, hair covering your face and eyes that you look like something that came from the sea. A scary monster!”

“I am too old to be scared of scary monsters,” Nagi huffed.

“You used to be so much easier to scare when you were younger,” Taiga lamented and Nagi glared at him.

“You’re so mean!”

“It’s the job as an older brother to tease you,” he continued. “But that was how it went basically. Ken complimented you, I said ‘Okay.’ And came back home.”

“You’re helpful.”

“I try my best.”

Nagi huffed before settling back into the crook of his neck. “Did he really? You aren’t making it up?”

“I would never lie to you to make you feel better. I always told you honesty was the best policy, and I adhere to that rule too.”

Nagi nodded softly. “I’m really scared, I think we could do it but what if we get too close to the sun, like Icarus, and fall. Get burnt or… worse…”

“We get back up again; you always get back up after you fall when practicing dances. I always got back up after losing rap battles and fighting with Ken. He always got back up after losing to me and then you that one day. You simply try again and again and soon; you will overcome that wall.”

“Will you be there with me? On the other side?”

“I can’t make any promises.”

And she seemed content with that, nodding slightly. “Can I sleep here tonight?”

“Do you want to watch some awful American film?”

“Yes! Who do you take me for!?”

Taiga laughed as Nagi got off his shoulder and shuffled to the back of his bed, grabbing a pillow and popping it behind her head as she kicked the covers to get in the bed. Taiga only stared at her as she smiled at him gleefully whilst the covers were on the floor all crumpled up.

“I only just made the bed this morning…”

“Okay and it would get crumpled as we slept.”

Taiga rolled his eyes and looked away from her as he took out a random VHS tape that they had. He simply walked up to the clerk every month or so and asked for some cheap VHS tapes and they gave him a plethora of them. They returned the ones they didn’t like, such as Pinocchio (Nagi had to stay in his bed for a week because of the nightmares she got from it) and kept the ones they did like such as Scooby-doo on zombie island because the dog was funny. Nagi was always so engrossed in it too, sitting at the edge of the bed in awe, watching the scenes so she really liked it for some reasons. Taiga didn’t mind it, but it wasn’t the best he thought.

“What’s tonight’s film?” Nagi asked from the bed.

“Jurassic Park.”

“What’s that about?”

“Nagi…

“Come on! I just asked for the back to be told to me! It will not spoil the film!”

“I beg to differ,” Taiga huffed as he headed away from the VHS player and grabbed the duvet off the floor. “Are you getting off the bed or am I suffocating you?”

“You love me too much to murder me.”

Taiga shrugged as he began to shake out the duvet and it covered Nagi entirely as he tried to fix his bed because his sister was lazy and irritating. She giggled every time it covered her and it stayed on top of her head, before Taiga flipped the top down and clambered in next to her watching the movie.

#

When it was twelve o’clock, the siblings had arrived at the street where Ken was lounging around. Warming up, as he walked around the mic. Throwing a thumbs up to other artists on the street casually.

“Ken!” Nagi called out before she bounded towards him.

The brunette was shocked but caught her in time before placing her back on steady ground. “Way to make an entrance Nagi.”

“You know me, I have a flair for dramatics, have you met my brother?”

“Seriously?” Taiga asked as he nodded at Ken.

“You were screaming at the TV last night because of the dinosaurs and their rampage. You got upset I kicked the duvet covers off your bed.”

“I made the bed that morning you brat,” he grumbled before taking Nagi into his reach and ruffling her hair. “You have no respect for anyone.”

“I do, just not you two,” she shrugged easily. “Anyway, are we ready to bring this town to it’s knees?” She asked enthusiastically, taking off her denim jacket and heading towards the microphone set Ken had to have borrowed for the extra microphones needed for Taiga and Nagi. She was bouncing on the tips of her toes, moving back and forth, shaking her shoulders and moving her head. It was over the top of dramatic, but Nagi was not the best at hiding her excitement in that small body of hers. It was too powerful it just spilled out and exploded.

Taiga nodded and Ken shrugged before Nagi clapped her hands together and headed to the music box. Once she had turned her back, the two boys scrutinised one another, Taiga looking Ken up and down and Ken returning the favour. His mouth set in a straight line.

When Nagi turned around, the boys returned their faces to cold indifference as the song stared and the music took over. The music took over and Taiga forgot about the world around him as he sang what was natural. Sometimes, he and Ken overlapped, and he was loathe to admit that it sounded… nice.

Well, better than nice because each time a loud roar from the gathering crowd could be heard as Nagi took centre stage making everyone fall in line with them. Upping the energy of the crowd as she danced around, grinning at them all easily and posing for videos whilst he and Ken were stiff.

That stiffness wore off over time though. Soon Ken was trying to engage the crowd, no longer looking at Taiga from the corner of his eyes whenever he didn’t have to sing. It was strange… it felt natural and right. Like the world his whole life had stopped spinning, and this caused it to spin again, in total control and with ease because it was so natural. It was like there was something missing in all of Taiga’s life, and he couldn’t help himself as his shoulder’s relaxed. Then his mouth relaxed and he had no more forehead creases and singing was everything once more. The words flowed and the way he had the crowd pumped was logical. Was something that just happened as they all watched them.

He wanted to be upset, he tried to be upset. Force some negativity into his soul considering he was so easily negative, but nothing could change how he felt and how at ease he was. At peace singing with Ken and not against him. It was strange and he hated the feeling and the knowing look the street gave them as they came out to support them. Even Isra was there and grinning proudly as she watched them and Isra only watched a performance for, at most, a minute and not a second longer. But she was there for four songs as they sang until their legs gave in and their voice was hoarse.

It felt right and Taiga hated it because to hate Ken was so much easier than to like Ken and work alongside him.

But hadn’t he already learnt how to do so? By watching Ken in hate, he knew how he worked…

Taiga despised that thin line between love and hate.

#

Taiga and Nagi were sat on the floor, well by sat he meant that Nagi was laying on her back, looking at the sun having borrowed Ken’s sunglasses as he ran to get them a drink. She was at total peace and smiling dopily.

“So… are you joining us as we fulfil my dream?” Nagi asked and Taiga didn’t have to think about anything, he had known from the first note of the song. From the first word and the first smile of Nagi’s that it was a ‘yes.’

No matter how much he detested and despised Ken. He was not a fool when it came to music.

“You already know the answer to that,” he answered cryptically, resting his arms on his raised knee and holding his face to look at her.

“I know, I just thought to ask because I could be presumptuous and ‘a brat’ otherwise.”

“You’re always a brat,” Taiga sighed. “But… working alongside the two of you won’t be so hard. I want to see the sunrise beyond that wall. I want to smash it and build a new one. A higher one.”

Nagi turned to look at him, “Look at you coming around to my dream~~~”

“I was always a fan; I just didn’t know if I could deal with him. But if he get’s me a coffee and you a water each time, I could like him,” Taiga shrugged easily as Ken came back. Sitting on the other side to Nagi. “You get my coffee bastard?”

“I forgot it,” Ken replied snidely before rolling the can across the pink stained floor. “Who gave you permission to call me bastard?”

“My brain.”

Ken clenched his jaw but said nothing as he drank his fizzy drink. “So, are you chasing Nagi’s dream with me?”

“I’m chasing it with my sister, you’re just an afterthought.”

“Boys…” Nagi sighed quietly as she sat up. “One minute, all I am asking for.”

“That’s impossible.”

“I can give you thirty seconds,” Ken offered, and the two boys looked to one another, glared before breaking off into their own subtle laughter.

“I’ll take that joint laugh instead,” Nagi pointed out smugly before taking her drink and raising it up. “A toast to the three of us for chasing our dream. To be the best in the world!”

“Cheers,” the two boys said in unison, all of them clinking their drinks together. The boys said nothing more because they had nothing more to say. But it felt right for them. It felt right for them for Nagi to take the lead and they would follow along to her whims. If that was what she wanted to have a toast to, then so be it.

And, so, RADder was formed even if they didn’t call themselves RADder yet. Even if they didn’t know that they would be legends and even bigger than what they originally thought. Even though they were unaware of the tragedy that would befall RADder, for the moment they were happy and drinking whatever they could with tentative peace between Ken and Taiga. A fragile thing. But it was better than nothing and asking for more so early would ruin whatever they had and that was something they could live with. If only for the moment as they closed their eyes and let themselves dream about what was beyond that wall and how tall it was. What was in the sunrise or, the sunset.

Chapter 13: I - 12

Chapter Text

The next day, they met in the park. It was something that was neutral and allowed for Nagi to run off with her friends once they had met up and done what they needed to do. What they needed to accomplish at this meeting, the beginning of their team.

Taiga was excited honestly. He would deny it, he would tell everyone that he was not eager and ready, bouncing on the tips of his toes in order to do it. However, there was no denying his excitement. His readiness to take on the world and what they would have to do. In fact, he had gone to go and see Daisuke, the owner of Crawl Green to ask what groups needed and what partners needed.

At first, the man chastised Taiga saying he wasn’t taking it seriously if he was partnering with Ken. That he made partnerships seem weak. But he did praise him for partnering up with Nagi talking about how that shows the bond and strength of street music partners and was a genuine relationship. It wasn’t something done half-heartedly to work with your sibling. So, Daisuke relented and listened to Taiga’s queries and offered advice. Advice he was ready to give right now.

“Do you have to travel with an entourage?” Taiga asked as he stared at Ken’s fangirls screeching his name and the likes.

“I don’t intend to, they just won’t leave me alone,” Ken grumbled, staring back at them and shaking his head, his shoulders sagging in defeat. He shook his head, forced on what Taiga believed to be a charming smile and turned to the girls. “Ladies, ladies, I need to sort some business out. Do you mind leaving us?”

Nagi rolled her eyes and remained quiet as their glares moved onto her when they spotted her cowering behind Taiga.

“Look at my sister like that and I will punch your teeth in,” Taiga threatened before making a shooing motion with his hands. “Now, go before I hurt you.”

“Ken, you won’t let him, right?” one of them simpered and Ken just stared at her.

“You go for Nagi, I say it’s free game.”

“You’re also interrupting our singing time,” Taiga huffed. “Now f*ck off.”

The girls stared at him. Move back to Ken who seemed disinterested in the whole thing and huffed indignantly, storming and stomping away and muttering something to one another that Taiga didn’t give a sh*t about. Their stupid teenage girl nonsense was mind numbing and being around Ken was mind numbing enough already and made him feel stupid to begin with and then to deal with the needs of fangirls? You were asking for a f*cking miracle.

“Now, back to business,” Taiga sighed, Nagi unlatching herself from them and returning back to normal, determination written across her face as she tucked her hands into her shorts. “Firstly, in order to do anything, Daisuke said we need a name.”

“A name?” Ken repeated, walking alongside Taiga as the boy nodded.

“Like… Never Glow or paper wishes, nothing you know, stupid like that but something like that if you get me. We are not letting Nagi name us by the way.”

“Oi!”

“Why not?”

“The-resa the barbie, that was spelt as ‘T-e-r-e-s-s-a-y.’”

“I could be unable to spell!” she cried out, stomping her foot down on the ground.

“’Could.’ Not ‘am,’” Taiga sighed as he turned to Ken. “So, what do you like?”

“What do I like?”

“If we combine things, we have common feelings on, we can create a name to suit all of us,” Taiga continued easily. “We want to be better than everyone else, so I think the -er suffix should be in there.”

“But if we want to be better than everyone in music. We need to know how. What makes us unique from everyone else?” Nagi countered factually. She smiled as they walked past gerberas, taking out her camera and taking a few photos of them much to Taiga’s – fond – annoyance.

“Well, I say we’re popular and cool,” Ken began, and Taiga scoffed.

“You’re popular. I’m cool and Nagi is both, does not apply to all of us,” Taiga refused and Nagi giggled to herself.

“How am I not cool?”

“You wear sunglasses twenty-four seven. You are the furthest thing from cool,” Taiga explained.

“What about… roses?” Nagi interrupted and the boys just looked at her. “Sunflowers?”

“Sunflowerers?” Ken stated and Nagi deflated at the thought.

“So not that… What’s something we’ve all watched or like?”

“I like Jurassic Park,” Taiga spoke up and Nagi fake gagged.

“That film is awful. They’re idiots. I hate dinosaurs too.”

“I have never seen it.”

“I like the colour re-“

“The day I name myself after a colour is the day I kill myself. Especially since it clashes with the best colour dark-green. Ooooh how about dark-greener?”

“It woulf work if there were just a dark-green. There isn’t.”

“Plus-“

#

Nagi had forgone hanging out with her friends as they sat in Crawl Green looking at Daisuke and tossing around questions and words. “Awesommer?” Ken continued staring at the ceiling.

“Cooler? That’s a real word.”

And then Nagj bolted up for a moment. Thought to herself and tested it on her tongue before turning to them. “What about RADder?”

“Radder?” Daisuke repeated and Nagi shook her head.

“It’s RADder. Capital R-A-D followed by a lowercase d-e-r,” Nagi explained for a moment. “I mean it captures us all, you get your -er ending, we all love America and American films, it translates to Awesommer like you wanted. Its perfect!”

Taiga looked at Ken, and tested it himself, whispering it like a sacred mantra.

RADder. RADder. RADder.

“I like it,” Ken admitted.

“It ain’t half-bad...” Taiga agreed. “So, we’re all RADder?”

“Yes!”

“Yeah.”

And Daisuke grinned, “Well done. Now you need to select songs and organise a timetable and figure out gigs such as Ken and Taiga going alone because you, missy, are too young for live houses.”

They all let out a collective groan.

Chapter 14: I - 13

Chapter Text

Taiga rolled his shoulders back and took a deep breath in as he entered the live house. It had been so long, and he felt rusty, no longer this pristine thing that made them all stare on in admiration. He felt like he hadn’t sung in a long while and whilst he did practice with Ken and Nagi, he hadn’t done anything on his own.

But now, it felt like he would never be alone he realised.

If someone were to say they were calm before a live house performance, Taiga would call bullsh*t. It was an entire lie because everyone was a scared and shaking thing backstage, performing nervous actions like flapping their hands, some people rocking back and forth or tugging on their outfits. He was nervous, but he didn’t want to show it. He was the youngest there by a long shot, everyone around him was older. Some in high school, but most of them were adults. He was terrified because one wrong step. One wrong move and the legacy of RADder would be ruined and they hadn’t even begun.

Not that they could begin anyway, they had to wait three more years until Nagi had started high school to perform in live houses since ‘no favouritism’ was allowed and Taiga, well he couldn’t complain about it. It was reasonable and respectable. They had to wait for the moment she started high school and not a second later.

But three years and no traction? No fans save those that watched their practices which were stiff and rushed, that featured Ken and Taiga still trying to like one another. Even after a month of constantly being around one another, Ken – reluctantly – saving him a space at lunch and getting it with him in school, Taiga being around Ken’s extra-curricular sports. All of it. All of the constant and draining hours around one another, and they were still as stiff as a board with one another.

They had made some progress. Taiga was able to wave ‘hello’ to him without wanting to kill himself on the spot and, as petty and stupid as that sounded, that was amazing progress considering he had thought of fifty unique and equally gruesome ways of committing suicide in front of Ken and changing the trajectory of his life.

Well, that as dramatic. But Taiga always had a flair for dramatics. He was never one to do anything so simply. He just naturally called for the spectacle, hence why battle shows were his favourite. They were made to be dramatic, to have the crowd on the edge of their seats, inching just ever so slightly closer to the stage to soak up the music and the performance. To leave them wanting, yearning more as you sang and wondering ‘who’s next? Can they beat this?’

He wasn’t a natural performer like Nagi with her natural way of captivating you with how she would flick her hair and jump around on the street. With her perfect voice that was that of a woman and left you wondering how it fit into her tiny body. With the energy of a fizzy drink just waiting to explode that did keep exploding and affected everyone. She was just Kotaki Nagi and made for the stage.

Sometimes, there was a small part of him that was jealous. It was only a tiny part of him. Something he could repress and ignore because he loved his sister above all and if she was put on this world to be better than him, so be it. If he was meant to live in the shadow, live underneath her and situate her on a throne above them all. Then so be it. He would live that way so long as she was able to smile and the jealousy, he could ignore it and pretend it never existed.

But, whenever he was alone, he remembered it clear as day. It never left him. And at events like these, something akin to pride welled up within him. A bitter giddiness that this was for him and him alone.

It never lasted long since he missed her too much and knew the minute she entered high school, she would never let him see the outside and that natural light. But he had accepted that already because she was basically a living and physical embodiment of the sun, and that was all he needed.

“Taiga,” Isra smiled, she had only just entered backstage. She was at ease clearly, but when wasn’t she? She knew her talent, she knew she was great, and she was confident in her work. A confidence that only Nagi could rival effortlessly. She natural had a calling to music and to people. “It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you, are you ready for this? How is that rivalry with that boy going?”

“It’s complicated,” he admitted and Isra tipped her head back and laughed.

“Of course, it is… How is Nagi?”

“She’s still Nagi.”

She shook her head before someone else called to her. Someone older meaning he would be forgotten. She squeezed his shoulder, flashed an apologetic smile and left.

He was used to that at this point. When he first began, his parents were helicopter parents, but now they were lax. They let them run wild and free and explore and discover things. They learnt that the community was safe and let them be. Taiga couldn’t be upset, but he did want to for a while.

He didn’t handle emotions well he realised in that moment and that was a distraction. He had to empty his head, just for the second and remember, remember what this performance was.

‘Are you sure you can carry this burden?’

‘Man, you don’t gotta work too hard. I can perform too…’

He knew that Ken could carry on the legacy and the hope of RADder, but he didn’t trust him with Nagi’s dream. He didn’t know how important music was to her, to their family. How could Ken begin the dream? Simple. He couldn’t, either Nagi or himself had to begin it and she was too young, so as her older, reliable brother. He did it. He could carry and he would carry it for Nagi’s sake, and it was petty to be jealous of Ken who earnt her ribbing and wide-eyed admiration, who was learning how to speak to her without saying a singular word. It was pathetic and he was jealous, and this, this was his way of proving himself the only way he knew he could. Living her dream and making her proud.

He rolled his shoulders as the show began; the crowd began to roar. He clicked his neck and clicked his fingers, interlacing them and took a deep breathe in.

He had to win this battle. There was more than pride at stake, it was deeper than music. He had to begin their dream strong and carry the burden alone for the first time in a long time. He could do it and he had to.

#

Taiga won the battle. Barely. He knew he was so close to losing it and he knew he only won due to the announcement of RADder being a thing and this being his first performance as a member of the group. They could all deny it, but the crowd got so excited for it and the energy levels were easy to track as they dropped over time. He wanted to be annoyed, but he wasn’t. He couldn’t be.

“Heard you won,” Ken began as Taiga exited the live house, pushing back his hair and carrying his bag with him.

“Yeah. You been spray paintin’ again?” Taiga asked gesturing to Ken’s fingers covered in red paint.

“Bored waiting for you,” he shrugged easily, adjusting his sunglasses. “sides, you never forget what you once had.”

“You can always go back.”

“Do you wanna get rid of me?”

“I ain’t saying that. You just seemed like you wanted to so I’m telling you, you can,” Taiga retorted easily. Arguments were so easy to slip into. Hate was so easy to grasp.

“I’m not gonna quit now,” Ken shrugged. “Just came to say congrats.”

“Thanks then,” Taiga huffed. “You want to get some coffee?”

“You payin’?”

“It’d be rude of me,” Taiga shrugged, and Ken nodded.

The silence was awkward and the tension thick as they dipped in little alcoves, waving to people as they went past before they reached the good alley.

The ‘good alley’ as Taiga called it was in a more quiet area of the town. A secluded area that people rarely frequented and, he believed, didn’t know existed. It had vending machines of drinks stocked up, a small flower shop, a place for the stray cats that curled their tails around their legs as they walked by. Empty spray cans thrown all over the place and paint so thick and crusted it was a testament that no one was there and had been there save them.

Taiga had discovered this after the end of one of their meetings and he had stormed off. He kicked a can over, and it rolled and rolled into the alley. Now, he was angry, but he wasn’t someone who would litter willingly or leave a mess for the town to clean up. So, he had to walk in and clean it all up.

He realised; he realised as he walked in that it was a nice place. It was so serene and so empty. He could clear his head and think. By doing that, he had let go of some of his anger. There was a vending machine too and, well he was simply curious. He needed to know if people did frequent this place or if this was his own special place.

He was certainly tempting fate solely because he would be disappointed if the vending machine was out of date, but he would be equally disappointed if it were in date.

Considering he brought Ken there, it had all been in date meaning he was disappointed since it meant people came by and visited. But it at least had drinks for whenever he and Ken fought, which they always did. One wrong word, one wrong sigh or breath could lead to World War III. It was natural to fight for them, but sometimes, he didn’t want to fight. He was too defensive.

“Can ye get me a lemonade?” Ken asked as Taiga went to the machine.

“I came for us to have coffee.”

“I don’t like bitter things.”

Taiga raised an eyebrow but relented because it was his money he was using and Ken (and Nagi when she learnt of it) would force him to use his own money to buy him what he wanted. He passed Ken the can and the boy opened it and began to drink his lemonade before sitting on the floor. “We need a bench here.”

“How the f*ck are we getting a bench here?” Taiga asked reasonably, laughing a little as he sat opposite to Ken. “There’s not much space here.”

“We’re just tall.”

“Not that tall, Nagi is just short.”

“You got that right,” Ken chuckled. “How was the performance?”

“Good, I won but you knew that, right?”

“Heard people who left talkin’ about it,” Ken shrugged. “I just want to know your opinion though since you’re pretty realistic on our performances.”

“You have to be. Nagi’s great and all but she’s a little too idyllic, the town are too harsh and rough, they beat you down constantly. And you? You are nowhere near our level.”

“I know that” Ken sighed. “You don’t gotta remind me.”

“I ain’t sayin’ you’re bad, you’re just not Nagi or me. You could be if you tried more.”

“I try hard enough,” Ken replied cryptically looking away. He took a drink of lemonade, pursed his lips and shook his head. “Why are you so argumentative?”

“You piss me off, I told you that.”

“I know that, but I mean… why do we always have to argue?”

“It’s natural. Easier to live with.”

“Can’t we try to be friends?”

Taiga scoffed and rolled his eyes. “It’s a natural thing for us and natural for me to do. Why waste my time trying to force something out of me? It won’t work or do anything. We’re gonna be this way forever and ever.”

There was a pause. The air was too hot, and Taiga thought he had said something wrong by saying too little. There was too much that he wanted to say but he held back and waited on it. Held it back for once in his life, he was normally someone who spoke at length and said what he thought but in regard to Ken and the hopes of a friendship. His thoughts and speech lingered unsaid in the air. Caught in his throat.

“Alright,” Ken relented. “I gotta go to sleep and Nagi wants to watch a film with you tonight.”

“She does?”

“Yeah, she and I visited the VHS store earlier when you were practicin’, there was a new movie, and she desperately wants to watch it.”

“Why did you let me sit here and have a coffee?” he asked, getting up and glaring at him. Ken just always had to piss him off.

“Nagi wanted us to talk and figure ‘us out.’ I tried but clearly neither of us want to move on and grow up. So, let’s end it now, right? We’re just partners in a group with Nagi and our love of music in common. That’s it, right?”

“Right,” Taiga agreed hesitantly, and Ken nodded.

“See you tomorrow. Are you waitin’ for me?”

Taiga paused for a moment and looked at Ken.

Was he?

“I dunno know,” he answered honestly. “Get home safely or whatever.” And he left not looking back but a pit formed in his stomach. Dropping.

The bridge was failing and shaking, and the fall was far.

Chapter 15: I - 14

Chapter Text

Two years whizzed by and Taiga forgot everything. Well, he didn’t exactly he just developed a routine. The only deviation in his life was his growing friendship with Ken. They still did argue, however, they were able to make one joke to one another before an argument broke out. It was progress and whilst it was certainly not worth three years of trial and error, progress was progress and eventually Nagi relented.

She was really the only thing that changed within those two years. She went from loving her hair in braids (all of that time he spent learning how to make French braids or Dutch braids wasted, down the drain!) to having it out and straight. Her nails were still done and often and she traded out blue denim jackets to simple black band tees and denim jeans.

She was less shy too. Less likely to cling to Taiga’s back and more sassy and outgoing. Able to do the rounds of the city on her own whilst Taiga and Ken were forced to bond together. Sitting awkwardly whilst she jumped form person to person, grinning and walking back with gifts upon gifts.

She was truly becoming her own person and living her own life and Taiga was proud. That small envy fading away as she became Kotaki Nagi, a member of RADder.

They were unable to promote as RADder because she wasn’t old enough yet. But around about a year after they first formed, he believed it was a year it could’ve been longer, it could’ve been lesser. But, roughly a year in Taiga’s mind, they had people watching their practices. The closest thing they could have to a performance. People lingered and gave them advice, which Taiga appreciated and so did Ken as they forced them on ‘bonding missions.’ One of them, featuring Ken scaling a tree in order to get an orange cat down as Taiga waited at the bottom prepared to catch him in case he fell. Another one was also a forced camping trip that the three of them went on, his ma and pa supervising because they were admittedly hesitant and worried, where they had to get closer. The campfire leaving many conversations open and a shocking realisation for Taiga.

If he closed his eyes, he could remember the warmth and the cold of the realisation.

X

Nagi was asleep, she was so excited the whole time she fell asleep instantly. His parents were awake and watching them, but far away. They didn’t want to be overbearing and wanted them to do what they needed to do. To talk about what they needed to do however they did, so if they swore a lot, they could do so in good faith and conscience. At least, that was what Taiga believed as his pa grinned at him and led his ma away.

Now, it was just them and it was awkward. They hadn’t said anything as the fire crackled and Ken’s marshmallows toasted in the orange flame. It was the only noise between them. All around them honestly, even the crickets had fell asleep or had left them alone as if they felt the tension and, admittedly, what couldn’t find the tension between them?

Nothing had healed since that fateful conversation with lemonade and coffee. Taiga had accepted his feelings, but acceptance never led to healing not without action and for someone such as him, prepared to act before he thought about anything. It was strange to exist in a space that was so stagnant.

“So, you can’t sleep?” Ken asked interrupting the silence, bringing his marshmallow back from the flames and biting it whole from off the stick.

“I can if I put my mind to it,” Taiga replied easily. Harshly, his defences up before sighing. “But this trip was for us to bond and try to get to like one another.”

“We’ve done a sh*t job, right?”

Taiga hummed easily, bending over and taking a graham cracker from the packet. “I suppose we haven’t killed one another, so progress.”

“If that was progress, we achieved that a year ago meaning no progress has been made,” Ken sighed wistfully.

Taiga knew he was right. More often than not, Ken was always right but Taiga didn’t want to admit it. So he stayed silent.

Ken brought him to silence too much for his own personal taste and it was irritating. Annoying. Disappointing. A whole plethora of negative words that swirled around his tongue, that choked up his throat that he was unable to say.

So he said nothing.

What was life when nothing was easier than something?

“You know, I wish we could be friends,” Ken spoke up again. “I wish we could be, but I don’t think we can at this point.”

“The damage is irreversible,” Taiga confirmed and Ken laughed bitterly. It was low and hollow. It sounded like someone had struck the chord of a bass guitar, foreboding even. He looked back at Ken and sighed.

“I wish we were more mature.”

“I agree.”

“You know, you’re really a good brother,” Ken complimented. It was genuine. It was nice.

“I know I am, but Nagi’s a great little sister,” Taiga replied easily. “She’s a brat most of the time but she’s genuinely a sweet person. You’re good with her too. You’re like a surrogate brother to her.”

“I am?”

Taiga hummed. “She goes to you more often with her problems than me now.”

“I didn’t… I didn’t realise that… Are you…”

“Upset?” Taiga finished and he shrugged. “I hate you a lot, but you’re not too much of a bastard to miss lead her. You treat her as if she were your own sister. You look after her a lot, so I trust you and if she doesn’t want to come to me, what can I do about it?”

Ken sighed and nodded. “You know, you’re really smart sometimes.”

Taiga wanted to refute the ‘sometimes’ but he knew that it was true so he stayed silent. “I’m her older brother, I’m wiser about emotions and relationships.”

“Is that why you kept saying it wouldn’t work out with Tsuki?”

“If you want the truth, I was just saying whatever I could so she would leave me alone. I know you’re charming an’ all, but come on, I was going to f*cking hang myself in front of her and ruin her life because she was ruining the few braincells I had.”

Ken chuckled, “I can’t even deny that. She drained all of mine.”

“I liked Tomoko though, I miss her,” Taiga admitted.

“We didn’t love one another. I’m glad one of my girlfriends got your approval though.”

“She played basketball with Nagi, she worried about her anemia, she made you tolerable. She was good.”

Ken shook his head fondly. “You can’t go one minute without giving me a back handed compliment. Can you?”

“It’s not within my nature to do so. You should know that.”

“I do.”

There was a pause. “I think this is progress,” Ken spoke up slowly. “I mean, we got to somewhat talk to one another about something deeper.”

“I think it is too. Don’t expect it again,” Taiga rushed to add. “I’ll cut my tongue out next time.”

“You wouldn’t be able to sing.”

“I love how you think I wouldn’t find a way to be able to sing but be unable to talk.”

There was a beat again and Ken scoffed fondly, tipping his head back. The fireplace was so warm and it illuminated him so nicely. So perfectly and Taiga had to admit he looked handsome. Better than any other person he had seen. It emphasised the more handsome parts of Ken like his amber eyes that melded with the orange glow, the structure of his jaw and-

Oh.

That was strange.

Taiga had never admired Ken that way. He had done it with other men whenever they watched films, done it repeatedly admittedly that it was pathetic and weird. But. Ken? That was strange and he was doused in a cold bucket of water.

It must’ve shown on his face because Ken froze for a moment and looked at him. Concerned really. Interested mostly.

“You alright there?”

Taiga sucked in a breath. “Fine. Perfectly fine.”

Ken nodded to himself. “I’m gonna get some sleep. It’s gettin’ cold out.”

It was.

“Night then,” Taiga offered easily. And Ken paused in his steps.

“Night to you too.”

And Taiga could breathe again. Sucking in huge gasps of air as he looked at Ken’s retreating back and, for the moment, he wanted to scream and cry. He wanted to deny finding Ken attractive because in everything he watched, attraction was followed up with loving someone and Taiga was simply impossible of that. There was no cliché, butterflies that swirled in his stomach and made him want to throw up. There was no cliché heart skipping a beat stare when he looked at him and, most of all, love never really formed from hatred. He knew that, everything everywhere taught that and yet... Taiga couldn’t help doubt it.

He was certain, for once in his life, that he did not love Ken. That was something he was sure about but physical attraction often led to love, at least that was what he knew so what if he did? But that wouldn’t explain his jealousy and hatred. The twisting and sick poison every time he had to muster out a compliment that was not you ‘you’re charming.’ That didn’t explain sh*t and if he did find Ken attractive, surely some type of love or feeling existed but all Taiga felt was a numbness and the odd sense of irritation.

How could that be?

It simply could not but the more he denied it and rationalised it as stupid as it was, the more his head hurt and his eyes and soon, he was crying. Pathetically, he was crying. He stopped himself as the first and only tear fell. The first and only tear left his eye.

He was confused. For once in his life where everything was simple, had a routine and he understood his role and his place and his relationships. He was confused.

Attraction led to love and attraction had to have love for the beginning. Where was the love? Why was he incapable of feeling something so simple for someone he was meant to? And he knew he was meant to, because he was meant to love Ken as a friend or a colleague or a partner. And he was utterly incapable of that, only able to love Nagi. His baby sister. His everything.

Taiga sucked a deep breath in as the fire dwindled. He had to go in and sleep soon, but how could he sleep when everything around him was chaotic and falling apart. All he knew, all he had ever believed was ruined and he was a sh*tty person most of all as simple minded as his thoughts were. As one tracked, they were and how easy they were to follow. Going from A to B to C and so on, and so forth. For how logical they were, it was too chaotic. There was something wrong.

When he was older, he would realise it was simply natural for him and other people really. To find someone physically attractive and yet, not love them romantically. That was something people did experience, and Taiga was simply a young child following ideology of movies that wanted to promote that love did stem from physical attraction, but right now? He wallowed and he wallowed, and he jumped around Ken. The moment their hands grazed against one another for a second too long, he jumped and pulled it away. Moved it away from him and laughed awkwardly. Whenever a girl walked up to him, gushing about Ken and asking him to give her his number and he was cool about it – genuinely, he wasn’t jealous – he always hesitated because they usually talked about how good looking, he was and Taiga had to agree. But the words were always clipped and felt like someone was stabbing him with how slowly they left his throat.

There was a complexity to their friendship, their allyship that Taiga had to ignore because if he acted on it, they were all f*cked. Their dreams. The steps they had made to getting across the wall? All of it would be down the drain and Taiga was a selfless boy, at least he portrayed himself to be whether he was considering the feelings he was keeping to himself and the doubt he lived with wished to beg to differ.

But.

He tried to be selfless and so choking himself to death on the complexities of his feelings and his attraction to Ken. The way he had to stop himself from actively seeking Ken out in a crowd. From the subtle glances at him and, biggest of all, engaging in mindless small talk.

They had done so more from that day, even on the train back. It was the closest thing to a friendship. A close thing to healing.

X

He recalled it all clearly even after one year. But now, now he had to treat that as though it were normal and that nothing was wrong. And nothing was. At least, that was what he told everyone, and he had made it through – by the skin of his teeth – he had made it through most of middle school and now it was his first day in his last year.

“Oi! Taiga!” Ken called out to him as he stumbled down the steps, Nagi keeping him up late the night before due to her excitement at being able to finally perform in Live Houses. Though she was irritated that they couldn’t do it that evening.

It was cute but it made him oversleep in order to entertain her because for as mature as she wanted to be seen. She was still his baby sister at heart and slipping into childish tendencies was only natural for her.

“Shut the f*ck up,” Taiga called out as he opened the door and slammed it promptly in Ken’s face. Heading to their kitchen to grab his bag and finish tying his tie.

It was strange going to the same middle school as her now, even if it was only a year. She must’ve forgotten how Taiga acted when he didn’t have an ample amount of sleep since she looked at him sheepishly as she drank some tea at the table.

“Brat,” he mumbled before ruffling her hair. She cried aloud before widening her eyes.

“We’re going to be late! I need to fix my hair now!” Nagi huffed, pushing him away.

“We? You.”

“You are not leaving without me!”

Taiga shrugged and she stomped her foot down on the floor before looking for a brush. She brushed her hair blindly, glaring at him before giving up. Seemingly satisfied for her job that she had done blind.

“Now let’s go before Ken busts down the door.”

“Nagi, if that bastard did that, I would beat the living sh*t outta him,” Taiga explained easily. Fixing his shirt easily as Nagi rolled her eyes and repacked her bag.

“I know, but I really don’t want blood on my new school bag.”

The door began to sound as Ken began banging on it again. “I should walk you out,” she teased easily, getting out of her seat. She was taller now, no longer a whole head underneath him. Well, she was really, but she was 5 foot 3 and that mattered to her that she was tall so Taiga would indulge her.

“You are a nuisance,” he huffed as she handed him a bag.

“A nuisance that is being courteous and made you a big lunch.”

They walked side by side as he took the bag and she opened the door. She grinned at the bastard and flung herself around him. “Ken~~~ Oh this is exciting!”

“This really isn’t,” Taiga sighed as he locked the front door.

“It will be, look at us! RADder! Taking over middle school!”

“I’m going to commit a f*cking murder.”

“That’s your sister.”

“I know it is,” Taiga sighed. “Come on, let’s go.”

“Alright, alright,” she said looking at them and holding her hands up. “Remember, we are going to COL tonight to try and get a reservation at the gig in two days.”

“How could we forget?”

“You kept me up all night about this.”

“But you’re you two, sometimes you forget things really easily,” she justified easily as she walked between them. moving from side to side.

Taiga had a long day ahead of him.

#

Middle school was like it was every day. He and Ken argued, pitied against one another, made up and Taiga was harassed by their fan girls because for some reason they all decided to start liking him. He had a really long f*cking day.

The only reprieve was seeing Nagi around the school as she went from person to person, class to class, after school activity to after school activity. She joined the basketball club because that was Nagi and, of course she would! He had learnt that on their way home where she talked their ears off before they entered COL, and Taiga was praying they could perform because Nagi’s enthusiasm was too much. Even if he did love it. He had a tolerance for things.

He also wanted her to be happy as soon as can be. And if he had to fight God himself, he would. He wasn't a religious bastard unless you counted the way he doted on Nagi to be something akin to religion, then he would agree easily. Simply. The words rolling off his tongue.

Unlike his feelings about a certain someone that teetered on friendship hesitantly whilst he battled himself and Taiga had to ask, what was love?

That was a story for another day, right now? It was about getting that damn gig at COL for Nagi and that was all.

Chapter 16: I - 15

Chapter Text

They didn’t get a gig at COL. All the slots were booked and well, no one dropped out. Nagi tried to act like she wasn’t upset, but Taiga and Ken knew she was. She deflated immediately and forced a smile on her face, thanked him for letting them know and they left with grace.

She had gotten herself too excited…

But, thankfully, CRAWL GREEN was having an event the night after. And the owner let them perform which was where they were now.

Nagi was nervous, it was clear. Bouncing on the tips of her toes and tapping the songs on her thighs. Ken too was nervous admittedly, he kept opening his mouth and shutting it. So indecisive as normal. He would turn to Taiga and stare at him, look back to Nagi and try to formulate an answer something to say. But, in the end, he stayed silent and merely watched on nervous and tense. Hesitant really.

Taiga, however, he was… hmm… his feelings were hard to describe. He wasn’t nervous necessarily, but it wasn’t a wholly wrong description per say. His hands felt clammy, if only a little, but he seemed some what calm. It was like he was feeling everything yet nothing at the same time. Like he knew he was meant to feel scared and nervous, hesitant even, but he didn’t. However, his body reacted like he was feeling all of those things.

“I feel sick,” Nagi admitted as the crowd got louder. The realisation setting in. “What if we suck?”

“I don’t think that’s possible,” Taiga sighed as she walked over and rested her head on his shoulder.

“Think or know?”

“Think,” Taiga answered and Nagi groaned. “You’ll be fine. We will be fine.”

“No we won’t,” Nagi huffed. “I’m too young for this!”

“And you wonder why they wouldn’t let you perform until now,” Ken added thoughtfully, tapping his foot on the floor.

“I thought I’d be fine and this would be like every other performance, but it feels different somehow,” Nagi sighed. “I know we can do it but I’m scared.”

“Everyone is, look around,” Ken advised, he glanced at Taiga carefully asking if he was overstepping. Taiga nodded his head and Ken continued whilst Nagi held Taiga’s hand. “I don’t think anyone is calm, no one is. A live performance is different to a practice. You’re judged worse and it’s not like a random battle where people can excuse it. But, if you freak out. If you lose a grip of yourself…”

“You’ll lose the crowds control and interest and whilst this isn’t a battle event, you need the crowd to love you at all events,” Taiga finished when Ken was lost. He wasn’t the best at consoling, he was factual and would use real stories, but he didn’t have one because he kept his cool. He had to keep his cool because if he broke, their legacy as frail as it was would’ve been over before it began, and the fate would rest on his shoulders, and he knew he would have failed.

He couldn’t fail because then he was helpless, and he hated being helpless. Being helpless meant he couldn’t do anything for anyone and if he had to suffer alone, that was fine. But if he made Nagi and Ken suffer? It wasn’t. It really wasn’t.

“How did you two carry the burden?”

That was what it was. A burden of talent and being admired of the town loving them to begin with.

“Determination.”

“I had something to prove.”

Answers so similar and so dissimilar and different. So complex and strange to put a finger on. It was odd, like a mirror. Taiga believed, he knew it more accurately, that their answers were the same until a degree and the words bounced and refracted. They were not perfect reflections even if they were, at some point, meant to be. It was a strange feeling and knowledge that Taiga possessed, and he thought that Ken knew it too as the words lingered in the air around them.

Musicians, natural born ones like them had to be close to words and have a grasp on them. In order to write lyrics or understand a song deeper than the music, deeper than the beat or the rhythm or the chords or the way you had to play it, you needed to understand words. You had to understand the complexities of them and how one could say so much and yet nothing at all, but they could say so little and say everything. Cracking open the world and its secrets wide open, the door broken and busted down and all they could say was ‘Yes, you were partially correct.’ But someone could explain something so long and with the prettiest imagery, but it would amount to nothing at all because it never targeted the heart or was something akin to real. Smothered in honey and lies with the imagery and the complimentary language, needlessly complex.

Taiga understood their words in a way that many wouldn’t. Many would take them at face value, but he knew that they were not wholly dissimilar in the way they carried Nagi’s dream and wish on their shoulders. In their heart. In everything they did, honestly.

“I’m sorry for burdening you both,” Nagi apologised as she glanced at the stage.

“We took it on willingly,” Taiga reassured her. “Besides, it’s not your fault you’re a baby.”

“I am not a baby,” she huffed, pouting slightly and Taiga chuckled quietly.

“If you insist.”

Nagi huffed and turned to Ken who held his hands up in mock surrender. “It is not for me to get involved in.”

“But… Ken… you’re like a brother to me,” she whimpered, and Ken choked on his own spit.

“Please die quietly if you’re going to die,” Taiga sighed as Ken began to choke to death. “Seriously?”

“It was unexpected,” Ken tried to justify between deep breaths in trying to control himself. Honestly. Taiga rolled his eyes but said nothing more.

“How?” Nagi asked genuinely. “I tease you the way I do Taiga and I never treat you differently from him.”

“But, it’s shocking for you to admit it,” Ken mumbled and Nagi rolled her eyes. She swatted him over the back of the head.

“I think the nerves have broken your braincells Ken,” she muttered before jumping as the announcer ran backstage. Making sure to get the order of the performances correctly.

Now, now Taiga felt the nerves and the anxiety and excitement swell up at once as they were announced for the middle. Going in the middle was a difficult feat, some people were excited and liked going in the middle because you didn’t have the pressure of going first and setting the energy levels, but you weren’t last to make sure you were memorable. But going in the middle came with its own challenges.

No one remembered the middle of a movie or a song. They would never remember the changed chorus but remembered the first and last. You had to work harder to stand out and make a statement. Be the best you could be.

No one acknowledged that fact, but Taiga had learnt it whilst he bore that burden. He learnt it and realised it because he hated being filler which was why he always went first and people thought he was a fool for doing so, and maybe he was to a degree. But Taiga understood people decently well as he had to understand himself and his feelings.

Ordinarily, he would’ve complained. But now? He had to deal with the card’s life had dealt him and so, so he would perform to the best of his abilities. His capabilities. Standing strong on stage beside Nagi and Ken and helping their performance. If he slacked, the other two could slack and it would be noticeable. He wouldn’t allow that for RADder had to be the best. They would break that brick wall and set new boundaries. Harder ones for people to reach and even dream of. Stretching high up in the sky, practically unscalable by anyone without experience or passion like them.

They could do it and they would be, they had to be, unfor-f*cking-gettable.

#

Nagi squealed as she got off stage, jumping gleefully as they heard the crowd still cheering and roaring their name. It was a powerful chant even if it was only one word repeated.

RADder. RADder. RADder.

Taiga couldn’t lie, but it made his heart race and he too felt giddy. Wanting to be like Nagi and jumping all around but someone had to stay grounded between them. Someone had to stay sensible and whilst Ken seemed numb and neutral it was because he was thinking.

Mid way through the show, they were doing a dual rap. Normal and then they made eye contact with the crowd, needed to keep people interested and the few young women got to scream and fawn over them. When they made eye contact, they spotted someone at the back writing.

They hadn’t seen them before.

Taiga thought he was losing it, everything going hazy under the fog and the bright lights but the look on Ken’s face afterwards and they had to walk backwards for the sake of choreography was enough proof that he had not imagined it. That there was someone in the back of the live house with a notepad watching them intensely, and it was intensely. He could feel the stare in the back of his mind even now and it made his skin crawled.

He liked being admired. That wasn’t a lie, he had to if he wanted to make it and be big and famous, he would have to accept the admiration. But that gaze, the harshness of the stare made him uncomfortable and something in him, something said it was a bad idea whatever was to come and the thunder over head didn’t make him feel better.

Thunder and lightning season was November through to the February and this was the middle of April so for the clouds to be rolling over and the sky to be dark as they exited the live house…

It made him wary, but he didn’t want to dampen Nagi’s mood as she raced to their parents. But Taiga knew as he and Ken watched the person with the pad race by and past, slipping into the darkness and some alley ways and he fought himself to recoil and hold back a shiver. It was unsettling.

Chapter 17: I - 16

Chapter Text

The person. The person was there every time they performed Taiga realised after they had completed over ten performances. They were always there. Watching them and Taiga was intrigued, irritated more accurately, but intrigued, nonetheless.

They seemed… important. Carrying themselves with an air of superiority as he surveyed the room and lingered. They always seemed so important, people fawning over themselves to please them, and Taiga was interested. But every time, every time without fail he would mention it to adults, concerned for himself, Ken and his little sister. With what they wanted from them because it was most certainly RADder they wanted.

They were disinterested during other performances Taiga realised, peering through the wings as subtly as he could and tracking them with his eyes. Never letting them leave his eyesight as they watched all the performances uninterested in what was going on until RADder came on and that harsh, steady gaze was focused on him again. His skin crawling as he did whatever he had to do to get the crowd hyped.

For a while, he didn’t know what was going on, but he would learn. They all would.

#

“So, what if we perform an original song?” Nagi suggested one day at lunch, bounding over to the boys and sitting at their table. Ken and Taiga’s friend groups had somewhat merged due to the two boys taking up more than enough of the other’s time in order to talk about music or performances or the mystery person in live houses.

“Lovely weather we are having Nagi, I agree,” Taiga teased her as she tapped her fingers on the table impatiently.

“You’re an asshole,” she grumbled, and Taiga stared at her.

“I will wash your mouth out with holy water.”

“You wouldn’t dare. You haven’t been to church for years.”

“I wouldn’t?”

“Okay let’s not threaten to purge the demon in Nagi’s soul yet,” Ken interrupted looking over at her. “How do you propose we perform an original song?”

“Taiga and I have been song writing since before we could count to ten and I know you have a DJ set and have been working on things,” Nagi grinned and Taiga looked to Ken.

Ken flushed under the stare and sighed.

“They’re really unpolished…”

Taiga snorted, “So long as they have some flow and are workable…”

“Why don’t we use your songs?”

“My songs? I sit and use an acoustic guitar,” Taiga shrugged easily. “Nothing live house worthy.”

“Somehow,” Nagi muttered quietly as she stole one of his yakisoba buns. “But seriously, it would set us apart from everyone else and… well….”

“You’re pulling my leg here,” Taiga mumbled. “If you two want us to perform original songs, then so be,” he shrugged easily. “I’m fine with whatever.”

“You always are,” Nagi complained softly before turning to her bag and dropping a mountain of audio files on the table in front of Ken. She grinned up at the boy who kept blinking profusely and, for a moment, Taiga was glad he didn’t agree to help them.

Taiga was a competent music and song writer yes, he understood words and rhyme and meaning and life. But, Taiga was not confident. There was a difference, a clear one to make. It was why he did songs that were softer and most certainly not for street music because he was not that confident. It would grow over time and he wanted his first work that was produced properly to be amazing and dispel any doubts he had. He just needed it to be right and if he had to wait and hand over the reigns to them, he would because his impulsivity leaked into his music. It was a clear thing and it could, often, ruin music tracks he was writing because Taiga never planned anything. He didn’t plan the music and let it write itself, he didn’t plan the feelings and let them naturally flow.

Except, the natural flow was too chaotic and messy. There was no cohesive or coherent story to be told in the song simply because he lacked one within himself. It was harsh, probably a devastating pill to swallow, but wholly true in his world. His music was just unrefined in the sense that he knew it too well and that they were all the similar and the same, that they were one and the same, so it reflected him.

Ken sighed and placed his head on the table. “Nagi…”

“I was bored and all alone, don’t you want me to do something productive?”

Ken looked up and dragged a hand down his face and Taiga just chuckled to himself quietly.

“Do I get any say in a refusal?”

“But… Ken… this is for our dream… my dream…” she began, and Ken waved a hand in her face to stop her in her tracks. He took one of the audio files and sighed.

“Hand me a pen.”

And Nagi was a happy child once more.

#

Which led to them now, in the beginning of May getting ready to perform their first original song. Taiga had been dragged in to help them make it, polish it off and add his Taiga flair – whatever that meant – into it which he did gladly. And they worked together until the dead of night, Ken having to stay over and prompting really weird feelings for Taiga within himself that he couldn’t explain but were more of a random injection of emotion into his soul. Swelling and pulsating then leading him to feel sick because wow you should not feel emotions like these for a rival turned partial friend unless you liked them more but that was impossible. He knew that.

Again, Taiga needed to rip his heart out and his eyes to stop admiring Ken under the moonlight as he joined them in Taiga’s room because Nagi claimed it had the best inspiration (whatever that meant). She sat at the window ledge, perched on it actually, her knees to her chest and her notebook on her knees, pen working away before she ripped out a page and launched it at the bin, Ken. Whilst Ken sat at Taiga’s desk, his homework forgotten on the floor, tweaking his DJ mixing kit as he looked over at Nagi and frowned, humming something under his breath with the moonlight on his face and he looked…

Taiga couldn’t begin to describe it as he was forced to work on lyrics. Trying to force words out of his system yet keep them in because too many words and too many things that were similar or obvious and his whole world would be on blast. His whole heart really. It was strange, weird and he didn’t know if it was in a good way or a bad way brining him to the edge of a mental break down, so he wrote and wrote until he heard the first snores of Nagi, the sounds of music fading and everything around him was black like the ink in his pen.

“Ready?” Ken asked him as Nagi worked on the song under her breath.

“Always,” Taiga replied easily, clearing his throat as Ken clapped him on the shoulder. The touch felt hot under Taiga’s leather jacket. Searing. Burning.

“Good, you did a great job on lyrics.”

“You didn’t do too bad on the mixin’,” Taiga offered easily looking at Ken.

“I know I didn’t, but Nagi just get’s me,” he shrugged easily. “You gettin’ an in ear soon?”

“Nah, I don’t think so.”

There was a silence because when wasn’t there with them. It was predictable at this point and expected those long pregnant pauses. Those pauses of unspoken words that they could never speak for they still argued too much and said too many harsh words. They still pissed one another off and hated one another deeply, but Taiga’s life had to be a sick and twisted joke at some point. Full of complications that led to anger being his best friend when it came to Ken.

Whether it was because he failed to truly comprehend his own feelings or a genuine distaste towards Ken would always remain unclear.

Taiga turned his attention to the crowd and the hushed whispers. The town had started to flock to each of their performances. Waiting for them. Eager for them.

“Do you think they’re out there?”

“I think if they weren’t you and I are blind as f*ck,” Ken replied. “I want to know what they want.”

“They gotta have another goal…”

“Who?” Nagi asked heading over, taking a seat next to them. Breathing deeply, rubbing her chest.

“You need to rest up.”

“And I do but you two are having a mother’s meeting and leaving me out!”

“It’s nothin’,” Ken insisted easily. “Have you taken tablets?”

“Can’t go on them yet. They need to run more tests,” she admitted quietly. “I hate this.”

“I know you do,” Ken offered whilst Nagi rested her head on Taiga’s shoulder, running his thumb over the top of her head smoothing her hair and pressing a kiss to it.

“I just want to be better…”

“There ain’t no miracle cure for this,” Taiga reminded her. It was the sad truth that there simply was not a magical way to heal her even though they all wanted to. If there was, if he excelled at biology, he would’ve cracked the code. But he didn’t. No one could.

“I wish there was,” she sighed pitifully before the presenter walked on stage again. She shook her head and got up, it was a slow thing, her hand gripping his to steady herself, the nails poking into his skin. She took a deep breathe and took Ken’s outstretched hand and stood up.

“Let’s burn this place to the ground!” she vowed, turning to them but she looked too tired and sleepy for it. And Taiga was worried. Concerned but he had no time to pull out as their name got called and Nagi headed to the stage knowing once she walked on, they couldn’t be pulled out.

Taiga gritted his teeth, clenched his jaw and stormed on stage. He couldn’t help it really, Nagi was smart she knew the rules of the street even if she started late because the street loved her and she knew he would want to pull out if she was having a bad day. But, no, she had to be strong and carry her burden alone and chase the dream pointlessly when she was hurting. It was aggravating. Irritating and infuriating.

He couldn’t even force happiness in during their song as he worked with Nagi and Ken. He didn’t even notice the person in the crowd. He was one track minded and all that mattered was killing Nagi when they got off stage because she was such a f*cking brat.

#

Nagi kept evading him, jumping from person to person, conversation to conversation. Talking people’s ears off about the most pointless things that drove him up the wall as he lingered attempting to catch her as she moved to her next person. And the next and-

“So, you listened to my advice,” someone began, and Taiga had never heard their voice. It was gravelly. Rough. Foreboding.

Taiga spun around from looking at the wall, glaring a hole into it as he listened for when Nagi’s conversation had an opportunity to jump in, and looked at the person. He made eye contact with Ken and the two of them straightened their backs and stared at the stranger. The person from the crowd.

“Of course, I did,” Nagi huffed. “You told me prove that we are serious about music and our dream, prove that we know music well and we did. It was an original song, what could be better?”

The person glanced her over, took in her standing and stature, the frown on her lips, her hands on her hips, the way she glared up at him and flicked her hair over her shoulders. Then he moved to analysing them and they must’ve noticed the irritation and anger on Taiga’s face. His clenched fist that was surely turning white from how tightly it was balled up because they smirked a little. Before moving to Ken and the gap between them.

“Did you two fight?”

“When don’t we?” Taiga snapped easily. It was a lie, they hadn’t fought all day which was a miracle but they were about to considering this lie that Taiga was in the midst of telling. It was better than admitting that he was angry at Nagi and that person.

“Disrespectful to the term partner, no?”

“The f*ck do you know about that?” Taiga continued and Nagi turned to face him, eyes widened in fear, Ken latching onto Taiga’s arm to yank him back.

“I just heard things. You don’t need to get so defensive unless-“

“Unless nothing,” Ken interrupted coolly. “Who are you? Why are you here? Why did you tell Nagi that? What do you want from us? Why have you been here for weeks?”

“Introductions… Aren’t we past that?”

“No, no we aren’t. At least, Taiga and I aren’t,” Ken explained.

The person hummed, contemplated the words before moving into his pockets. “The name’s Travis Buckley.”

Taiga and Ken stared at him as he offered nothing more and Taiga, well his anger and irritation was growing. Who the f*ck did Travis f*cking Buckley think he was? With his stupid f*cking trench coat, his arrogance, his weird behaviour of staring down teenagers, his ugly f*cking haircut and stupid smirk that Taiga wanted to punch off his face. Maybe, if he were lucky, punch in all of his f*cking teeth and make him look like the idiotic bastard he knew he was because someone needed to teach him f*cking respect.

“Tha’ meant to mean somethin’?”

“Taiga, he’s a producer and contractor for a record label,” Nagi spoke up softly. “Give them your card.”

He didn’t make a move and Nagi tapped her foot impatiently. “I’m not getting any younger.”

“That attitude, that’s cute. Not for me or anyone else, but cute for TV if you agree to sign up with us. The attitude of your team…” Travis stated as he handed the boys a white card. Taiga ripped it from his hand and stared at the writing, scoffing to himself.

“It’s just late,” Ken offered diplomatically, shoving the card in his pocket. “I think we should discuss this somewhere else.”

“Of course, Shiraishi, how about that café by the flower shop?” Travis suggested.

“That is perfect,” Ken assured him, holding his hand out. “Is twelve alright for you?”

“Perfect,” Travis returned, shaking his hands and staring at the Kotaki’s. “Nagi, we shall discuss more of what I wanted to tonight tomorrow. I hope your brother and partner will not have fought again because this is awfully hostile. The people don’t love hostile.”

Taiga poked his cheek with his tongue as Nagi turned and smiled to Travis.

“I can assure you, they will not. Right, boys?”

“I make no promises,” Taiga admitted and Ken shrugged.

“We can try.”

“See?”

Travis thought for a moment and nodded. “It was a pleasure to listen to your original song, Nagi.”

“It wasn’t mine al-“

“That can wait for tomorrow, right?”

Nagi faltered for the moment and stared at Travis warily before nodding. “It can. Good night, Travis.”

“Good night to you, Nagi, Shiraishi, Kotaki.” And with that Travis left.

Taiga waited two minutes, saying nothing except letting his foot bounce before walking outside and kicking over a bin. Sending it clattering to the floor but that wasn’t enough. It didn’t dispel his anger and rage, so he punched the wall. His fist probably shattering against the brick from the sound it made and the recoil her felt, blood oozing from his knuckles as he sucked in a deep breathe.

“Next time Mr Buckley speaks to me I am putting him six foot f*cking deep,” he vowed easily looking over at Ken. “Your parents are lawyers, right?”

“Yes?”

“Get them there, because I trust Travis and smarmy f*cking bastard life as far as I can throw.”

“I was getting them there anyway because that was underhanded. I mean, why didn’t you tell us Nagi?”

She shrugged. Her eyes were watering and her bottom lip trembling ever so slightly, unnoticeable to most but not him. Not her older brother. “He told me not to. I thought he had…”

Taiga sucked in another deep breath and held his arms out for her to walk into them. He held her tightly and rocked her back and forth in the hold, pressing soft kisses to her head. As she began to cry softly, “I would’ve thought the same.”

“We all would’ve for the dream,” Ken confirmed easily. “Now we need to know everything he said to you. We need to be prepared and someone needs to be calm.”

“I was calm until someone nearly over worked herself.”

“I’m-“

“No apologising,” Taiga scolded her as she looked up at him, tears running down her face and stuck to his shirt. He swiped them away with his thumb and shook his head.

“Come on, let’s go home, have some food and watch a movie. Calm down and then we can do business.”

“Does calming down involve disinfecting your hand and getting that checked out?” Ken asked and Taiga nodded.

And that night, that was one of the first nights of change between them all. A new line was created, a new foe was made and most of all, trust was established. They needed one another and that night, they seemed like partners. Real partners. Friends even.

But Taiga could’ve been deluding himself into being a hopeless fool. Desperate for some good from that emotionally taxing day that made him scream and cry and yell out. That caused his hand pain as his parents yelled at him whilst bandaging him up. He needed something good and this, this had to be it, right?

There was no other way, at least, not in his mind there was nothing that was fathomable to explain their relationship.

But he was viewing the world in rose tinted glasses. He had never seen the pain and the bad of that lingered and began to surface that evening. So clear to everyone and yet, they all lived around it. Working hard and together, considering hypotheticals, moving the house phone into Taiga’s room as they called Ken’s parents, practically staying on the phone with them. The receiver attached to Ken’s face as they wrote new notes.

They needed to be prepared but most of all calm.

When had that ever happened with RADder though?

Chapter 18: I - 17

Chapter Text

Taiga was on edge, his eyes were burning, stinging as he looked at the world around him that was buzzing by as he took a drink of coffee from what they ordered once more. They were all shattered and confused, Nagi was worn out from how much they made her talk and analysed her meeting with the bastard. Going over each and every word countless of times and seeing if there was something more to the words than they knew or expected. And Ken’s parents, oh, his poor parents.

They too were tired, tapping their hands on a large binder on the table going over each and every note the children had handed them and each and every piece of research. Preparing themselves thoroughly.

Ken was the spitting image of them admittedly. He looked just like them, his amber eyes coming from his father specifically and his brown hair his mother. He was a mix of their personality, his – debatable – level headedness came from his mother and his fast temper and quick actions his father. But his caring nature was from both of them as they fussed over both Nagi and Taiga and did not treat Taiga as lesser for the number of times he had bullied Ken. Instead, Taiga was simply… Taiga. A child that they were kind to, and he appreciated it.

“Are you ready?” Nagi asked the boys softly, playing with her food nervously (or because she didn’t want it anymore).

“As I can be,” Taiga returned, “At least I feel more prepared.”

Nagi frowned and shrank into herself at that, but Taiga shook his head. “Stop feeling bad.”

“I can’t. You know I can’t.”

Ken frowned and ruffled her hair. “You just have to try; besides he seems to like you best.”

“That’s because I tried killing him.”

“That was reasonable if a little self-destructive if he is influential.”

“Do not encourage the violence,” Nagi sighed shaking her head before perking up. “He’s coming.”

And they were all there. They straightened their backs and each one of them took a deep breath in whilst he walked closer and closer. But he wasn’t alone this time, though, neither were they with Ken’s parents slamming their folders closed and squeezing their hands under the table. Ready to do anything, take on the world even and Taiga felt calm knowing they had their backs.

He wished that his parent’s were there, but they weren’t. They had work but they wanted to be there, they had considered calling in sick, but money was tight at the moment, and they had to decide. That decision was to not call in sick and, instead, to go to work and hope that the Shriaishi’s or their own children informed them of what happened in the meeting after the fact. Which they all said they would but if it was God awful and a waste of time, they probably wouldn’t in all fairness.

Travis entered with his companion. A tall woman with pink hair that cascaded down her front and back in nice waves and seemed like the ocean and water flowing. She had a kind smile on her face, but Taiga felt a sinister energy from her. She had pretty and, admittedly, hypnotising green eyes as she surveyed the café and stared him down. Smirking slightly, the corner of her pink and blush lips turning up a little before dropping and she seemed so natural and impassive. Like there was nothing there to be sensed or used as a weakness and Taiga felt ill. Physically ill and he wondered if it was too late to leave and fake being sick.

“RADder and…” Travis trailed off sitting on the bench across from them, hand out and ready to shake the hands of the Shiraishi’s.

“Shiraishi Yuki and that is my husband, Shiraishi Akira,” Mrs Shiraishi explained, taking his hand firmly and shaking his hand harshly. “Who is accompanying you?”

“Zara, attorney,” the girl answered easily and Nagi raised her brows and turned to face Taiga. He reciprocated because she did not look like an attorney.

“Now, let’s get down to business. We would like to contract RADder to be under our label,” Travis began instantly, pushing a contract towards the children before Ken slid it over to his parent’s. Though, he was reading it as it was in front of them, eagerly scanning the pages.

“And you were originally going to do that without an adult present?” Akira questioned. “In fact, do not answer. I can see why. Paragraph four, subsection-“

#

Taiga’s head was going to explode by the end of the day. He sat on the ground with Ken and Nagi looking at them as they contemplated the offer. It would take a while for a final offer to be made since the contract had to be revised, which Ken agreed with as he talked about it once caffeine got into his system. But it was a good offer, Nagi had stopped breathing as she heard what was being said. Schedules would be handled, the chance of world tour, music would be live recordings, they could be on TV and more.

Taiga, admittedly, was swayed by it too. Enamoured by the idea but… he was hesitant. He liked how they were and their original song, well song but he knew that they were working on more because Nagi could not stop humming a new tune which Ken also hummed under his breath. He liked their current pace, it let them be children but the dream. Nagi’s dream.

“We keep talking ourselves in circles,” Ken huffed, and for a moment, he seemed older and whilst they were fifteen, Taiga had a glimpse into the future.

A future where Ken had wrinkles and grey hair by the age of twenty-five from how stressful this music business was. A future where Nagi might’ve been over worked because they couldn’t choose when or what schedules they were doing. A future with an overdemanding manager that chose everything for them and monitored them like a hawk. A future where their music seemed dead and for corporate means. A future where Taiga had to hold his tongue and be civil, well as civil as he could be and there was really no point in their dream.

In that future, they were living their dream, but they were not living their dream and yet…

Could he justify the sacrifice?

If Nagi were to smile by the end possibly. If Ken wanted it too, potentially. Taiga’s only role was to live and make his sister smile and Ken too he supposed considering he was oddly fond of the man and did like the man as something more than friends. Would it damage himself and his reputation, maybe life? Possibly but… there was nothing that would stop Taiga if they willed it so he took a deep breath in and sighed.

“I’m fine with whatever you two want,” Taiga shrugged. “I know we should stop, but I just wanna state that before we go.”

“So, it’s up to us?” Nagi asked hesitantly and Taiga nodded.

“Are you sure?” Ken inquired easily.

“We make music either way. So long as it doesn’t hinder us in this town and our practices, I don’t care. You two have more to care about like friends and school. I don’t give a f*ck about either of those.”

Ken sighed thoughtfully and nodded. “I’m gonna think it over tonight.”

Nagi nodded hesitantly. “I suppose I will too.”

The sun began to set as silence fell between them. Too many words were caught in the air and it was suffocating. Stifling and Taiga was unable to breathe. It was claustrophobic and sickening so he got up. “’m gonna sing. Do you wanna…?” and both of the other two leaped up to their feet.

Singing was easy and natural for the three of them. It didn’t require thinking and, in that moment, none of them wanted to think because there were too many conflicting thoughts that existed in their minds. Too many conflicting beliefs in their heart from how it beat and skipped a beat when they pondered and contemplated the future. Something that was so much bigger than themselves and Taiga wanted to smash that wall, but at this age? He was unsure. He needed someone, something that could guide him and was not a conceited smarmy bastard, but they were thirteen, fourteen and fifteen respectively. They were too young to be considering something that made the whole world and existed in a realm larger than them and yet…

He shook his head as he held his microphone, his heart was calming down and his brain stopping it’s endless and repetitive thoughts. Soon, there was nothing in his soul, but the sense and sound of song and it was just right. And it was painful, and it was cathartic to be more accurate in all fairness. It felt nice to release that tension and make up a song to a random song that lingered on his tongue and in his soul. It was a nice way to release his pent-up emotions and frustration. His pain that was shared with his little sister and his rival turned tentative ally. It was something that continued late into the night as people walked by and out of bars, tripping and stumbling over themselves and laughing too loudly whilst Nagi fought with herself to stay awake and continue. It was nice but soon the emotion died, and he knew it was the final call of music and his decision had been made.

He would do nothing because it felt right and if he did anything he was liable, and Taiga couldn’t be liable. He wouldn’t decide Nagi’s dream, that was for her and Ken. He would watch and do whatever he feasibly could to achieve it though. And that was once she made the life changing decision.

So, he would wait and wait for his turn to help.

And wait he did.

Chapter 19: I - 18

Chapter Text

Nagi and Ken had agreed to the deal so long as they were able to negotiate their contracts and the Shiraishi’s were working hard. Working themselves to the bone looking over what appeared in the wording and making it clear cut what they wanted without loopholes… for Travis the rest. They had a loophole in place to leave whenever because they were young and still learning and both Nagi and Ken cared about school. Taiga didn’t at this point, now he was simply enjoying music because he knew he wouldn’t once the contract was finalised, and he was alone more often than not now.

Nagi didn’t like the business aspects, thrusting it all of to Ken to do. But she was the one who agreed first, hesitantly but she still agreed and stated her agreement plainly the next day. Declaring it as strongly as she believed she could which led Ken to fall in line because if he disagreed, it was a waiting game for one of them to quit. Taiga believed that if Ken held his ground, Nagi would relent easily but no one wanted to disappoint her, and this was her dream after all. She was like the face of the group really. RADder only existed because of her, so why deny her what she wanted? Simple, they didn’t.

So, they accepted the offer and were negotiating terms leaving Taiga alone on the street singing and rapping.

He felt numb. It was like he was going through the motions, pre-emptively mourning his loss of music with the acoustic guitar on his lap. He couldn’t even find it in him to find Ken attractive anymore or look at him anymore. He was just empty.

For someone so impulsive and full of emotion that swirled and swirled, crashing against his ribcage like a large and destructive tsunami, the numbness and silence was terrifying. Painful almost and he tried to not let it win but…

He didn’t want this, but he didn’t want to disappoint people. So, he smiled and sang on the street. Whatever left his faintly beating heart and his throat. Whether it was numbness or something too overwhelming or resigned. Something that had to leave him eventually as the night grew darker.

#

They signed the deal. They signed the contract and now their music and lives were owned, and Taiga could already feel the shackles already. Attached to his legs and hands. Attached to his throat, choking so much out of him but he smiled, nonetheless. He continued to smile because if it faltered, they would know, they all would that he didn’t want this. He never did.

But he wanted to chase that dream and break that wall, so wasn’t a small sacrifice worth it? He thought so, at least he told himself to believe so whenever he doubted it as they all celebrated that evening. Nagi holding up a random item as a microphone, earning soft chuckles from Taiga as he watched it and she pulled in her random female friends to dance. Ken was watching too, speaking to whoever he wanted to date with that evening. And Taiga… he was watching.

It was anti climatic almost. Nothing to be excited for and the whole town was but now it was done, it was done. It was final and empty. It just was. An undisputed fact and a part of him wanted to live in denial and act like it wasn’t a fact. Disputing it even but that was far too childish for him who had let them make the decision. He shouldn’t have given that up, but Travis and the others brought out the worst in him, something not even Ken could touch or reach. The parts of Taiga’s heart that were dyed black and stained, twisting and growing but receding when he remembered his whole life purpose.

To make Nagi smile.

If he was unhappy and she was shining like the sun, then so be it.

Besides. It was only summer, only August what could go wrong?

#

Taiga liked tempting fate because by October he was at his wit’s end as they forced them to do another variety show. The children on TV talking animatedly and trying to promote their music and being shut down but any hint of displeasure was picked up upon and scolded for.

His cheeks hurt too much from forced smiles and grins. He wanted it to stop but Nagi wouldn’t let it, Ken wanted it to stop too. He wanted it to stop from the first week, but Nagi wanted to try and continue. Arguing that it was only this way because they were young, but her voice was soft like she didn’t believe it. None of them did, all disillusioned with the industry but they continued to suffer as they made new songs together.

Thankfully, they relented on RADder’s songs and let them have creative control over it to write what they wanted and needed to. What they wanted to sing and rap about which was the only consolation they had save English tutors because they all excelled at English to begin with, but they were learning more words for native fluency, and they had to be grateful for the small things. The little things that made it, so tears did not kiss the corner of Taiga’s eyes as he went home and thought and thought about everything resigned to his fate. Accepting it belatedly and unfortunately just realising that that was all his life was.

A pawn for everyone but it was fine, because Nagi wasn’t crying. At least, he didn’t believe so because he couldn’t hear her through the walls and if she was happy. Everything was perfect and dandy.

#

Middle school ended and he had somehow managed to graduate alongside Ken. Thick black bags lining the bottom of his eyes as he left the middle school before racing home, as fast as they could with their weak legs and body to make it to a photoshoot for an album, they, the company, wanted to make and then they would be at COL later. Everyone was concerned and it was a constant topic of argument in the Kotaki household. Their parents yelling at one another and sometimes, Taiga whenever he denied their concerns and Nagi too joined in all for the sake of a dream. Something so fragile and frail it could break and shatter in a moment if they were no longer concentrated. And Taiga wanted it to.

He wanted to not give a f*ck or want it anymore. It would be easier to leave music if he no longer loved it like a child like it was his best friend. But he did and if his best friend wanted to cause pain it would, and they would survive. They would not die together, and they would do it. He knew they would because they were them and RADder would smash that wall.

But it was a large thing he believed they couldn’t scale any more. So distant and looming over them shrouding them in darkness and covering them up and drowning out the light and whilst Nagi was by his side, the brightest light of all. It was a hidden and dimmed light.

But it was fine because the town protected them too and for a moment, they could breathe. For a moment at least.

Chapter 20: I - 19

Chapter Text

High school was not that bad. He wasn’t in Ken’s class thankfully which saved him a headache because competition was contained to singular classes and that meant he would not be judged as harsh for not being the brightest like Ken was. It also meant he got to shine in music class which felt nice and right. He loved being admired for music because it was special to him.

They had lunch together, the two of them and they talked for a bit. It was largely about work with the odd small talk comment which had Taiga bobbing his head along more often than not. This friendship thing was tiring, and it was not related to his complex feelings of attraction! He was certain of that he thought because… he knew himself in those two years and he knew this was him wanting a friend in Ken.

Now that they would have to be in Live Houses on stage together, they had to be friendly even if there was a rivalry. It had to be friendly above all else and Taiga was not one to deny or ignore the obvious. So, he would work on it.

Plus… having Nagi and Nagi alone was hard. Not that he made it hard for people, he thought himself to be quite open it just never clicked. It was something that he tried and tried, it just never worked, and the town really were the only ones to understand him. And that, at some point, had been fine even if it was isolating.

Ken was someone that could be a friend. They were already partners, why not friends? Was it backwards? Maybe but that suited him fine.

Besides, he learnt eventually that physical attraction was not the same as romantic attraction. At least, he didn’t believe it to be considering when Ken talked about his exes, he talked about little features of them he loved that made him all doe-eyed and lovesick. Taiga was, on a good day, able to say that he had super pretty eyes that reminded him of the sun.

Okay that was over the top, but that was the fastest thing he could think of.

Besides, the company was forcing them to play up their rivalry more and more on shows. Always encouraging them to be on different teams and whenever they were on the same team, it was always over dramatized and each interview they went to they asked about the meaning of partners in street music and if they were capable of adhering to the rules and the importance of it. That always made their interactions strained but a much-needed allyship formed s their high school looked at them seeing them on TV.

Whilst RADder were not as popular as they wanted, which that would eventually happen Taiga would break down the wall brick by brick and rebuild it if he had to, they were over TVs near the street and in the city centre. Considering the city centre was only five minutes from the town, it made sense to them that RADder would be promoted because they did love them all eventually.

But because of negative stereotypes, no one ventured down the alleyways which suited Taiga just fine at first but glancing at the high school and how they studied them and their interactions. Frowning when they did something akin to friendliness and true friendship and making comments to one another with their eyes. Making comments of ‘What the f*ck?’ ‘Is this fake?’ with their eyes looking to one another uneasily and it made Taiga frown.

Day one and there was already a divide of people who supported Ken and who supported Taiga. A divide that Taiga had hoped wasn’t there once he moved to high school, and they were somewhere different. So few people heading over with them that it would not be like a world war with their relationship and the rivalry could die.

Their fame told them something different. Their fame made it eternal…

Taiga didn’t know how to feel. He felt sadness but he felt that it was natural, but it made their relationship strained because they needed one another at this point. They had to have one another as the company pushed them down and down, choking them to death and swallowing them whole and draining them like they were vampires…

Anyway.

They left the school and by the time they reached the street, Nagi was already practicing by herself. She stopped once she saw them, left her supplies and jumped to tackle them. Before she took in a few staggering deep breathes and held her head.

“sh*t.”

“Is it getting worse?”

“A little,” she admitted to him before she shook her head. “I know what you’re going to say, but if it gets worse, I’ll visit a doctor.”

“You better,” he told her sternly and Nagi just smiled at him.

He glanced over at Ken subtly and Ken frowned before shaking his head and taking a deep breath in.

“Nagi, you sure you’re alright?” Ken asked once she pulled away and she placed her hands on her hip.

“Perfectly, now can we go to COL please, please, please-“

“Alright,” Taiga sighed.

He relented to her whims so much easier now because the town somewhat protected them. Somewhat saving them from work so long as they were doing whatever they needed to and were too busy for work. It was fine that way because now they had a reprieve from work because those lights were too harsh on his face and on his eyes.

The lights of a Live House were harsh, that was true yes. But they were less harsh than the blinding white lights of TV stage lighting. On a Live House, it was colourful and sometimes dim really if it wasn’t the brightest thing ever especially when it was blue or purple. For TV shows and photoshoots, it was always white. No different. Constant white light that burnt him and acted like the sun. It was awful and his skin was peeling.

How Nagi was making it he didn’t know. Maybe it was her optimism about the fame and the world that made it so he wanted to keep that alive and well. Giving into her so she didn’t look too deep, but there was a part of him that knew that she knew it was not what they wanted. Not at all.

Taiga shook his head and glanced back at Nagi who was still jumping up and down. He laughed fondly and ruffled her hair. “Do you want a piggyback ride?”

“Do you have to ask?!” she exclaimed, and they knew that she was always going to agree because she didn’t know if she could do the walk without feeling faint. She probably overworked herself in her excitement and her eagerness.

From the schedules they thrust on their shoulders and the schedules they had to take for cover because they couldn’t leave without having done something. Having learnt nothing.

They would have to bide their time and wait…

She secured herself on his back and he groaned for a moment before she began to laugh. “Let’s go~~~!”

Taiga rolled his eyes and Ken chuckled to himself quietly.

All was good for the moment. All was right. For the moment and when they entered the live house, watching performances laughing and talking to people. Enjoying their time, their throats hoarse from screaming along to songs and then they got to be on stage when no one was there, and they needed music. They got advice for their original songs too.

In fact, they made them on the stage, random food items brought as they sat there and sang with the town. The song resonating with them all and, for the first time since they signed the contract, Taiga was happy.

He couldn’t express it, words were so easy and so complex at the same time. But he was happy, and his feet felt so light like he could fly away for ever and ever. A true smile on his face.

Ken seemed happy too, their hands moving to the song as he took the DJ set and used it. Mixing the song and singing along with Nagi over the top, moving his hands and earning her ire. She said nothing as she raised her voice and gritted out words, he only smirked back at her before she pouted upon realising no one was exactly on her side. As much as they loved her, that town loved teasing her and she had to get used to it. Being the town’s daughter and beloved meant to take the teasing and the advice, she could handle the last one, but the teasing was still a learning curve.

Taiga joined in too, teasing her and Ken easily and listening to the crowd. Some of them remarking the loss of cry-baby Nagi and the stage was a great favour for her confidence and charisma. Her natural charms which only got better.

He frowned for a moment as he remembered how the stage and the inevitable fame affected her education and her middle school friends. She didn’t seem too bothered by it but even when she was ‘a shrimp’ as Ken would sigh fondly, she was always around people. And when she wanted to be confident, she was. It just rolled off the tongue easily and for her to be constantly surrounded by the same people at work had to be a change even if she loved them. It had to be… irritating he presumed and place a strain on her friends considering the only time they could be friends was in school since she was never there after school. That was always a rule and to be constantly missing school for basic schedules…

Ken glanced at him noticing the change in demeanour and co*cked his head.

Taiga shook it and forced the happiness he was feeling at some point back to the priority of his heart. For the moment, it felt so far away like a dazzling star he could never reach. But he could and he forced it to shine brighter than it had before to feel something, anything really.

For the moment, if he could not over think and live in his mind and question everything. There was a sense of true happiness in the air and that was all they needed at this point. That was all they were desperate for.

But school still lingered over their head as they were forced out and home and Taiga had to think. A plan formulating, but it seemed frail and stupid. But it was something that had began to take place and root itself in his mind. In his soul and feelings.

Chapter 21: I - 20

Chapter Text

Three months in and the workload was too much for Taiga. It wasn’t the high school workload really; he could cope with that alone. It was the combination of that workload and the music workload. It was the task of worrying about Nagi as she became paler and paler, and yes, she kept saying she would go to a doctor, she never did.

“I need you to drop off some homework for me,” Ken sighed, placing down a folder on their lunch table. There were no fun conversations anymore, it was always asking for favours and Taiga was drained. He knew the words out of Ken’s mouth before he said them.

“You have a schedule.”

“I have a schedule.”

The boys chuckled, but it was hollow. There was nothing to actually laugh about anymore. It was just something to cope and they needed to cope. If they didn’t cope, they would drown and die drifting to the bottom of the ocean. Forgotten and lost forever and ever, no one remembering them. He couldn’t have that; he wouldn’t allow that which led to where he was at the councillor’s office.

He sat there on the outside waiting, kicking his legs back and forth bored and waiting for advice. He needed advice. How to drop out of high school.

His ma and pa would kill him, he would be strung out to die and rot. Forgotten, truly being the disappointment but he needed to do something. Ease Ken and Nagi’s burdens because they liked school, they thrived at it. Ken adored high school, and when it was a Monday no matter how tired he was from them practically living at COL or CRAWL GREEN, he always grinned when he entered the looming building. He always tried his best at homework, and he wanted an education, thinking already about university and the future.

Nagi, well, Nagi had friends in school. She was friendly with all the people on the street, but she lacked friends. She lacked that deeper connection. She had that in school and to be constantly missing…

It was better for him to be the drop out than the other two. They needed and liked their education and what it gave, Taiga didn’t give a f*ck. He tried; he didn’t fail necessary. He simply just did like it or want it, and in this situation, it was a necessary sacrifice.

“Kotaki Taiga,” the woman called out, and Taiga bounced up and followed her into the office. The nerves building up, just a little as he took a seat opposite to her.

She looked like a kind woman and that put him at ease.

“How do you drop out of high school?” Taiga asked when she took out her pen and the woman spluttered and froze.

“Good morning, how are you, how can I help you?” she mocked for a moment before placing down her pen. “You were always the rascal I heard.”

Taiga nodded and the woman looked at him. “Is there any way I can convince you otherwise to not drop out?”

Taiga shook his head. The woman sucked in a breath and turned to her computer, the sound of her typing filling the room.

“You don’t really need to ask how, you just can,” she shrugged easily. “You know high school isn’t mandatory. You can try night sch-“

“No. I perform at night with my music group.”

Her face made an ‘O’ shape and the typing stopped. It was oddly, oddly enough therapeutic. She hummed, tipped her head and continued what she was doing. “Is this work related?”

He didn’t want to answer, so he didn’t.

“I’m going to take that as a yes. Are you sure you don’t want to stay longer?”

He hesitated and the woman stopped typing. It trailed off and she stared at him, she seemed so kind and friendly. A strange sight for him to see from an adult out of the town. She tapped her fingers on the table and looked at him. Her nails clinking.

“I think so.”

She sighed and printed something off. “I’ll speak to you next week; I need you to be certain before I do everything. I know that you don’t want to do night classes, but maybe you can take a look at the opportunities. At least, this way you can always go to university in the future,” she reasoned, and Taiga took it. He frowned and she laughed a little.

Taiga nodded his head and got up, fisting the paper. He took a step to the door before stopping and looking at her, “Do you run a credit course?”

She frowned sadly. “Unfortunately, not.”

And Taiga nodded again, fear setting into him as he realised, he would have to do this. But did he want to? Did he want the repercussions?

He didn’t know and he hated making decisions, but he had to, right? He had to do something.

He had a week to think about it. Contemplate it and consider it. He had to think and the answer would come to him, right?

Chapter 22: I - 21

Chapter Text

Taiga was nervous, but, equally, so was Ken as they sat there, late at night and pondered. In his heart, he knew he wanted to drop out and whilst he didn’t believe Ken could sway his decision, his parents weren’t able to, he wanted to let Ken know. It was something friends did, and they were certainly friends. Having crossed that invisible boundary and line that middle school them and set up and scratched in with a twig. That line of them never being friends, but they had to be at this point with a dream so whimsical. You needed friends.

Taiga said nothing to Ken as they stood by side in the darkness, the silence. Taiga as he got older, failed with words and explaining himself as best as he could maybe it was because he clung to anger as a vice when younger or just had to deal with Nagi and Ken, he didn’t know. All he knew was in that moment, he could not express what he wanted to express and wanted to say.

“I’m gonna drop out.”

There was a certainty about ‘gonna’ that terrified and excited Taiga. That made him sound more certain than he was, but ‘thinking’ couldn’t convey what he wanted it to. It felt wrong in his heart and soul. Like it was too uncertain about him, and he must’ve, somewhere deep within him. Deep inside him have made the decision that no matter what, he was dropping out.

Ken paused and laughed. It was breathy, lasted in the air, resounding and echoing all around them.

“f*ckin’ hell. Is there anyway to change your mind?”

Taiga shook his head and Ken shrugged. “Then do it.”

“Just like that?”

“I learnt the hard way that you can’t force you to do something you don’t wanna do. So do it. f*ck it.”

Taiga snorted alongside him, drinking his coffee. “You know, ‘m sorry for the past.”

“So am I. But I’m glad we grew up, we can take on the world and if you think this is the best course of action for you to break that wall, then I approve. I’m gonna stay and go to university, maybe do business or science, depends on where we are in life.”

“Business?”

“If we want to take on the world, I want to do it properly,” Ken explained. “What better to get rid of Travis and co. than by starting our own business. I mean, that’s a thought of mine. I don’t know how plausible it’ll be.”

Taiga laughed; it came out more bitter than he wanted it to be. He couldn’t even deny the sourness of it really, it had already formulated in the air around them and was ringing in their ears. He was a jealous person he supposed. Jealous of Ken’s natural brains that led him to concoct a reasonable enough plan.

It was smart and something Taiga hadn’t thought about. The future. He focused on the present and their current struggles, what he could do to alleviate that. Ken though about the benefit for them all. Taiga thought about the benefit for Nagi and Ken even if it came to his own detriment.

“It’s smart, really. You were always smart though.”

“I still am you c*nt.”

“c*nt? I got an upgrade in Ken’s book of derogatory nicknames. I feel honoured.”

“You call me bastard; I should do the same back to you.”

“Uncreative.”

Ken shoved him playfully and Taiga got in his face. It felt nice to act like teenagers again and not near enough adults even if they were. Even if they were fifteen and sixteen. Even if in a moment, Taiga would be fully working, and Ken would be studying in an attempt to get work and do some good. It was nice to forget their burdens and whatever weighed them down like a bag of rocks.

“Are we gonna tell Nagi this?” Ken asked and Taiga froze for the moment.

“What do I have to tell Nagi? I’m just droppin’ out.”

Ken shook his head. “I’m offended you’re taking me for a fool. I might not have been your best friend or your biggest advocate, but I did have to know you well enough, and I still do as your partner,” Taiga ignored the way his heart accelerated with the emphasis on the last word. “Partners need to know one another better than life itself. It has to be as easy as breathing.”

“Is it as easy as breathing?”

“Not when you insist on being secretive and not letting me in, but I can’t blame you for that.”

“No, you can’t,” Taiga agreed. “So what do you think you know?”

“I know that you’re doing this to ease up on our burdens.”

Taiga gave no response and Ken stared off. The music in the town was a good distraction, but Taiga wanted to stay in the present and the moment.

“You need to focus on schoolwork. I can free you up whilst you do research.”

“And Nagi?”

“You know she isn’t taking her anaemia too seriously.”

Ken nodded. “Will she…?”

“Look I don’t want to speculate about my little sister,” Taiga insisted, and Ken relented. “But you know what I’m doing so I might as well let you in.”

“You should.”

“Are we really doing this?” Taiga asked the conversation setting in.

“We really are. I’m surprised you haven’t been killed yet.”

Taiga laughed. “Ma’ wanted to. But pa wasn’t gonna let her do so…”

“To be a fly on the wall for that conversation.”

“You’re awful.”

“Your family disagrees.”

“Because they don’t see you for the bastard you are.”

Ken laughed and all was right again. The decisions had been made but so had a plan, a little thing that could slip under the cracks of the wall and whilst they may not destroy it, isn’t’ building your own one that’s taller achieving the same thing? Taiga believed that and, looking up at the stars that night, when they seemed so far away months ago when they were younger. When they were wide eyed and hadn’t been pushed to the ground, face in the dirt suffering under the weight of oppression from the music industry.

But he believed, no, he knew they could do it. They had to be patient and maybe he was a brute and would force them to success, but if he had to wait, he was glad Ken and Nagi were by his side. One day, when she was more disillusioned, she would be by his side as he stopped wanting to coddle her properly.

One day at least.

Chapter 23: I - 22

Chapter Text

Taiga really hated his impulsivity and decision making. He hated it right now as he went to another interview, another event, another schedule. He took over it for Nagi and Ken, which was glad because she looked so much healthier now as they sang together late into the night on the weekends, their throats not resting. And there was a smile on her face as she hung out with her friends, having time to do so which was good because she was an extrovert. She was naturally made to be around people, she had to be around them to live and thrive. To be who she was.

She was getting better; she had felt faint lesser and lesser which was all Taiga wanted because she did not want him to dote upon her. She wanted to seem brave and strong, capable and able bodied. She didn’t like being reminded of her anaemia and that she was weaker than other people her age. Then her friends.

But, most of all, she hated being coddled. That was what she called it, coddling. Ken agreed with her too, but Taiga didn’t know if that was genuine agreement or just agreeing for the sake of agreeing with Nagi, wanting to avoid an argument. Taiga was unsure, but the siblings had been fighting more of late.

That was a strange thing for him to deal with. For their parents. For the town. Taiga arguing was expected, he was always a brute and Nagi had called him one multiple times. Constantly each and every time he raced headfirst into danger, with no consideration for his own health or the health of others.

Well, that was a lie, he did care about other people but for him it didn’t matter. He just acted, that was the only way he could act and how he had to do. Impulsivity was his favourite trait, his main one if you got bored and had to boil him down to something he supposed.

It was irritating to Nagi now and she was getting frustrated at it. She was snippier and whilst she loved him clearly, everyone was prepared for their fights Monday evening through to Thursday evening. By the time Friday rolled over, they were back to normal, him kissing her on the head, her teasing him and they were the closest siblings. But when Monday evening came back, like clockwork the frustration would exist again.

She was disappointed in him dropping out and taking on more work without consulting her. And Taiga knew it was a sh*tty thing, but she hated being on the outside and not considered for the decision. She said she would’ve supported him, but because of his betrayal, she no longer could and was utterly disappointed in him. Ashamed and embarrassed of him entirely. Frustrated that he would give it all up for a dream, irritated that it was her dream.

Ken suspected she felt guilt, that Nagi was not as stupid as they made her out to be. And Taiga knew that. She was capable, so much more capable than him, but he wanted to protect and coddle her forever and ever. It was natural his baby sister but forever was not a real time frame. Nothing lasted forever and, in that moment, as he was pushed into the styling chair, people fussing and telling him to sit still as they grasped setting powder and slathered it on under his eyes and on his face, he regretted deciding to embark on the journey alone.

He tilted his head back as they headed over, brush pigmented with a soft pink for his lips. He was certain he would look a mess with how sloppily they applied it, how hastily it was all done. But it never was though it felt like it should be.

As much as they didn’t care about them and their health, they took pride in their appearance and presentation. Making sure RADder looked perfect whenever they did events. They at least did something right whilst being assholes, and Taiga had to appreciate the clothing and the effort they went into for their styling. Nagi really liked it and appreciated it, he and Ken were neutral to it. They gave them fancy tops and jackets, some type of pants and combat boots before calling it a day. They didn’t look that bad though unfortunately, and that pissed Taiga off.

The care into their presentation and how the public perceived them was prioritised most of all and led to them acting, in Ken and Taiga’s case, that hatred flowed through the group. They were like a family almost. Distant cousins that bonded together at a reunion because you had to talk to someone and you all looked pathetic and alone, so why not bond. That kind of a thing even if Ken and Nagi were like siblings to one another, that love was lost between the boys. But the hatred was basically non-existent now.

They argued, but everyone argued as evident from Nagi and Taiga in the moment and her lack of wishing him good luck before the schedule. Ken had, but Nagi hadn’t, and Taiga was worried if his hasty decision and inclusion of Ken had ruined them entirely. Could they be fixed? He hoped, he would have to try his hardest to do so but…

“Kotaki Taiga on stage in five minutes!” someone called out as they tugged at his hair with a newfound vigour at realising how close he was to being on stage. Taiga said nothing and let it happen. He knew he would have to put up with this for the greater good of the dream and RADder. He could do it.

#

Nagi laughed to herself when he entered the house, the makeup still clinging to his face and his hair still styled uncomfortably. He looked so unlike himself, and he was drained.

“Did you do your makeup?” she asked, between laughs as she watched him with interest. This was the most civil conversation they had that was not at the weekend or strictly pertaining to work.

“With the amount of times you’ve practiced makeup on me and made me supervise you, I would not do a butchered-up job of it. Besides, have you seen my natural face? It is a blessing. Makeup is unneeded,” Taiga replied gesturing to his face whilst Nagi laughed to herself. “How bad is it?”

“Really bad,” she wheezed out holding up her phone in his face and Taiga widened his eyes.

“This looks like I dipped my head in cake batter!”

Nagi nodded, biting down on her lip to stop the bubbling laughter from escaping. Tears lined her eyes as she held it all in and stared at him freaking out about it. “Let’s hope the white light blurred it all enough.”

“It best had do. That interview made me consider new ways of ending my misery early,” Taiga freaked out about, walking to the sink and taking out a packet of makeup wipes. Rubbing it all over his face to remove it as much as he could. The next time he went shopping, he would need serums and other things to make sure his face with clean and skin perfect.

“Was it that bad?”

“Next time someone asks me of my favourite ways to bully Ken I will commit a murder.”

Nagi hummed. “Well, your fault for going off ahead without either Ken or I and consulting me.”

“Nagi…”

“Hm?”

“Look, ‘m sorry. I did what I thought was best and what I needed to do, and I don’t think I made a mistake. I would be asked all this sh*t even if we were in interviews together,” Taiga reasoned, chucking away the dirty wipe. His face felt so much nicer and lighter.

“And I’m going to continue to be upset and annoyed for crying out loud! You are my brother; we did everything together and then you got all upset when I went behind your back to Ken, and you did the same to me! I’m justified in this!”

“I never said you weren’t. I just did what I thought was best and I apologise for not tellin’ you.”

Nagi gritted her teeth together and looked at him. Glaring at him as best as she could, her brown eyes practically disappearing as she gritted her teeth at him and held onto her anger. But then she deflated, and a fond smile found its way onto her face, her eyes widening up and staring at him happily. “You’re a f*cking dumbass. But you’re my dumbass,” she said tenderly, looking at him with a small dopey smile. “Don’t do that again.”

“I make no promises. But I will consider you next time,” Taiga agreed and Nagi relented.

“I missed you.”

“I’ve been here the whole time…”

“But we haven’t been the Kotaki siblings in so long. Just been us and then we would get along on the weekends and fight every other day. I miss just being Nagi and Taiga.”

Taiga shrugged. “We all make sacrifices in life. This is the sacrifice we have to make for this dream. We aren’t just Nagi and Taiga anymore. Tensions are high.”

Nagi nodded slowly. She opened her mouth like she wanted to say something, and Taiga had hope, for a moment it was her saying she regretted it all, but she snapped it shut and smiled up at him. “But we can be just us at home, right? We don’t have to pretend we’re out there preparing for something bigger…”

Taiga walked over to her and smiled down at her, she hated being five foot five and he was like five ten. He grinned at her widely and kissed the crown of her head. “Course we can. We must have a movie backlog, or we can rewatch one of your favourites….”

“Thank f*ck it’s one of mine and not one of yours.”

“Mine are not that bad!”

“They really are!” Nagi huffed and Taiga wanted to reprimand her for swearing, but she was fourteen and in Vivid Street. It was natural. He was just glad it wasn’t as bad as he and Ken. Besides, she would kill him, and he wasn’t looking forward for murder after (partially) fixing their argument.

“You’re insane.”

“I’m the most sane of us two,” Nagi insisted but she moved around the kitchen easily. Standing on her tiptoes reaching for a bowl and microwaveable popcorn, the kind that they made super American and had to melt butter to get the real vibes across.

Taiga hummed and amused her whilst he did everything else, making dinner (snacking foods) and they argued, discussed Nagi would say, movies. And all was right. Even if Taiga knew the next morning, he would wake up not feeling fine because work existed and work was a bitch. At least his home was sacred again and he could survive. It was only another few years until Ken graduated university.

Chapter 24: I - 23

Chapter Text

When had time slipped him by and flown by? How and when had he lost it all? It was only a year, a little longer than a standard year as Nagi dragged him about for high school shopping, and it had slipped him by. Slipped his mind really and he didn’t realise how or why even. It just had and he had to live with that fact, somehow, someway.

He no longer felt anger at the roles thrust upon him and Ken and Nagi. He was resigned to them and just simply told Ken to ‘Take as much time as he needed.’ The brunette always looked like he wanted to dissent, disagree, but Taiga’s nonchalance stopped him each and every time. Why would he have fight left in him when there was nothing in place to back him up with the fight? No, once they had connections and people who liked them outside of their little town, they could do it then. And only then.

He didn’t want to play the waiting game, but that was what they had to do. All options in life lead to waiting and Taiga supposed, for a little longer he could feign patience. Feign an interest in the life he was living and hope that he didn’t pull his hair out.

#

Meeting rooms were always the worst Taiga thought as they sat in the stuffy office. The white walls with the white table and being in a suit always made him uncomfortable and fight the urge to recoil whenever the superiors spoke. He always had to fight the urge to fidget and fiddle, keeping his feet secure on the ground to avoid spinning around in circles on the chair, questioning everything. When he got really bored, which was often only five minutes into the meeting he, began to look at the ceiling and count ceiling tiles, lights, anything and everything really. When he was particularly bored and light counting wasn’t enough, he would take whatever massive wad of paper he was handed and count the letters and characters and the vowels and the consonants and-

Ken nudged his shoulder to bring him back to earth once the people started to file in. He looked over at him and Ken was silently telling him off for the distraction, his sunglasses missing as he sat in a stuffy suit. Even Nagi was in business wear for this meeting, and they could never get her into it. So, Taiga knew it was important he just couldn’t feign a complete interest for how the music industry worked.

His role, because they had assigned roles, was to make it seem like they were happy in the company and maybe do some networking. Ken’s was to figure out how business worked because he took a natural shine to that unlike Taiga and Nagi whilst Nagi, because she was now in on it, was the social networking proper. She just naturally drew people close to her and they all liked her, doting upon her and becoming her friend in a sense. They all talked about the infamous Kotaki Nagi and how sweet she was.

She had come to them both, late one night. One Saturday night if he were to be specific when there were no musicians on the street and the town was a ghost town. It was odd to see random animals skitter by after having dug through the bins for some type of food, they were usually unable to be seen because the street was so loud, and it discouraged them from appearing.

It was like the street knew that something important was happening, so they stayed quiet.

Nagi had led them to a children’s park, and sat on the swings, the metal chain creaking as she swung back and forth in silence. She was trying to figure out what she wanted to say, what she was dreaming of for the moment, but the words were failing her and so her swings got bigger and bigger to the point Ken was worried she would turn the whole thing over and go flying. She wouldn’t, she had enough control, but her frustration was apparent from how much sand she kicked as she swung.

She eventually stopped, dragging her feet whilst the boys sat on the floor far away. “I don’t want to be under Travis anymore,” she eventually settled on and Taiga let out the biggest shout of ‘Thank f*cking God!’

He started crying too, tears welling up in his eyes and he began to sniffle whilst flopping onto his back, beaming at the stars above whilst Nagi got all pouty over his dramaticism, but he couldn’t help it. He needed to let out and express his utter happiness over the fact she had finally seen the light and that freedom was actually possible and within reach. He had even begun to laugh on the ground, it was strange really and Nagi must’ve seen him as losing it and maybe he was in all fairness, the stress and the hatred was too much for a seventeen-year-old at this point.

It was just so… breathtaking. Relaxing and cathartic at the end of the day to just lay on the ground and laugh knowing that your baby sister had realised what you had done a long time ago.

He could vaguely hear Nagi mumbling to Ken and whispering about him, asking what was up with him but for once, Taiga didn’t care. He hadn’t felt this elated in so long that he had forgotten what it felt like to be elated. To feel like you could soar away at any moment and that you were not held down or held back. That you could reach the stars and disappear, like a helium filled balloon.

By the time he had stopped laughing, the world truly was silent and all you could hear was the last bubbles of laughter in his stomach and heart. It simmered down as if you were cooking something on the stove and needed it to boil, but not boil at the same time. And soon it stopped, and he just looked up at the stars, and they were distant they probably would be but, in that moment, he wanted to say ‘f*ck you’ to God or whatever higher power actually existed out there. He believed again, as stupid as the dream was, that they could do it and that they were getting stronger and with Nagi by their side, they could flush out the plan and be open. Honest. It was exhilarating and the only thing that kept him sane as he went through the daily motions of work.

Travis had told him once when it was just him and Travis at a solo schedule, waiting for the rain to lighten up so Taiga could make his own way home that knowledge was power. That wisdom was the best thing ever.

It was standard advice, solid advice arguably but Taiga was sceptical when it came to him. He merely hummed and logged it in the back of his head and now, though he was loathe to admit it as he forced himself back to earth and to listen to the meeting that Travis was right. Knowledge was power and once they had enough knowledge, they would turn the tide against him, so Taiga tuned back in, taking notes (for once) and listened closely.

They prattled on about stocks and shareholders and the image they wanted them to present. They talked at length about concepts and ideas which had Nagi frowning deeply, and he too was frowning, the ideas they were suggesting, and she was only fifteen nearly sixteen. They wanted to disagree and say something, but the meeting always moved onto something that Ken deemed important to note and write about and so they stayed quiet no matter how uncomfortable they were.

If Taiga were more cynical, he would have said that they were doing that intentionally to gauge RADder’s opinions on things and lifestyle.

Oh, who was he to lie to himself that was exactly what he believed they were doing. They always knew when they were going to suggest something outrageous, and they watched them carefully. It took him a few incidents to realise that but once he did, Taiga schooled his features into something neutral, praying to God he didn’t get too angry that his fists clenched together. He doubted it was working from the amusem*nt on their face, but he had something to tell Nagi and Ken after the meeting when he could finally free himself from the jacket that restrained his movements.

Taiga glanced to the clock, looked back at the agenda and prepared himself for a few more hours lost because, what was a few hours in comparison to a whole lifetime? Nothing really, nothing much at all and he could survive a few hours over a whole lifetime. That’s all it was.

A month was a collection of multiple hours, a week was a collection of numerous few hours added together and so on, so forth. If he thought about it like that, like something small and tangible he knew they could make it.

And so he would last these first few hours and however many more that made it so forever under Travis’ thumb was a distant and hazy memory.

Chapter 25: I - 24

Chapter Text

Everyday of his mundane life, Taiga wondered if time travel existed and, if it did, if he should use it to change the past as they lingered outside of the old (for him) high school building.

It was late at night and Nagi was utterly ridiculous begging them to break in alongside her, to go in and retrieve something. It was something valuable, according to her at least and Taiga didn’t believe it as they watched the school warily, hiding whenever a small light flashed by. Peaking through the thick green bushes of doom and despair.

Ken peered around the edge of the bush as the light slipped past and nodded to the two of them and the three of them bolted across the path. Bolted closer to the school, trying to stay discreet and covered in the darkness.

Not that it was hard, they had made it easier by tossing Nagi’s hair into a secure black hat and all wearing dark clothes. Which was fine because they never really had colour in their wardrobes to begin with anyway.

“Where the f*ck are we heading?” Ken hissed out, looking back to Nagi as Taiga felt the thorns of the bush stabbing his hand.

“Inside.”

“Helpful.”

“Look, we just need an- ah-ha! Opening up ahead,” Nagi huffed, crouching on her knees before bolting off and forcing them to follow along, diligently, as to make to sure she was not killed.

She pulled the door open, and Taiga wanted to kill her as she yanked on the large glass doors with strong suction to the frames continuously. She nearly toppled backward once the door open, and Ken pre-emptively winced for an alarm that didn’t come and didn’t blare out loud signalling their illegal endeavours. Taiga caught her and shoved Ken in and they pressed themselves thick against the shoe boxes of the high school.

Their breathing was laboured as they looked through the wide and open halls before detaching themselves from the wall. “f*ck me it’s dark.”

“It’s the middle of the night, no sh*t,” Taiga snarked to Nagi and Ken whacked him on the back of his head. Nagi giggled at that as she stood in front of them, grinning.

“We made it though.”

“For now,” Ken pointed out. “And barely, so what are we looking for?”

“My locker, I left something in there.”

“Which is?”

“None of your business,” she snapped to Taiga, and he held his hands up in mock surrender. She took a breath in and sighed. “I’m sorry… it’s just really personal and private, you know?”

“Is it drugs?”

“What the f*ck!? No!?”

“Okay then, I don’t care,” Taiga shrugged, and Nagi looked like she wanted to gut him for even insinuating she was associated with drugs.

She threw her hands in the air, stomped her foot and stormed off. She only got so far before they all heard a squeak and raced to the left of them and into a vacant classroom, hiding under the teacher’s desk.

Well, Taiga and Ken did, Nagi slipped into a cupboard and held her breath when the light came past again. The security guard lingered for a moment outside the door and Taiga stopped breathing but soon the light disappeared from nearby them. They waited two minutes, Ken counting down the time and getting up and out first. Peering into the darkness before he opened Nagi’s cupboard and she got out, sucking in huge breaths of air whilst Taiga felt his knees protest from the crawling and crouching.

“Let’s get to this f*cking locker,” Taiga mumbled and the other two agreed as they stayed close to the classroom doors and headed further into the school.

Whilst he was only there for around four months, Taiga felt chills run up his spine. Old memories and it felt like he was a fully fledged adult, a realised adult with his dreams in reach returning for an old reunion. He wasn’t, he knew that, but it was so strange for him to be traversing the school and remembering the odd old classmate. The odd story and the forgotten piece of chemistry homework he had never handed in. The tests that he nearly failed from his tiredness of work and life in general.

They made it toward a set of stairs, and they lingered for a moment. Hoping, waiting for any sign of life, anything really that indicated where the security guard was. But after three minutes, and it was three minutes exactly, they realised that he was no where to be found and wouldn’t be found any time soon. Meaning they had to move as soon as they could and whenever the opportunity presented itself to them, which was that time gap.

Nagi took the stairs speedily, making her way up them on her tiptoes as she reached the top first. Ken was next to her, taking them two at a time and Taiga lingered behind them, walking backward in hopes of seeing a light. If they did, they would have to race up the steps and find a hiding spot. An adequate one at that.

Thankfully, they didn’t and were able to traverse the long hallways that were repetitive and spiralling. All linked to one another like a large and massive maze. Large windows attached to each classroom that made Taiga’s skin crawl. If one security guard was there with their flashlight turned off, just sitting in the darkness-

“Give me a light,” Nagi hissed out as she stopped at a locker, trying to get some type of light on the lock. Ken pulled out a tiny flashlight and held it up as Taiga glanced around them, trying to listen for anything. The sound of shoes squeaking on the floor, whistling, anything out of the ordinary. Anything that wasn’t them.

He couldn’t tell it though; his brain wasn’t attuned to this place like it was at home meaning he didn’t know what sounds he was looking for. So, for the first time in his life, Taiga was forced to rely on his other senses, and he was glad as he spotted a small light at the opposite end of the hall. It was far away, only tiny but getting bigger and bigger and-

“We gotta go, now,” he hissed out as Nagi finally opened her locker and grasped a whole handful of things. Pointless things he wanted to say, but he made no comment as they slammed it closed and raced into an empty classroom.

This time he and Nagi wound up under the desk, but Ken was next to them behind a larger part of the extended science table. Knees tucked under his chin whilst multiple lights went past. The lock on the door began to jangle and Nagi stopped her rushing shovelling of everything into the bag, clapped a hand over her mouth and they stopped breathing.

She was shaking like a leaf next to him, and his adrenaline was racing too but he lacked the fear that Ken and Nagi had because they were actual students. He was simply an ex-student who tagged along because his sister and best friend, because they had moved into that territory he supposed, were idiots and needed someone to watch out for them.

The light got closer to them, further into the room. Glancing over the top of the table and Nagi curled herself into him, squeezing her eyes shut and resting her face into the crook of his neck. He moved his arms as quietly as he could, closing his eyes too fearful of being discovered. The light reached the chair and then they heard a huff and the movement of someone on a belt, “Clear.”

The footsteps padded away and none of them breathed until they heard the door close with a familiar sounding click.

Ken paused and crawled from his position, pressing himself to the floor and tried the lock (he had the longest arms of them all) but with all his – slight – jangling of the door, it was clear they were stuck in the room. He came back to them and around to face them as Nagi began to cry softly, silently.

“Do you have anything to use as a rope?”

“Why the f*ck-“

“We’re like 30 feet high, it’s too high to jump from safely. But if we can at least lower ourselves 10 feet we have a good chance of not coming out with vital injuries.”

“And who the f*ck was lugging 10 feet rope on them?”

“I don’t know, I didn’t think that far. I just researched if you can survive from this height,” Ken hissed out and Taiga clapped him mockingly, arm still wrapped around Nagi as her sniffling decreased.

“Would- would someone survive if two people caught them?”

“The two people in question being Ken and I?”

“Maybe. I mean we could create a rope from our clothes and you two lower yourselves as much as you could. I could unlatch it, drop it and follow through. You two would have to catch me.”

“Do you know the safe way to jump from a height?”

“Would you teach me whilst Taiga creates the rope?”

“Would the rope hold our body weight?”

“If it doesn’t, it was nice knowing you.”

“We are sending Ken first.”

“When did I agree to that?”

“The moment you asked me stupid questions, now teach us how to land safely oh wise one,” Taiga mocked as he took off his jacket and grasped one of Nagi’s from what she had retrieved in the locker and began to tie them together. Moving them naturally into a sheep bend knot for stability even if they lost the height needed to do so.

“Right so-“ and that was how RADder spent the better part of an hour, locked in a classroom and creating a rope. Staring out the window and learning the timings of their surveillance and speeding up because they had a gap of time, and no one knew if it was possible for the three of them to jump through the window in that time. Especially Nagi.

“Go,” Nagi breathed out and the boys got into gear. Taiga was cold missing his jacket and hoodie and his longer outer shirt, but they needed it for the rope that was nowhere near ten feet, but it was better than anything else. Taiga stood it and tied the rope out of the window whilst Ken clambered through the gap, shimmying through it and scaling down. He was moving far too slow. Eventually, he was like a dot then he was no more. Taiga didn’t have time to ask if he was alive and followed suit. If Ken was dead, so was he and he needed to make sure Nagi didn’t die. That was his priority.

He took Nagi’s bag and threw it on his shoulders and followed Ken out, nearly missing the rope as he lowered himself. His hands clammy as he touched the different fabrics and slipped further into the darkness, Nagi’s fear was clear in the window. He smiled up at her as he reached the end and took a deep breath. He kept his feet together and-

The drop was thrilling, he wouldn’t do it again as he rolled onto the ground, praying Nagi had nothing too fragile in there whilst he choked on dirt and Ken looked down at him. He took Ken’s hand and spluttered the dirt out whilst trying to figure out what he wanted to say. “Torch. You can’t see sh*t up there.”

Ken nodded and flashed the torch once. It was the safest they could do whilst Taiga was bouncing on the tips of his toes. They waited a minute and the rope fell. The boys rushed forward close to the wall, where they advised her to go because – coincidentally – there were no ledges or anything to disrupt her fall or damage her.

She let out a squeak and they raced forward, catching her before she went splat on the ground, she had already begun to twist herself in preparation for the roll.

She was shaky but they had no time to worry about that whilst Taiga placed her on the ground, Ken grabbed the dirty rope, and they ran from the building. Scaling over the wall once more and never looking back.

They limped and hobbled as they reached the street. They must’ve looked strange and weird, as they reached the actually bustling city centre. But they had done what they needed and Nagi was happy, he wouldn’t do it again though. Never again as his ankle throbbed, but she was happy and so, to a small degree.

It was worth it.

He could also say as a fun party trick to impress children that he jumped out of a window once and broke into a school. And those bragging rights were very important he believed.

Chapter 26: I - 25

Chapter Text

Taiga wouldn’t learn about what they broke into the school for for a long while. Well, more like another week but that was a long while whilst they all waited nervously waiting for anything or anyone to even indicate that they knew what they did. Holding onto one another a little too tightly whenever someone began with a simple ‘Heard what you guys did.’

Taiga was the calmest of them all because he had nothing to lose save his pride if people discovered they had to climb out of a window and fall down and down like Alice and the rabbit hole. Because sure, Travis would be pissed but he always pissed. He hated him entirely, but the hatred was mutual Taiga had to admit.

He was better at dealing with him because, well, he knew that one day they would be leaving and there was that glimmer of hope that kept him going on. That glimmer of hope that prevented him from really being upset at anything and let him live his life. Let them create songs in secrets and what led to him arriving home earlier than he was meant to and watched Nagi with some girl at their front door.

He hummed and watched them; they were awfully close to one another he thought as Nagi spoke over the top. Her hands moving with her mouth and her face being so expressive in her thoughts. And when the girl spoke, she stared at her so helplessly. Her brows were no longer tightly knit together from how wide the smile was and more relaxed. Her eyes were smaller too and she had a soft dusting of red on her cheeks as she stared at her and laughed.

Her hands lingered in the hinges of the door and her head bobbed constantly from how much nodding she was doing. Her two braincells must’ve been clattering and rattling around constantly in there as she continued to nod along. She laughed, a proper laugh eventually and it fell into a soft endearing smile toward her that had her widening her eyes and rushing to take off her jacket. Practically shoving it to the girl but in a gentle commandeering way. A way that would seem like a suggestion to everyone else with how she was acting all sheepish, but was the closest thing to a demand from Nagi.

The girl took it, her own face similar to Nagi’s, bright red before they stared at each other in the eyes.

Then, and only then, did it click to Taiga that she had been on a date. That his baby sister, the only baby sister in the world that mattered, had been on a date. He was both proud of her and irritated that he didn’t know about it considering it seemed serious from how much they loathed to leave one another’s presence, but he understood her hesitance in a way.

He was her older brother, her ‘intimidating’ older brother. Really he never thought he was and it was just people scared of the town and street music in general, but that was what he was too people. She was also his baby sister, his only one. The one person on this planet that he was meant to protect. The one thing that was the so precious to him it was able to displace music in his long list of priorities. She was his everything and every day he lived and suffered was in hopes to make her smile and here she was, acting like an adult and going on a date.

When had she even considered love? When had she even considered that she liked women? When had this been arranged, how often because they were awfully comfortable with one another? There were so many questions spinning in his mind, but he waited until Nagi checked her watch and ushered her away but when she did, she finally noticed Taiga who lingered outside the gate.

The other girl, looked at him, squeaked and apologised profusely. He said nothing really but smiled at her, which made her race away, Nagi’s jacket on her.

Nagi looked like she had just been caught doing something wrong. Like murdering someone in an alley way wrong and not just being a teenager wrong, it was adorable admittedly as she tried to figure out what to say to him whilst he walked up the path.

In the ten seconds it took him, she had settled on something and blurted it out, “She isn’t a killer and if she is Ken knew where I was!”

“That isn’t comforting in the slightest. The f*ck is Ken going to do against a murderer,” Taiga said, rubbing his forehead as he looked at her.

“It’s better than no one knowing, right?”

“Not by much. Like you might as well have done this all-in secret.”

Nagi deflated, but let him into the house, nonetheless. Hesitant really because she must’ve though that he was upset at her. He wasn’t, he just wanted to make sure she was okay and happy and in a good relationship. Anything else was bonus information.

“I mean, it’s better than no one knowing. At least if I died, Ken could say ‘this is the suspect!’” she protested, and Taiga couldn’t stop himself from snorting. “Oh, come on! It’s not that bad.”

“I believe you believe that,” he mused before taking a seat on the living room couch and patted the seat next to him. She took it hesitantly, inching forward like a cat almost. Trying to prepare itself to run and not wanting to really do it, but she gave in knowing that he knew what it was.

He had been on them, granted it was like one time, but he knew what they were. He was not that dense. Maybe he was dense enough to miss the skip in her step that morning, the extra care into her makeup that she had applied that morning. The way her perfume was different and-

Okay, he had missed plenty of signs. But he wasn’t super dense, and that was all that mattered to him.

They sat in awkward silence, him not wanting to bring it up unnecessarily but her not wanting to say anything because she didn’t know how much he knew and how he would react. It was tense, it was strange for them, and Taiga hated it but he had to exert patience, for once in his life, and listen to her. Hear her out as she figured out what she wanted to say.

“She- I- We- It’s not that serious,” Nagi began to stay, overthinking her words. “Like… Ken and Tomoko!”

“The only relationship we actually liked because she gave a sh*t about you and I and Ken’s music even if they didn’t love one another.”

“I liked Mei…”

“You were the only one. But, continue,” he urged and Nagi bit her lip.

“I guess you could say we don’t… love one another,” she hesitated. “She’s pretty and she makes me feel special but… I don’t think it’s anything you can consider to be love.”

“So you really like her?”

“A lot. I don’t think we’ll get super serious, but I don’t think we won’t at the same time. You know? It just is what it is, but, I feel like you would say it was considering we broke into school for her…” Taiga stared at her blankly and she straightened her back and held her hands out in front of her. “Look. It’s not serious. She just really liked that one jacket and we were going on a date the next day because you were at a schedule, I just forgot it in my locker and needed it to impress her. Which sounds silly, really silly but-“

“Breathe. You’re ranting and you’re usually not so ranty.”

“You try coming out to your brother and talking about sneaking off on dates and that was why you broke into a school. Then tell me to breathe!”

She sucked in a breath and apologised quietly. “’T’s fine. Continue.”

“I just… wanted to impress her. She’s so cool and pretty and she likes me. Me. No one likes me because they’re too busy glaring from how Ken and I run into school late, hair flying everywhere and tying our ties up on our uniform as we race through the gates. I need to do well even if this relationship is like nothing.”

“I get that…” Taiga admitted hesitantly. “You never had to hide this, you know that, right?”

“I just wanted to. If you know, mum and dad might and I don’t want them to know. This is my secret to carry I don’t want to… tell anyone. I’m only telling you because I have to.”

“You didn’t have to.”

“I owed it to you to tell you because I made you climb through a fuc- window and Ken knew. You would be upset if only Ken knew and you didn’t.”

“Never. I deserve it after the dropping out conversation and my real reason for it,” Taiga rationalised. “I wouldn’t be upset. I’m not upset.”

She paused and nodded her head thoughtfully. “So you really don’t care and you won’t be big brother Taiga?”

“I will always be ‘Big Brother Taiga.’ It’s in my role and when I am, aren’t you blessed and lucky to have the worlds best brother?” she rolled her eyes as Taiga leant towards dramatics before sobering up. “But I can restrain myself until you go on ten dates. Then, I will be who you don’t want me to be and then I care because ten dates is serious.”

“It really isn-“

“Ten dates is when I say you can hold hands. Maybe a cheek kiss.”

“This is why I didn’t tell you! You’re unfair!”

“You’re lucky I haven’t outlawed marriage young lady.”

“I am not marrying her. That’s disgusting. But I have kissed her on the cheek.”

“You…”

She smiled at him and all was right in the world.

Chapter 27: I - 26

Chapter Text

Nagi was stressed, that much was obvious from how her brows were knitted together tightly and how her hands were clenched against the bottom of her jacket and her foot was tapping impatiently. Almost erratically but controlled enough to not be seen as anything more than just her remembering a song. And maybe, just maybe, she was remembering a song, learning her song over and over again though there was no reason she would want to. She hated it.

They all hated it but Ken had pleaded with them to wait, to be rational and try to hold out as long as they could so they could at least be leaving with their head held high and a backup plan for when everything went to sh*t because that was inevitable. Of course, it was inevitable that it would all go to sh*t. They would seem unreliable in the industry and too hardheaded, but they wanted control over what they did, was that so wrong?

Taiga didn’t think so since he missed the freedom. He missed singing whatever he wanted however he wanted to whenever he wanted. He missed not being tied by strings like a puppet forced to follow and listen and heed Travis’ wants and needs. What the company needed them to do and not what they wanted to do or produce. It was clear in Nagi’s songs they made her sing. The over-the-top editing of the audio and sometimes making her sound near robotic when her voice was clear and resonant. The auto tune pissed her off and they must’ve seen it each time she performed, eyes hard and set, darkening as she looked over at them and sung into the mic.

They must’ve realised, at some point the thin, clear, wiry strings that attached all of them were loosening their grip and getting easier to slip out and pretend that was wrapped around them because the meetings were more frequent. Not that it affected Taiga much, but it did Ken who had mini cards on his lap in the meetings trying to multitask and juggle with being the most knowledgeable with the dirty, underhanded tactics they would try to keep them under foot. The way their boots would press into their skin and leave marks, leave them breathless and dizzy and without hopes or wants or needs.

How Ken was managing to keep his head above water and living whilst doing everything else was strange for Taiga to realise and figure out. If he were anyone else, if he were in Ken’s position, he would let the raging waters claim him and drown him easily. Smothering him from the light of the sun, blinding him and filling his lungs as though he were dying because you drowned when you died sometimes, right? Didn’t your lungs just fill up above air when you were dying? It was natural to let yourself drown.

Ken fought against that as best as he could, sitting at the edge of their stages whenever they were there the Friday evenings and flicking through the notes he had taken. Mumbling the facts aloud to himself before joining in on the songs that they were meant to sing in order to improve themselves and gaining a standing within the town.

Not that they had to try hard really, the town had wanted them to be together and a group so not supporting them would be futile for them and literally would destroy the whole point of having Nagi act as the bridge and forcing them together. It was a given the town would support them, like they had during childhood but sometimes Taiga doubted it. Something would settle within his chest as he looked at his sister and best friend. The lines of aging affecting them deeply and the way their shoulders always seemed burdened as though they were carrying large bags no one could spot or see.

Nagi rolled her shoulders as their names were called, put on a dazzling smile, the one that had everyone weak at the knees even if they knew they couldn’t have her. And headed on stage first, Taiga looked to Ken move his hands as though he were someone in a royalty setting guiding and directing royals to where they needed to go.

Ken rolled his eyes, slapped Taiga on the back of his head, but followed Nagi and sat on the extravagant yet uncomfortable couches that would give them all back problems before they were thirty.

The lights were blinding, but easier to tune out now he supposed as he glanced up and felt them pouring into him and his soul. Lightening up all the darkness within him and the parts he was not the most proud of. It was like each flaw and imperfection was on display and he hated that feeling, he needed to smother them up and make people forget them all and play his role dutifully.

Ken was the only one at somewhat ease, but not even he could pretend to play his role of carefree and not a brute. He seemed relaxed in his posture, but there were subtle clues that Taiga knew meant he was only faking it. They all were, including Nagi as she sang her solo song since they wanted to promote her differently to the boys. Isolate her Taiga suggested one night and only then did that thought appear in Ken’s mind as he realised, they probably were.

Nagi was the least confrontational with Travis and followed his whims. If they isolated her and made her still love them as they wanted her to do so, it would make RADder stay within the company. They were fools really, unaware of the fire behind Nagi’s eyes and in her movements as she got to sing angrily to her solo song and had people fall on their knees for her. As she made friends with the people behind the scenes, taking care of even the smallest person that was overlooked with a soft smile that made them all love and adore her. That made them want the best for her because she wanted the best for them. She wanted them to be appreciated and happy, shouldn’t they return the favour?

That was Taiga’s logic on the whole situation, but he knew it was because Nagi was just a naturally kind and friendly soul. The street had made it so and he wouldn’t argue with the way the street raised her to be the best and most perfect thing ever really.

“I wanna be a lady!” the two boys screamed on set dancing next to one another supporting Nagi as she got to show off her solo song ahead of their scheduled album sometime the next year because they did seem to remember that Ken was trying to go to university. Was it belated? Yes, but they eventually remembered it and so, whilst he hated to give them credit, they were trying something.

His more cynical nature wanted to say that they wanted to push Nagi so far to pull her from group activities and give her the chance in the spotlight she knew she could reach if she stayed.

As much as they all hated the company, they were happy Nagi got a good song to sing that they could sing as they waited on shows and get some energy back. They were fools for good music, why would they deny the fact? It was probably because Nagi helped make it a little.

The song eventually concluded, and everyone clapped for her, the boys cheering for her because they were each other’s biggest, and potentially, only fans that were genuine. Maybe they should’ve played up the hatred like Taiga and Ken who acted disgusted with one another and argumentative as they sat back down, Nagi holding back her life before playing it off as ‘humble-arrogance’ a stance that she had perfected once she realised she needed to for fill a role. Once she realised, she had a duty to complete and partake.

The stress was not doing them any good as once the camera turned off them, they slumped onto the uncomfortable couch. Their heads swimming and aching from the utter bullsh*t they had to do. And it was utter bullsh*t. They had to dance to random songs which none of them knew really and sing along to them. Then had to perform their own song and make a new song before cracking open peanuts to a song that was deemed ‘perfect for workers.’ No one had a clue what the f*ck was going on, they just followed it dutifully and to a ‘T’.

One day, one day they would be free and no longer have to do something like that or at least choose the segments they were going to do. But that was in the near distant future like being number one in the world and to achieve that dream, sacrifices had to be made and if they were, they would do it gladly and happily.

Chapter 28: I - 27

Chapter Text

When the time came, Taiga was not shocked that Ken had done excellent on his exams and passed with flying colours. The extra stress was well worth it as he walked away with a huge grin on his lips and was actually called up onto the stage as the representatives of the students, which was a shock and a half for them all when he was freaking out about his suit. He did well though and Taiga was proud of him, begrudgingly so whilst Nagi buzzed with excitement upon ‘not being hated by all the girls anymore.’

He raised a brow at Ken as they walked together on the street, a celebration ringing out loudly at the thought that one RADder member had done it because they were all like the children to everyone that lived there. Ken chuckled as people came over to congratulate him and give him gifts and Taiga couldn’t feel any happier he believed. This was the epitome of peak and true happiness he thought just knowing that one day they would do it. They were so close to breaking the shackles and it was freeing.

#

“So, do you know where you want to go?” Taiga asked him and Ken rolled his eyes.

“I chose courses that wouldn’t get me into my university. I’m going to Waseda.”

“Waseda? Isn’t that like one of the best in the world?”

“It’s top 100,” Ken returned easily, Nagi was off performing in the street, a smile on her face. “She looks so happy.”

“Of course, she does. She knows as good as we do that freedom is in our reach because you’re going to do amazing at Waseda,” Taiga laughed.

“I hope. I mean they’re paying for it.”

“Your parents?”

“No, flying monkeys. Of course, it was my parents you dipsh*t,” Ken snarked and Taiga held his hands up.

“Woah, what’s gotten into ya? I’m usually the mean one, you ain’t taking that from me,” Taiga laughed to him, and Ken rolled his eyes.

“Sorry, it’s just… They get us into this sh*t, and they won’t get us out outside of paying for my course because we’re adults well save Nagi, but she’s always been more mature than us, hasn’t she?”

“They also got us into this sh*t because you two wanted to be in it. Your parents can’t be that bad about it, right? But then again, the older generation don’t get us, do they? For as long as this street’s been the ‘music town’ for everyone and their mother to gather…”

Ken snorted himself and shook his head. “You always know what to say, even if you two are brutes.”

“You two?”

“Nagi. It must be in the Kotaki bloodline.”

“I can hear you talkin’ about me!” Nagi yelled into the mic, getting ready to front them as the music had an instrumental section. She rolled her eyes as it began again and flipped them off from her spot which led to Taiga glaring at her. playfully, he would never hurt his baby sister… at least not that much.

“She needs sh*ttier ears,” Taiga grumbled, and Ken stood back.

“That’s for you two to sort out in whatever brutish way you do.”

Taiga looked at him unamused before punching him in the shoulder, causing him to hiss and drop some of his fizzy drink over his hands and onto the floor. Taiga shrugged as Ken looked at him, jaw slack and irritation in his eyes, gritting his teeth and a low growl rumbling from his chest. He smirked slightly whilst Ken began to bitch and complain about him.

“f*cking prick.”

“Hm? Who has you so upset?”

“I hope Nagi beats your ass.”

“Why do I need to beat his ass?” she yelled into the mic, grinning before leaving her ‘stage’ and slinging herself around Ken’s shoulders. Draping off of him.

“Who has you so upset Kenny?”

Taiga burst into a new fit of laughter as Ken flushed red and shoved Nagi off of him who only smirked evilly. Sisters, they were a bitch sometimes and a pain in the ass constantly, but she truly was his number one supporter and fighter. No one in their right mind would call Ken ‘Kenny’ as though they were dating, but then again Nagi was not of sound mind really. It was an arguable and debatable thing to be fair.

He swatted her off her as she grinned, taking Taiga’s drink from his hand and sipping on it before frowning and pulling a face.

“Did you really have to do that?” Ken asked unamused.

Nagi hummed for a moment, before making a sound of disgust and pulling another face. She handed it back to him and shook her head. “No and are you drinking gasoline? That’s f*cking awful.”

“I’m a car, vroom vroom,” Taiga mocked and Nagi shot him a glare. She rolled her eyes.

“I should beat you up for Ken,” she stated before shoving him harshly.

He moved backwards, not expecting the shove and his drink lapped out of the container and over his clothes. He co*cked his head, and looked at her. She had the gall, the utter nerve to look sheepish and laugh nervously, hands raised and backing away. “Hey, wait a minute, we have a common enemy in Ken, right?”

“It’s my graduation day, and I think we have a common enemy in you,” Ken pointed out and Nagi gulped. She looked around and ducked, which was bad because Taiga caught her and spun her to face Ken who tickled her.

She probably gave Taiga a concussion from how she through her head back in laughter, squealing and shrieking as she was tickled. “P-Please,” she begged, through her legs out, aiming – poorly – for Ken, trying to kick him to stop this onslaught of torture.

“Ow, f*ck,” Ken groaned as she kicked him in the crotch, slipping down out of Taiga’s hold as he began to laugh himself. Sliding down onto the floor before she landed there, like Ken who was basically crumpled up holding onto the wall.

Taiga stood up in the middle of the chaos, because he was so naturally good in it and grinned over them lazily as Nagi pouted and jumped up. Dusting off her skirt, the massive metal loop clinging and clanking as she did so before she glared up at them, largely him because Ken’s justice was served with how he was crying on the floor and punched his shoulder.

“Weak.”

“I don’t want to hurt you. Minako doesn’t need to hate me.”

“So, she’s Minako now?”

Nagi hummed in response.

“I would’ve blamed Ken anyway if there was a bruise, she already hates him.”

Nagi giggled at that, and Ken stopped his wailing and launched his trainers at him. He looked at him and shrugged. “You know it’s true. We might as well have our makeup artist hate the person they already hate then the person they love a lot for when we break free.”

“I hate it when you have genuine answers that are sound logically,” Ken sighed. “You two are better for being brash and rough, why do you two think?”

“We don’t think,” Nagi corrected him. “We let you do all the business because that hurts our heads.”

“You’re just lazy.”

“People have their specialities. Mine is not studying and paying attention and diplomacy. I’m better at making genuine friends, not over thinking a business endeavour,” Nagi huffed.

“You also tend to jump in and stop fights.”

“Because people have no respect for this street and music! Of course, I jump in to stop fights. It’s the only natural thing to do!”

Taiga rolled his eyes and she huffed. “Is there a problem?”

He said nothing and took another sip of his drink before she spun around. “That’s it! I challenge you to a battle!”

The town stopped listening to the other performances and faced the Kotaki’s, even Ken was eager and excited. Staring at them hopefully and Taiga couldn’t disappoint him, it was like disappointing a puppy even if he would moan afterwards and find ten different ways to call them children and irritating.

Taiga laughed before spinning around. He always had a flare for dramatics people couldn’t keep up with him maybe Nagi and Ken even if he worked himself half to death, throat sore and burning. He shook his head at her and gestured for her to start.

“Ladies first.”

“I need someone to twat you,” she muttered lowly before feeling the music and beginning the battle. Ken shook his head, but a fond smile played on his lips as he watched them shaking his head exasperated but he made no verbal comments. Nothing dissuading them which was like an outright confirmation of acceptance from him and encouragement which Taiga liked.

His heart felt full, like it wasn’t actually there. So light and airy like a feather. Like it wasn’t there and there was no pain in there that festered and weighed him down, that made it hard to breathe. He was glad of that as he and Nagi moved around the city like it was theirs to own, and maybe it was with how they all loved them. How they all flocked together after hearing the first syllable of their name, any of their names. Ken and RADder included even though he never participated in impromptu street performances as much, sobering down over the years and only taking on the next strongest person to prove that he was reaching achievable heights and improving. That there was more for him to do.

Taiga felt like a teenager again, it was strange to say because he was only eighteen. Nearly nineteen, but it felt like his childhood had been ripped out of his chest and his life and that he was a fully fledged adult. And maybe he and Ken were really, Ken looked drained too and out of it admittedly, he was thinking so far into the future and never participated in what they did when Taiga was able to latch onto a loose thread of childish faith and enjoyment. He simply watched them, made silent comments but never complained about them and their childish antics. He was simply a calming presence that pissed Taiga off more often than not, but made him appreciate him equally so. The ice to his fire and his untamable energy even if Ken did have moments of weakness, it was nice he was a balance most often than not.

Taiga laughed softly, looking up at the blazing sun. Before shaking his head.

Soon he would touch it.

Soon he would shed away his youth.

But for now, he cherished it and Nagi’s happy smile and the roaring of the town. Just for the moment.

In the morning, it would seem like a distant dream he supposed. Something his mind created to cope with everything, but that was the morning that would come, and Taiga needed to learn to appreciate living in the place in time they were. Someone had to of him and Ken, Nagi always did. She was notorious for it really, even when she planned for the future it wasn’t as much steppingstones as much as doing what was necessary in the moment. They planned for the future more accurately, but that was fine as they delayed the ripping of childhood feelings from their beating hearts. That distant dream one nanometre closer than before. Just that smallest bit closer, he believed it was achievable.

But that was for Taiga the next morning to ponder.

Chapter 29: I - 28

Chapter Text

Suzuki Yuka was the name of the girl that Nagi had been seeing for that moment in time, but the other girl much preferred them to be friends, which broke Nagi’s heart and Taiga had to console her. Ken none the wiser and not particularly ignoring them, but not being as present as most people had suspected. He was busy in his fancy university securing their future whilst Nagi poured her heart and soul out into music she would never hand to Travis or anyone else.

Over time, the wounds healed and the two really were able to be just friends. It was strange but at other moments, it was clear that you could never be just friends, at least not that fast, if Nagi’s expression was anything to go by. But she cherished that friendship too much to, in her own words, ‘f*ck it up.’

Today was one of those days where Nagi just felt awfully mentally and Taiga could see her struggling. She always liked to pretend she was strong because she blamed herself for their predicament, and so she wanted to do it perfectly and make Travis proud. Not give away any of their traitorous thoughts to the company and the future that they were living in for the moment, but that was for another day Taiga reasoned as she sat there with hollow eyes and pain in her heart.

It was an awful day for her to look like that really, they were due to play a round of paintball together on a variety show, to have fun and be injured and bruised and competitive. The three of them like proper friends and no longer co-workers.

She smiled thankfully at the makeup artist and sighed before looking at Taiga, both of them waiting for Ken to be done as he wooed the women all around them. That good looking bastard.

“You know, you don’t have to look after me so much, this is inevitable, right? Heartbreak and all that? Loving the wrong person?” Nagi reasoned softly, her voice wavering though she tried to seem strong and brave.

“Not inevitable in any sense of the word,” Taiga continued. “Pain is certainly inevitable but because it is, that doesn’t mean you don’t want to take care of your loved ones and coddle them. You’re my baby sister, I promised to protect you from the world.”

“You need to let me grow and expand,” Nagi snorted for the moment. “I don’t need you to baby me because Ken will join in soon and I can’t deal with the two of you worrying about me like I can’t take care of myself. I’m grown up.”

“You’re my baby sister and I know that that bastard sees you as his baby sister too,” Taiga reasoned ruffling her hair which annoyed the beauty department but got a small watery smile from Nagi as she looked up at him and grinned for the second.

She was pulled off to get glammed up again because Taiga had f*cked that up but it was fine because she was no longer two seconds from crying her eyes out for the minute. And that was good and nice.

#

Nagi was a vicious little thing in paintball, sly and full of the ability to cheat that it lead to the two other teams teaming up together to take her down. Ken and Taiga having originally been separated and placed on different teams so in the large arena there were three teams, one with Nagi, one with Taiga and the other with Ken. But with how Nagi was, the other two teams had created a tense truce to take her down and then it would be fair game to shoot one another and win.

The two smirking at one another, trusting one another in a way that Taiga did not ever expect but they had to trust one another in the hell hole of the world they were living in together. Side by side and chasing their hard dream that led to them being oppressed for the moment, but it never hurt anyone they supposed but themselves and this time they were able to be together. Hands next to one another, grinning and splattered in paint thanks to the other people aiming shots near them.

They spotted her hair through the bushes and shot at the same time in an instance, Nagi ducking out of the way in time before aiming her own one back at them as they fell down smothering one another. The MC’s excited at them and this tense game where the three members of RADder got to show off how well they knew one another and their real friendship and bond that only seemed to grow and become uncontrollable and dangerous to other’s.

Taiga smirked at Ken as they crept around the opposite sides of the bushes, guns drawn on Nagi who jumped in the middle and aimed at Ken. Firmly at him stood in the middle, fearless and her mouth pressed into a thin line.

She smirked at them and ducked as they shot their shots, hitting the one person they didn’t want to hit firmly in the chest, snickering as she backed away and made a dramatic and mock bow at them.

He pushed his tongue into his cheek, dropped the gun and tackled her which made her scream before he tickled her constantly, Nagi curling into him and herself, smiling up at him when Ken joined in, the other’s shooting paint at them to try and win and hit Nagi. Really, they should’ve left the arena by that point but the content that the people were getting from them stained in paint and laughing and being so close as they were was a golden opportunity.

And if they changed the plans for the episode, Taiga and the rest were none the wiser whilst they stole a crappy polaroid and took pictures afterwards. Nagi scrawling, rather hastily, on the back of the picture ‘the perfect recipe to fix a broken heart.’

She smiled at him, genuinely, and Taiga knew that his sister was ready to accept the pain and move on properly. Which meant he smothered her in more brotherly love and awfully tight hugs from pride and happiness.

And RADder would be eternal and so would that show.

Chapter 30: I - 29

Chapter Text

There was something strange about Ken. Ken was always strange, Taiga would not deny that fact, but he was acting even more stranger than normal. As though there was something that eased the burden on his heart and his mind. That something made him very comfortable and at ease as they worked to disobey Travis (or Travers? God if Taiga f*cking knew the pricks name) and break free of the chains that they had and were stuck under.

He was still in university, but he was close to the end of graduating the skip in his step was not always there and was a new addition after he attended university most recently. That there was something there that excited him inextricably.

Taiga sighed as he waited at the venue they were in, breathing in the smoke of cigarettes second hand over the smoke of smoke machines and screens. Breathing in the sounds of excited children rather than a rambunctious crowd that adored himself and Ken and Nagi. Remembering what he was fighting for, the future, the people all around them in this town and avoiding them being abused by the company just as they were. Fighting for their future and fair contracts for them and so the next artists would not have to plot and scheme the way that they had done to survive. That they were able to live rather than survive and lose the idea of what living even was.

“You sure you don’t want to go back inside,” one of the smokers checked, glancing back at him as he waited next to them and listened to the way that they joked with each other. The way that they were all so comfortable with one another.

He missed that.

He was really only comfortable with the people that they had met in the past and that knew them before they up and went and became global and national sensations. Before they were on everyone’s TV’s and in everyone’s CD stores. Before they were famous idols, sort of, rather than who they really were. The image of who they were and the vision of success and how street music could be acclimated to the popular masses and stand out against some of the huge idol groups of the time. Like that one group with like fifty odd members singing all at once on stage and with the concept of ‘graduations.’

Taiga shuddered at that thought. He would never get that, although Ken would and probably soon with how excited he was and the way that he was making waves through the course and how he seemed to actively look forward to attending university. Nagi thought he was crazy as she worked on songs silently and for herself, improving her English vocabulary and Taiga worked on the lyrics. Working in silence that the Kotaki’s had mastered from the young age of five or whatever the f*ck they were.

“Positive. If I have to see that bastard smiling to himself once more and looking at something fondly that he’s wearin’ I think I’ll be on the news for a f*ckin’ murder,” Taiga groaned looking at everyone outside who only seemed to grow amused at his threats and words. Like it was nothing unexpected. Like he was missing out on something as they shared secretive glances to one another.

“How you two managed to be in the same group and formulate plans together I have no f*cking clue,” he grumbled once more to the person next to him. “But I’m glad the plan worked out. You three are f*cking forces to be reckoned with.”

“What can you say? Nagi and I are talented mother f*ckers and Ken… well, he knows how to keep up,” he shrugged half-heartedly. Chuckling to himself as the back door swung open.

“Stop defaming me you punk,” Ken argued when he stepped outside. His eyes wide when he spotted the impromptu crowd.

“Is it defamation if it’s the f*cking truth?”

“I need someone to kill you.”

“You’d f*ckin’ miss me like the heartfelt bastard you are.”

Ken snorted at that but came to stand next to Taiga as everyone else continued to smoke and talk about the town and what was needed. Refurbishment and upcoming groups who seemed to have some spark of talent, but no one was particularly sure of that. It was too early to tell and sometimes there was something missing and the town would gather together to steer them in the right direction to the next people they could partner up with and be together with.

“So, Ken,” one of the women asked, grinning manically to herself. “Taiga here says that you keep giggling like a school boy. Who’s the lucky women? Or man?”

“Now, who says that-“ Ken tried to argue but there was too much glee in his voice for it to not be true.

Taiga quirked a brow at him and hummed thoughtfully. Watching Ken try to deny whatever it was and pretend that Taiga was high as sh*t and was delusional, but he couldn’t with members of the town around them. Members of the town that practically raised them and lifted them up on their shoulders, helping them refine their skills and encouraging them to endeavour on the difficult task and journey of conning the people that got them started on their career and left them high and dry. Abandoning them. And not letting them do it to anyone else, anyone younger or even older than them.

“f*cken loser,” Taiga snorted. “How are you gonna keep this from me and Nagi? She’s gonna kill you.”

“I know but… I didn’t know if it would work out and well. I think it is,” Ken laughed nervously. “She’s super pretty and she’s not the most academic but really f*cking caring.”

“You need someone caring. You’re a prick on the best of days and on the worst of days, I’m surprised I haven’t had to write a eulogy for ye.”

“Are you trying to encourage me to bring her around or are you insulting me?”

“Both can be true.”

“And that they can! Now, why are we insulting Kenneth?” Nagi grinned, skipping over to them in her leather jacket. The chains of her top clanking on her way around as she lent on Ken and looked up at him.

“Kenneth?”

“Yup! If you’re willing to lie to us and not tell the truth you aren’t my brother Ken, you’re something else!” Nagi justified, looking up at him expectantly. “So, tell me all about why you’re being insulted by my brother over a her.”

“Why does it matter that it’s a girl?” Ken laughed nervously.

“Because we all know Taiga doesn’t swing that way. But I do and I need to know if you have sh*tty taste like that one over there.”

“You only say that because you don’t like men,” Taiga retorted offended, pushing his sister lightly as she still clung to Ken. She elected to ignore them because it was a solid counter point and once Kotaki Nagi made up her mind on who she was extracting information from by being the adorable little sibling the world saw her as, she was not going to stop. She would continue until the day she died.

“Come on, Ken, I want to meet her! Before I learn all about her from some sh*tty love songs.”

“Love songs are not-“

“Oh, my f*cking God! You’ve written love songs about her! Holy sh*t!”

“That is not a big-“

“It is,” the Kotaki’s replied at the same time.

“f*cking Ken being a romantic more so than normal. Is the world ending?” Taiga grumbled shaking his head. “f*ck it, let me ruin my lungs if you’re gonna be this in-f*cking-sufferable.”

Mei, one of the regular smokers, shook her head fondly but passed Taiga a cigarette regardless. He lit it up and breathed in the nicotine, frowning to himself momentarily, but he continued to smoke it as though he was unbothered. And he was unbothered really.

He didn’t like Ken like that anymore. It was easy to ignore it now after so long of ignoring it and listening to Ken talk about the women that he did date and then sometimes compliment the men they worked on shows with. It was a natural thing for him to do and he doubted if they would work well together.

So, if Ken fell in love with a girl, Taiga would be the supportive best friend and let it happen. He would continue to bully Ken regardless and tease him to death, but that was all apart of his appeal.

“Come on, tell us all about her and maybe, maybe, one of the love songs can make it into our next set.”

“Absolutely f*cking not.”

“Come on, Taiga. If I fell in love, you would be suggesting this.”

“Because you’re less insufferable than Ken. I would rather kill myself than sing one of Ken’s pathetic love poetries.”

“They- they are not pathetic!”

“Say that again without your voice cracking.”

“You’re literally smoking right now,” Nagi huffed. “Now, come on, Ken, for me. Your little, baby, adorable, love of your life sister.”

“Manipulation will not work,” Ken sighed.

“Come on! We aren’t going to bite! Much.”

“So you do admit it,” Mei joined in slowly, blowing out the smoke. “You are a vicious bitch.”

“I’m not a vicious bitch,” Nagi protested, frowning pretending to cry.

“Fake tears, I think, constitute as being a vicious bitch, cry-baby,” one of the men pointed out looking to Nagi fondly. Using the old nickname she had picked up for being a cry-baby.

She stopped in her tracks and shook her head fondly. “What the f*ck?”

“And you use that language around your mother? My, my,” Mei teased. “But do tell Ken all about this mystery girl. The suspense is killing us. Plus… I know that Akira’s getting tetchy again. Wants to start up another betting pool and the success of you and mystery girl is surely something.”

They all ignored the gasp that Nagi took at the term ‘mystery girl’ and the way her eyes light up like a child on Christmas morning. It was easier to ignore her eccentricities and the way that her mind worked when she had something to tease one of them about. Although Taiga knew he was joining her in teasing him over ‘Mystery Girl.’

Even the nickname, ‘Mystery Girl’ brought a smile to his lips and made him snort quietly.

“What can you even bet on? We aren’t that serious,” Ken frowned. “Youse don’t even know her.”

“Well, we want to, to bet,” Mei shrugged. “I’m betting a shotgun wedding no matter what.”

“We including divorce in those bets or?” Kyo added in, drinking some of his own beer. “Because I agree with a shotgun wedding, but I think divorce after three years. At most.”

“Why are you predicting my divorce for a girl I have not even started dating yet? We just, hang out from time to time,” Ken explained slowly but there was a rising blush to his cheeks which was not from the hot air outside or the alcohol he had consumed in there. Not from the beer that they all knew he was probably chugging before a show and afterwards as a ‘job well done’ to himself.

“Ken’s in love~~~” Nagi trilled excitedly. “I’m glad.”

“I was wondering when one of you would settle down,” another member of the city spoke up. “Glad to see its Ken. Although…”

“I am not settling down,” Taiga stated plainly. “Someone has to look after little miss reckless and free and wild.”

“’Little miss reckless and free and wild.’” Nagi repeated disgustedly. “Ken, I give you permission to kill Taiga to become my favourite brother.”

“Literally what the f*ck?”

“I am not going to jail for that prick.”

“I’m so glad you love me.”

“I don’t. I just have better ways to go to jail that don’t involve murdering you. Though if an axe wielding maniac came up to me and asked to murder you, I would tell them where to go.”

“You need me! I’m the brains and brawn and the beauty of the operation!”

“Please,” Nagi snorted. “We all know I attract new fans more than you two ever could. Women magnet and a, ugh, man magnet.”

“I can’t wait until people find out Ken’s no longer on the market.”

“Can we bet on that too?”

“Oh, my f*cking God,” Ken groaned hiding his face in his hands. “You’re all pricks.”

“We know!”

#

They did, eventually, meet Ken’s mystery woman one day. They managed to whittle him down to let them meet her and they did have to sing a pathetic love song, but no one could ever realise what the actual f*ck was going to happen. Could they?

Perhaps God was a f*cking bitch for making Ken fall in love with the same Suzuki Yuka that Nagi had fallen in love with and who agreed to be ‘just friends’ but that didn’t ease the pain or awkwardness. As they all looked to one another and realised that they had performed a love song for the same woman and no one knew what to say.

Mei had the time of her life running the gambling ring that evening and eventually the whole town knew of the little scandal. But no one cared when Nagi and Yuka linked arms and skipped down the street excitedly and chatting avidly about their life and the future and their goals and were back to being best friends. Ignoring the elephant in the room whilst Taiga only stared at Ken threateningly and imposingly. Looking at him warningly.

Ken understood it, of course he did, he felt similarly about Nagi, before sighing and shaking his head. “The heart wants what it wants.”

“Doesn’t mean I can’t disapprove of the situation,” Taiga grumbled. “You treat her well though because if you ruin her, you ruin Nagi.”

“Hence why I think we might get a shotgun wedding.”

“She will f*cking slaughter you two. One, because she bet that you would have a casual thing in the town for a wedding. Two, because she wouldn’t be invited to be there and be Yuka’s maid of honour.”

“f*ck, I forgot she bet on us.”

“Uh-huh. Plus, you’re her brother. She’d castrate me if I got a shotgun wedding and you’re definitely the favourite, what the f*ck would she do to you?”

“You misunderstand her I think. She adores me because I grew up with her in a weird way but I did not grow up with her. You’re the favourite because you two share so much with one another and know each other inexplicably,” Ken tutted. “It’s why I didn’t want to introduce Yuka for a while. Wanted her to be my thing. My special person and make sure she was, you know, the one.”

“And is she?”

“’Course. It doesn’t make sense on paper, we’re too different, but in reality, not much makes sense on paper. Science barely makes sense on paper and only does because we can now see those experiments with sh*tty videos on the topic showing how those conclusions were made,” Ken explained slowly. “On paper, we are opposites in every manner, but the reality is that we work together so well, so complimentary that it makes my heart warm. Yeno?”

“Not in the slightest. I don’t do love or romance,” Taiga sighed. “I’m glad for you though. She seems like a good person and if she was able to capture Nagi’s heart, there’s something I’m missin’. Innit?”

“Innit,” Ken snorted, clapping his hand on Taiga’s back. “’sides, we need a new teacher here anyway and that’s what she wants to be.”

“Let us get a f*cking career before you become a sensible father and all that sh*t.”

“We haven’t even talked kids?”

“But you have talked about a shotgun wedding?”

“Why do you sound so f*ckin’- don’t say you bet on Yuka and I,” Ken moaned looking at the floor and avoiding Taiga’s happy face.

“I couldn’t be the only one not betting on it. I’d look like a prick- more so than usual,” he corrected once Ken looked at him as if to say, ‘you’re always a prick, you prick.’

“Who hasn’t bet on my relationship with Yuka?”

“Our parents. Yours and mine. And the children but also, I think they might be running their own little gambling den with f*cking mini figures and all that sh*t. Pokémon cards and that bullsh*t.”

“One moment of peace. All I ask for.”

“That song f*cked you over. That was too f*cking pathetic for people to pretend otherwise,” Taiga shrugged as they walked through the street lost in thought. Going to one of the drink machines and getting their signatures that they had as children when they first became a thing as a group. A family of some sort.

“You know it’s nothin’ bad. I’m really happy for you.”

“You sound like you’re being tortured to say that.”

“I am.”

“I’m glad that you’re being tortured to be nice to me. Especially when I’m the one with the business graduation degree so we can start our own record label and that.”

“You were always better at networking and being social. Why do you think every girl fell to their knees and were head over heels in love with you? You just had that charm. I don’t have that. So I accept that my role, so far, is done.”

“I’m glad you’re my partner, yeno? I know you don’t seem to think you have much of a role anymore,” Ken sighed. “But you always make me want to be better and to match up to you and your talent. More so than Nagi does because I’ve f*cking accepted, I’m never touching her. You just get me. You’re my… friend.”

“Sound any less pained calling me that, would ya?”

There was a moment of silence between them. “You know, we’re gonna have less money, right? It’s gonna be difficult.”

“I know. But you think that I haven’t been investin’ and sh*t then you’re wrong. And if we have to work regular jobs for a while, we do that. We do that until we can create our future for the next generation,” Taiga stated. “Nagi knows that too. Hence why she’s marketing herself as a singer, songwriter, producer. Commissions and all that.”

“Sometimes I forget that she’s not that young anymore. That she’s really dependable and capable,” Ken sighed fondly. “I remember her being a bratty, co*cky but shy little thing. Now look at her.”

“We all changed. You most of all because you’re in lo-“

“I will push you over and let you smash your head into the ground and die from blunt force trauma,” Ken sniped. “Don’t test me.”

“I won’t. But, I would appreciate it if you had a shotgun wedding and Nagi and I were invited and it was in Osaka.”

“I haven’t even- we are not getting married.”

“Want to bet on that?”

“I hope someone f*cking kills you and does me the f*cking favour.”

“So you might get married?”

“Kotaki Taiga you self-absorbed punk!”

Chapter 31: I - 30

Chapter Text

Taiga sighed as he clambered out of the car, avoiding waking up Ken and Nagi as they slept fitfully, tossing and turning and restricted by the small space of the car that they were using to catch rides and travel all over Japan and reestablish themselves. They had been out from under Travis’ thumb for a while, but it wasn’t as idyllic as they were making it out to be when they were stuck under there. It was draining and difficult for them as they travelled from city to city, working in small like pubs and bars where the paint was chipped and the wallpaper was bound to peel back from the wall.

Nagi was more tired than ever and more prone to fall asleep at a pin drop. She didn’t mean it but she was more sluggish than ever and whilst they made sure to find a place to cook, temporarily, and feed her food with more iron in it. She was still the weak little thing and her lashes would flutter open and closed constantly and it was killing her inside.

It was killing all of them inside the way that it had to be and how hard they fought. Driving most of the day to make it across to the country and to do a venue and gig for it to be only five or so minutes, a super short set, and they had to be satisfied with that. If they weren’t they were ungrateful.

They didn’t want to be ungrateful but it wasn’t an easy thing to do to. The three of them slotting together in a small car and sleeping together, crushed together and waking up with pains in their necks. Their backs clicking whenever they straightened up and stood as tall as they were. Their arms dead from resting on them and shoulders disconnected and, possibly, dislocated from the angles they were sleeping.

If Taiga thought being under the company and dropping out because his back was against the wall and he felt like he had to was tough. Then he didn’t know the future that was ahead of him, his present.

There were times where he wanted to take the easier route. The easier life and simply work for Travis and stay there. It was painful, it was ardours and they lacked creativity and freedom, but it was easier than what was happening in the present. But it wasn’t what they wanted for their creative freedom and their musical career and direction. They wanted an identity that was separate and different to what the company was trying to force onto them and they may not have had creative concepts, they didn’t need them to be over the top and thought out. Real life ARGs didn’t satisfy any of them nor pique their interest, but they wanted to control the music they released and the story the songs on albums told. They wanted to talk about the clothing choices and music videos and the concept. They wanted to have that control and autonomy for their career.

They weren’t asking for much, and yet, they were forced to struggle the way that they were in that moment.

Taiga stood on the pier edge and looked down at the ocean and the small waves lapping the side of the wall. It was oddly therapeutic when his mind was racing with unanswered questions and thoughts. When all he was doing was thinking about how he had ended up in the place he did from being the young person he once was, looking back at Nagi and protecting her as her only brother, and now she had another brother. She had another guy that would move heaven and hell for her.

And then that brother now had a wife (which was a shotgun wedding by the way, it was in Kyoto though and not Osaka, so Usagi who worked the little onigiri stall won the bet) who waited on him dutifully and loved him more than anything else in the world. She had offered to join them on their little tour, but it was too much for her and well, they couldn’t handle it. Only powering through because it was their career and money on the line, they couldn’t give up and return home empty handed. Not at all. So they trudged through the cities and towns and bars with smiles on their faces and continued onwards.

Sometimes she joined them in certain cities and if she could pull herself away from being a teacher for the time. And she was a fun person, Taiga actually liked her once he had gotten over how she had made his sister’s heart hurt. If Ken had Nagi, he had Yuka and that was fine for him. She was someone that he did, sincerely, appreciate and wished nothing but the best for her and her future with Ken. He had felt bad when he saw the two of them and how Yuka worked with him and complimented Ken’s more haggard parts for those that predicted they would get a divorce because, to him, it was too improbable.

She loved him, wholly and truthfully and yeah, he was glad for it, someone needed to love that kid, it was also annoying at the same time. Something gnawed at him about how unlikely it was for him to find someone that even half way reciprocated the way that she did with Ken.

She wasn’t a bad woman though and she was a great friend. His best friend outside of the group and they would often just talk on those days where she joined them. They talked about anything and everything and she too liked alcohol more than the average amount so they would bond over that fact and laugh with one another, stifling giggles as they reviewed the shoddy bars they performed in. And when he felt like giving up, she was there to encourage him onwards and upwards.

Nagi could encourage him, that was for sure, but not in the way that Yuka managed to do so. Yuka was an outsider looking in and she had a slightly better grasp than people left on the outside, but she didn’t know it all. She didn’t know the hardships in their fullest form because Ken was Ken and was a bottler of his feelings and so he wouldn’t break in front of her or near her. He wouldn’t let those soul consuming and body consuming sobs to wrack through his body near her when he was reaching the brink of exhaustion and he felt as though he could not fight or continue on anymore. He remained as strong as she thought him to be even if she knew the truth.

She was an insightful thing that always knew what the best course of action was and always knew what to say. It was one of the benefits of her being a teacher he supposed, always knowing what to say when someone was struggling to coax them to open up and help them.

She was that for Taiga and their friendship, their bond was too precious for him that on nights like the one he was experiencing, he dearly wished she was there. They would talk amongst themselves until they were blue in the face and laugh until their sides hurt and they were light headed. And the next day he would be f*cking drained, too tired to do much if anything. Sleeping as Ken took the first drive so he could have some sleep for when they had to swap over and the fatigue was too much, but it was soothing for him and he wasn’t as worried as he was in that moment. He wasn’t a ball of anxiety contemplating the future because with her in the equation they were not fighting for just their future, but hers too.

She was as much of a member of RADder as they were, and she was integral to their morale and how they all were. Laughing and teasing one another. Being friends and their dynamic didn’t even shift much to encompass her in the group and the behind the scenes. It was a natural thing like breathing was.

Taiga resolved himself that this was not just Nagi’s dream he was fighting for. It was his and Ken’s too, but most importantly, it was for their future. Ken and Yuka’s future because whilst they were all so blasé about it and acted as though the lack of money and the investments were not an issue, it hindered any of the newly wed bliss the two of them would feel and could feel. It stopped them from really discussing the future and children because Yuka adored them and Ken had mentioned once or twice, offhandedly, that if he was in a position to have children. He would.

Those discussions were effectively on pause for God knew how long because neither of them could discuss the future without there being an impending worry of it all and how it would affect them. How if this failed, which there was a chance it did, how it would trickle into their home lives and their world view.

Taiga wanted to negate that possibility as much as he could, so he sighed to himself and strengthened his resolve. He had to fight for this as much as he could because if he didn’t fight for it, then anything that they did and the sacrifices they had made over the years would be for nothing.

He would protect his dream, his friends dream, his sisters dream. He would protect his family and their future, make it possible for anything and everything to happen. He just needed to calm down and gather his thoughts sensibly and consider each and every possibility.

He wasn’t a planner nor the strategy guy, that was Ken, but for this he would be, and he would be a damned good one.

Tapping his fingers against the ice-cold railing as a way to gather himself, he listened to how the country was still up and running as stupid o’clock in the morning. Other people had plights and fitful sleep. Other people were still working to secure their future and they weren’t shy about it. They were driving and conversating. They were working themselves to the bone likewise and even though, in contract, they were free from that hell that controlled them and gave them images they didn’t like nor want, there was an aspect of them still having some sway and hold over them. Taiga felt it as he wondered if he would be like those workers up at this time if he was still there and how this idle thought and not doing anything (like writing lyrics, production, learning instruments, modelling and acting) was not beneficial to anyone. That the down time he was experiencing was more detrimental than working himself to the bone and becoming a pile of bones on the floor and just utterly nothing in the end.

The leaves rustling with a soft wind were soothing to him and if he wanted to, he could probably doze off standing straight up. It wouldn’t be the worst way to sleep whilst on this road trip, but it wasn’t particularly ideal. What if there was a murderer who slit his throat and pushed him into the sea beneath him? That was actually a good chance really.

He wouldn’t tempt fate more than he already had done even if he wasn’t a particularly superstitious person nor did he really believe in fate inherently. Nor really did he believe in higher powers and their use; he would try and not to tempt fate much more. It was not his own destiny on the line. It was everyone and everything he had ever cared for on the line therefore they had to stop it from snapping and, on the way, snapping their own necks.

He took one more breath to himself, his resolve strengthened and sleep disappearing from his broken and worn down frame before heading back to the car. Nagi still soundly asleep on the back seat and Ken was twitchy as he lay down in the car. But it was better than before as he sunk onto his own seat and reluctantly lay down.

The backs of the driver’s seat and the passenger’s seat had been pushed back so they lay flat to make up some space to sleep for the two men. It certainly wasn’t enough, they were actually tall in comparison to Nagi who knew how to curl up into herself like a ball on the back seat to sleep in, but it was better than nothing else he presumed.

It wasn’t the best place to sleep, less than ideal, but it was something and it saved them purchasing hotel rooms with money they did not have. Any money they earnt, any profit, was either placed in a savings account so they could purchase a place on Vivid Street to start up a company with a little place above the company to rest their head and any possessions that Yuka was hoarding in her little apartment. Or, the extra was used on rainy days or to just get them slightly better gigs so hey weren’t breathing in so much cheap smoke and hanging out in dingy bars that were covered in the scent of sex and cheap alcohol. Not even good alcohol. Cheap.

That probably should not have been at the top of his list of annoyances, but it was all in the little things that made life. Like Nagi’s laughter after a particularly long day and how she always lightened up the mood and made him and Ken laugh unwillingly. Ken and his phone call conversations with Yuka at the pay phone, grinning to himself like a loser when she picked up on first ring before they were all squished together at the receiver to earn her voice and words of encouragement. The different pieces of inspiration for music and memories that they would make together which Taiga would cherish.

How when they had more than enough at the start, Nagi bought a really sh*tty disposable camera that had them looking pale as hell like they were taking images of ghosts and not really people. Their images weren’t the clearest and it was a really dirt poor cheap thing, but it was sacred to them all as Nagi took pictures with the crowd at their performances and tried to gain them fans. Slowly but surely. Wearing them down and one day, world domination and security would be at their finger tips.

It was the same as it was in the street.

They were not yet respected, and they had to work to garner that respect and devotion and adoration that they currently had. They were not always princesses, princes, queens and kings of Vivid Street. They worked hard for that and lit fires under their asses because each monumental stage was not really monumental and only a further stepping stone. Soon they would reach and scale a wall too tall that those that followed in their footsteps wouldn’t be able to see over it and reach beyond what they had reached and achieved.

They were hard workers and fighters. People probably expected them to cower at the sight but they would not and they would continue until they could no more and they would succeed. It wasn’t in the cards that they would fail after all this hard work and the tears they had shed. The sacrifices they had made to the point that Taiga had no education, Nagi sacked off university and Ken went down a path that he didn’t want all to achieve their dream.

There was no returning from that point.

So, lying on the cheap leather of the car that they had purchased when had more money than they did at current, and staring at the beige ceiling. Taiga dreamt. He wondered. He pondered. He contemplated and most of all, he didn’t stop until he was certain of the avenue they were going to venture down and that yes, they could do it. Without a shadow of a doubt, they could do it.

#

Three months later and they were finally getting somewhere, a new fire and passion in their hearts that Taiga had started with ever since that fateful night all that time ago.

It seemed like an age ago, but it had only been three months, and, in their progress, they had performed at two bars with decent alcohol. And one of them they had performed there three times in total which meant they had seen Yuka three times as she indulged Taiga with the alcohol, and they discussed all the life updates and the ongoings in the Street.

“You look like you’ve significantly lightened your baggage,” she offered, swirling her glass of tequila at him knowingly.

“’m not in the mood for you and your crypticness. Yuka,” he sighed, looking at the bottle of beer before shrugging. “Suppose I did, would it be a problem?”

“Not at all. It’d make your task easier I suppose not having to carry everything alone and take it with you city to city, bar to bar. You’re different on stage, closer to what I saw in Vivid Street.”

“Did you come this way just to psychoanalyse me? Don’t you have a husband to pester?”

“Perhaps, but you’re more fun admittedly. Besides, I already pestered him by showing him my newest tattoo-“

“I don’t want to know about your sex life with that f*cker,” he groaned, shaking his head at her.

“I wasn’t going to go there. Although… relax, I’m kidding. That’s private sh*t, but let me tell you the hotel room was lovely.”

“It was the cheapest one we could get.”

“And it was brilliant. Served its purpose.”

Taiga snorted at that before pushing her lightly. “You’re something, you know tha’?”

“I know! It’s why you like me though, isn’t it?”

“Perhaps.”

“Admit it. I’m not buying your ‘I’m a heartless prick sh*t.’ I know you well enough to know its fake and you’re not that bad. You’re a big old softy no matter what dogtags you wear to try and pretend otherwise,” Yuka huffed. “’sides, I wanted to ask you something. Present an idea I had to you.”

“Oh God, you thinkin’. Is the world about to end?”

“If I followed Islam, I would tell you that it’s not a Friday so no. I don’t think so,” she returned easily. Never missing a beat with her quips before becoming all serious. “I think this is a good idea though. Genuinely. You need people and well… we have the contacts to do this.”

“Is this related to you knowing people that would kill Ken and no one would ever find his body?”

“No. It’s the people you know in the city. What if you all made new songs and a music video in a bar- hear me out, people in Vivid Street would help you. They would be extras and it doesn’t have to be professional. Like taking a really sh*tty camera where it won’t be captured properly and just film shots of either the ‘tour’ or like partying in clubs and bars. Footage to try and promote the songs and gain new fans,” Yuka mused aloud. She tapped the countertop in thought. “It doesn’t have to be expensive and it’s really cheap in comparison to making a proper one, right?”

“You know your husband does the finances.”

“I know but if- I wanted you on my side to see the vision. If you get it then the other two will because I think it’s a really good idea. Being in music bars and sh*t is great and all, but then you’re stuck to the crowd that genuinely loves music. You were mainstream before. For f*ck’s sake, you were on national TV. If we could do something to get you back on popular TV and fans, we can help this process. Get a gig or two, promote the company and yeah,” she explained passionately, her brown eyes lighting up in determination.

“When’d you get so wise?”

“Marking the work of children and trying to not scream in frustration. You have lots of time to think and patience to exert. I felt useless and I want to help you all.”

“You help us always.”

“I want to be not active, God, I can’t hold a note to save my life, but I want to be apart of it. This is my future too and I like the way that Nagi smiles, I like how happy it makes Ken even when he’s so tired and I like how it makes you happy too. You’re my family.”

“And you’re mine,” Taiga returned easily. “It’s not a bad idea. When we get back to the Street, we could do that I think. We just need a song. And people to agree.”

“Now, that’s your part. I did mine.”

“You did. Can you manage it with like work and all that?”

“’Course I can. I am a woman. I can multitask.”

He raised a brow at her and when she didn’t falter or concede he only shook his head at her. “Suppose I believe you then.”

“You best had. Now, let’s continue to drink this because the last place we went to and their cheap tequila f*cked me up.”

“Lovely.”

“It did!”

“I know it did, I had to carry you back to the car.”

She stuck out her tongue at him briefly before downing the last of her drink. “Next round’s on me!”

#

Nine months later, they were doing better, and Yuka was right. The music video idea worked and that meant that they each had a solo to try and capture them all perfectly and their essence. Nagi went first because people vaguely recognised her and so they worked based on public reception, according to Ken, that was the smartest thing to do. If people recognised her and she was spotted out and about performing in places, then they would get more fans and more gigs.

He went next since he was in the limelight longer due to dropping out and prioritising it and some of their old contacts came back into contact. His promotion for his solo was easier than it was for Nagi, but she wasn’t jealous or begrudged him, no, instead she reaped the benefits and continued to be a people person. Be the extrovert she was and convince people to help them out and give them ideas. Getting links and contacts back once more and firmly in their grasp.

Ken was last and the hard work that Nagi and Taiga had in place paid off as they made some progress and felt secure enough to take less gigs and just be content in Vivid Street. To get a f*cking place to start off their company and to run it and rule the world.

To have such a grasp on the future that it was shocking and strange to be back in a bed and to sleep. He slept fitfully for a month afterwards and started working on the actual company and the production rooms when he woke up throughout the night. Careful to not wake up Nagi who he shared a room with and to not disturb Ken and Yuka across the hallway.

The music flowed out their souls and into their lyrics and they never had to worry about there not being enough. There always was for them. It was everything they could’ve wanted and more.

They were so secure they started hiring and taking on younger people. Soloists. People that there was less of a chance to f*ck off on in the company and the money was coming in and it was perfect.

Their dream was within reach. And yeah, they had to road trip sometimes to gain fans, but they could have proper music videos even if they liked the more grungy look of their shoe string budget ones. Having professional ones sometimes was much better and attracted more fans because they believed they were loaded and full of money. Not knowing half of the clothes were on loan and they had to give them back after filming, but that was fine, it was the secrets of the industry.

And soon they would rule it all.

They could build that wall and smash the previous one. They could.

#

Once they were very established, they all started moving out from above the company and repurposed that space for more vocal rooms and dance rooms. Choreographers were hired who listened to them and offered them input and feedback. Who let them try things and tried to take what they said to heart. Who didn’t overwork Nagi and understood with her anaemia that they had to be careful with what they did.

Not that she would die if they didn’t, but they didn’t want to force too much on her and she seemed grateful for it even if a little miffed. There was no real way of winning with her, was there?

Yuka was more secure in her teaching job and her patience had only grown and so did her nurturing personality that when she came up to them one day and so casually just threw in ‘I’m pregnant’ during conversations. He wasn’t shocked. In fact, he had looked at Ken and her and said, ‘Took you long enough,’ before saying ‘Congratulations.’ Whilst Nagi looked floored and she began to jump up and down and giggle to herself, the two women excited beyond measure.

They were more secure at that point; they were running big gigs and RADder were national names. Places in America wanted them to sign under them and Ken was busy smoothing over relations in the town. It was a tough workload but with all the blood sweat and tears they had poured into the f*cking thing; they would reap the benefits. They would take every opportunity presented to them, not passing them up as they worked and worked and sang until they died.

It was all in reach so settling down for a year or two wasn’t a bad move and well, people were dying for more solos.

He turned to Nagi, and they shared a secretive smile, the kind that only siblings could share.

Yeah. They were on the same page. They were on the same chapter, and they knew the ending.

They were stuck forever and forever. They would do it all and so much more. The world just had to be able to stand at the end and watch and wait with bated breath.

Chapter 32: ACT II

Chapter Text

Rome was not built over night.

Rome took years upon years to be built before it crumbled.

Houses took years to be built and thought about before they fell to their doom.

Before they became so weak that they fell as soon as you ghosted your fingers over the bricks and you were smothered in sediment.

Some of them did not fall to waste like that.

Some of them had strong and solid foundations that kept them alive and upright.

Eventually, all foundations would grow weak and the building would crumble.

People would rebuild it once more in it's image and likeness.

It was only an imitation.

Not the real thing.

But it took a while for it to crumble and break.

Years really.

Eons.

Trauma.

There are other ways to found a dream and have a foundation for something.

Like foundation for your makeup.

It covered up the mess and the blurs and kept everything together at a cost.

Soon it would be wiped off and you were looking at a different person.

Less put together and prepared.

Sometimes it cracked like a broken heart and dreams when it was too far from grasp.

Other times it stayed flawless and then you were confronted with the harsh reality you deluded yourself was impossible.

When you lived distant to reality.

When you lived in the clouds and got close to the sun, like our friend Icarus, you were burnt.

And the fall was always harder and the worst thing known to man.

From three, to two.

- Act II, Kotaki Nagi, The Foundations of Dreams

Also known as the time of one Shiraishi An in the life of RADder. Her mentorship. Her love. Her idolatry. Her everything and the passing of the crown and nicknames from the town onwards and onwards. A crushing belief in something before it was rudely stripped away at the last moment of time. And the world changed and dreams changed. And oh, did it hurt, but they were RADder. They could do it. Kotaki Nagi would make sure of it.